Should giant held-back-a-year child be allowed to play rugby out of year group?

[Onthetrain75]

There is a child in my son’s year 7 who would technically be a year 8 but has been held back for academic reasons. He’s a sturdy big child, I would say around 5ft 6 and 10 stone.

He’s a keen rugby player and is playing down a year to be with his class mates. But I’ve heard rumblings from other schools that parents aren’t happy he is playing under 12s when he should be under 13. Mostly I think they are concerned about safety of the other kids though I think they probably would also prefer the scores if he didn’t play.

I don’t know whether to say anything to his mum about the bad feeling that I know this is causing. What do you think?

YANBU - let him play with his mates
YABU - given his size and age he should be playing under 13s.

While I might find this frustrating, it's year 7 and I'm really not sure that there's that much difference between the boys. Also, very importantly, it's Year 7 where sport is at largely about making friends, learning to play with others etc. If the child has been kept back a year, one assume he is struggling and that therefore there are good reasons for him to be with the younger group. I'd feel differently if it was a child who was 16 playing u12.

It would also be ENTIRELY unreasonable to say something to the mum. If you have concerns, approach the coach. It's not your decision and sticking your nose in and putting this on the mum is unreasonable.

I'm not sure what the answer is, but it does beg the question as to what happens when a Year 6 is held back a year from starting secondary. Do they have to miss out on all the sports teams for that year? I've never really thought about that! Unless he's absolutely the biggest and best player on the pitch, it's probably best to let it ride. There may only be a month or two difference between him and some of the other players.

My ds was 5'8 at 12 .He's 6'6 now as an adult he actually stopped playing rugby at this age as he was afraid of hurting the other children !

He should be playing with boys his own age or taking it easy on the wee ones. You shouldn’t speak to his mum though, even if she’s a friend. The worried parents need to speak to the coach though, all of them. I’d say that to any rumbles coming in my direction and leave it at that.

Sport is all about the physical advantage. Small children are good at gymnastics and tall ones good at tennis, big footed children are good at swimming etc
I think the child should play in his correct age group but he should not be made to feel bad about his size and sport.

This is why rugby has the potential to be so dangerous. It’s not only a problem with children playing outside their year group. There’s a huge variation in size and weight once they reach 12+. If you’re a smaller child, having someone of 10 stone tackle you could end up in serious injury, more so if it’s not done correctly.

In more enlightened rugby playing countries they sort players by height and weight rather than age for precisely this reason. I wouldn't say anything to his mum but neither would I be happy about my child playing against him if he were much smaller and lighter - but Id take that up with the school.

IME, school teams are done by year group, and club teams by age

If he was held back for academic reasons (seems unlikely), then playing rugby may be a wonderful opportunity for him to excel, which would boost his self esteem

If it's within the rules, then he's an asset to his team

If it's not within the rules, then he should play with his age group

@PeachesPumpkin

Sport is all about the physical advantage. Small children are good at gymnastics and tall ones good at tennis, big footed children are good at swimming etc I think the child should play in his correct age group but he should not be made to feel bad about his size and sport.

What about the physical damage which could be done to the smaller child? Contact sports carry a higher risk of injury to other players if you are bigger and heavier.

@Porcupineintherough

In more enlightened rugby playing countries they sort players by height and weight rather than age for precisely this reason. I wouldn't say anything to his mum but neither would I be happy about my child playing against him if he were much smaller and lighter - but Id take that up with the school.

Exactly. Contact sports like rugby should be made up of players of a similar weight and size, at least at school age.

Certainly in Scotland there are additional criteria as well as age for teams ensuring that the sizes aren't too mismatched. So you can be under 12 but not allowed to play due to height and weight.

You do realise that kids hit puberty at different times and by year 8 and 9 some of the kids will be towering above their smaller classmates. It's not like they split the teams by height and weight!

There are lads in my daughter’s class (S1) who are twice the size of the others. If the child is within the age group, he is able to play.

IME, school teams are done by year group, and club teams by age

This isn't the case in my experience. Of course, usually they are the same thing. Certainly at DS's old school they were "U13" instead of Y8

He should be playing in his age group.

@Oblomov21

Ds2 (year 8) plays football for local team and also school. Some boys are just enormous, some are tiny. What are you supposed to do?

Play correct age group. It's the one thing you can control given they are split by age and not size.

Internal PE lessons, he should obviously be with his class. Out of school it should be based on whatever rules govern the sport at club level, which won't necessarily be school year. My DS plays 2 sports out of school. One uses 31st August as cut off date so the age groups match school year, and the other uses calendar year, making DS one of tge youngest in his group for one sport and one of the oldest in the other! It would be helpful if all sports used the same system in my opinion, but they don't unfortunately.
Inter school matches are a bit tricky. I guess it depends if it's actually designated a Year 7 team or an Under 12 team. If under 12 then he probably should technically be in the next team up, but that may be difficult for him socially I guess, and a school match is hardly the Olympics is it?
I think his height is a red herring. He may well be big for year 8 too, and there will probably be other tall Year 7s.There will be children at both ends of the normal range in every year and they generally just have to manage. My DS1 was 5ft 6 and about 8 stone in year 13 so the boy you describe could probably flatten him too!
Either way, I would stay out of it. It isn't your business, and it's not really his Mum's either is it? Or at least it isn't her decision. Team selection will be down to the coach/PE teacher. If other people think that rules are being broken let them take it up with the teacher.

Speak to the coach if you are concerned, it was their decision

I agree that yr 7-9 in particular the size ranges are highly problematic for sports like rugby. My rather non-sporty DS started to enjoy rugby in yr 7 and 8 as he realised that if he could just get the ball he could always score a try as no-one could stop him (summer birthday but grew very early; age 16 he's now a bit miffed that all his friends are overtaking him.). I think at one point their teacher demonstrated how two small boys could approach tackling him one on each leg ...

The fairest way to approach this issue may be to discuss with the teachers/coaches what measures they've got in place to ensure safety with the mix of sizes encountered in this age group. Then the question of sorting some of the bigger kids up a team can be approached more reasonably.

Not sure which age group I think he should be playing in but does 1 year age gap make much difference, possibly weeks, depending on when he was born.

Calling him a giant child is cruel though, my 10 year old is taller than his peers, could be mistaken for being a few years above them but he still plays football with them without any safety concerns.

my 10 year old is taller than his peers, could be mistaken for being a few years above them but he still plays football with them without any safety concerns.

Football is a completely different kettle of fish. My son is small for his age and was tackled by a larger than average child of the same age in rugby. Perfectly legal, well executed tackle. DS was absolutely flattened, air ambulance called the lot.

Aside from the safety and fairness aspects it's short term-ism all round.

Kid will have a physical advantage so won't improve as much as if he were tested against similar sized peers so when the time does come that he has to play his own age group he won't have benefitted from running through kids a year younger than him.

Team will win games by learning to overly rely on Lomu Jr then when the time comes to play without him they'll be lost a bit.

Although if all they want to do is win a lot of games then it's logical thinking, I just think there's a three way balance to find between winning/enjoyment and player development.

That said, I don't think it's your place to speak out, unless you can phrase it as him not getting tested or he's so good he should be playing at the higher age.

Giant child at 5ft 6 and 10 stone?! When he must be at least 12 years old.

Give over.

Yabu to think about speaking to him mum about it.

If you have concerns speak to the school.

It’s absolutely not your place to speak to his mum to try & get him moved to another pe class

Should definitely be playing with the correct age group, however that falls between the school years.