Should giant held-back-a-year child be allowed to play rugby out of year group?

[Onthetrain75]

There is a child in my son’s year 7 who would technically be a year 8 but has been held back for academic reasons. He’s a sturdy big child, I would say around 5ft 6 and 10 stone.

He’s a keen rugby player and is playing down a year to be with his class mates. But I’ve heard rumblings from other schools that parents aren’t happy he is playing under 12s when he should be under 13. Mostly I think they are concerned about safety of the other kids though I think they probably would also prefer the scores if he didn’t play.

I don’t know whether to say anything to his mum about the bad feeling that I know this is causing. What do you think?

YANBU - let him play with his mates
YABU - given his size and age he should be playing under 13s.

@Jangle33

Absolutely nothing to do with you, unless you are the PE teacher or run the rugby club. Don’t get involved !

Disagree. Unfortunately, not all schools or PE teachers take rugby safety seriously. I'm an A&E doctor/urgent care GP, and I still regularly see kids who have been allowed to walk off the pitch with potential neck injuries (incredibly dangerous). You cannot assume that 'teacher knows best'. I would be asking the school what they are doing to ensure the safety of smaller children.

In NZ, where rugby is king, all kids play by size/weight, not age, for safety reasons.

5 foot 6 and 10stone isn’t that big

@Hellocatshome sorry to hear that about your son, I hope your son made a quick recovery. Could the same incident have happened irrelevant of the child's size?

My son hasn't had an injury that has required an ambulance but he has sustained injuries from smaller players that has required a pot on the leg.

When we play other clubs we have the right to ask a players age if it is apparent they are older than the rules allow. I’d speak to the coach. We had an incident where a
Taller child swapping out from American football into rugby was making dangerous moves. Their coach didn’t give a shit so I took my child off the field when they played.

@Hellocatshome

my 10 year old is taller than his peers, could be mistaken for being a few years above them but he still plays football with them without any safety concerns.

Football is a completely different kettle of fish. My son is small for his age and was tackled by a larger than average child of the same age in rugby. Perfectly legal, well executed tackle. DS was absolutely flattened, air ambulance called the lot.

That sounds really frightening and from speaking to some friends who work in our local children’s hospital, not uncommon.

It’s not just about the injured child either. It must be awful to feel like you’ve seriously hurt someone without meaning to, simply because you are bigger than they are. If it was a life changing injury the psychological damage would be substantial.

We need a more sensible approach to contact sports in schools and clubs.

Doesn't sound like this involves either your circus or your monkeys, OP.

Leave well enough alone.

yababoab for calling him a "Giant, held-back-a-year-child".

Sounds like someone is sh*t stirring. Leave alone

Would there be 'concerns' if he was the same age but just as big? I don't see the issue tbh and you definitely have no need to say anything to his mum. It's up to the rugby coach

In Football, August-borns who began reception at 5.0 may be able to use the disability policy. My son benefits from this because our paediatrician recommended delaying schooling by a year due to his language delay. It's a good policy. You can see it at the bottom of this page.
www.thefa.com/get-involved/player/disability/disability-football-overview
You do have to get the school/the coach to say if there are any health and safety concerns.

I think YABABOAB unless this child was born a good six months earlier and is a good six inches taller than the next lad. If he was born on 31st August and is the tallest by half an inch then YABALAOAB.

How can you have am under 12s team but also an under 13s team? Maybe I have misunderstood. I have never heard of a child being held back a year either even if they are behind

OP why is it your responsibility to say something?
Or is it actually not your place to say something?

I don’t think there is an issue with this child playing in the Y7 team. As others have said boys at this age can massively vary in shape and size. 5ft 6 inches is not huge for y8. My brother in law went through puberty relatively early and 6 foot by age 12. (My MiL use to have to take his birth certificate with her as they wouldn’t believe he was under 13).

There is a bigger question, as others have said, if contact sports should be done on something more then age (probably weight).

to be fair, if people couldn't do their bitchy shit-stirring on mumsnet they would be much more likely to do it on the playground.

much better for the OP to debate it here where no one will get upset (much) than locally.

It's hardly different to a September-born playing against an August-born?

Contact Rugby shouldn't be played by people unable to give informed consent to potential brain damage or at all.

In most independent prep schools they play mixed years anyway eg 5/6 7/8 so it wouldn't be unusual.

What a mean way to describe a child. There may be children of that height and size anyway in year 7 anyway.

Referring to him as “giant “ is pretty unkind

In an ideal world rugby players should play against simiarl weight and height, that is how it is done in NZ. But this is the UK and we do it on age. He should play in his age group so should not be playing with his year group if he been held back a year. It is irrelevant that there are differences in children of the same year group, of course there are however there is a cut of for a reason. I would be surprised if he was insured to play a year group down.

Do not say anything to the mum but raise your concerns with the school without mentioning height and weight. Simply he is in the wrong age group. The thing about rugby at this age is that they also start to introduce different rules of the game each year, e.g lineouts, scrum etc so if this child is playing out of school up an age group he will also be more skilled.

If he's under 13 still then of course he can play - it's split by age, not year group.

However - school rugby is absolutely fraught with quite frankly dangerous issues, since children grow at incredibly different rates. It's really not safe playing contact rugby with the usual large differences in size and weight that come aged 11-16, which is why the rules need urgently reviewing for childen.

Health and safety, should be with his age group not his year group.

If it's union affiliated it possibly wouldn't be allowed but it may depend on when his birthday falls. My boys had to provide their birth certificates to the irfu to prove their age before they could play. Rugby parents often have things to grumble about so I'd probably leave it to the school or club.

In the uk a child is definitely not allowed to play rugby out of their age group in school or at a club. Normally contact rugby is played in year 7.

''Held back for academic reasons' is unusual in the state system, unless he is an August born and was permitted to defer back in Reception.'

Maybe this is true of the state schools in England, but it's perfectly normal and common in the state schools of Scotland for children within 3 months of the age boundary to be invited to stay back a year and develop their maturity. We prefer our children to be five, or very close to it before they start school.

What's the relevance that he's been held back a year?

Children the same age come in all shapes and sizes.

I'd leave the poor mum alone to be honest. She probably has enough in life to deal with, without you describing her son as 'giant' and thinking that him being held back a year is relevant to this.

It’s a shame for him but it’s about the other children’s safety. Otherwise they could just play in ability groups rather than age groups.