Moving from London to Cheltenham with Y9 DD

[Nevermindthesquirrels]

Are we being unreasonable? DD is 13 and isn't happy as she loves her school. Although the school is lovely, she really needs more support and is unlikely to get any GCSEs if she stays here. Her current EHCP is great but she will likely be moving to a dyslexia school in the Cheltenham area.
She is excited to get a dog as we will be moving from a flat to a 4 bed house.
I have seen many threads showing how damaged kids have been when moving at this stage in their lives so I just wanted to see if the general consensus is that we are being unreasonable? She has just started Y9.
As far as I can see:
Pros-
Better school
Bigger house
Safer
Lots more outdoor activities we won't have to drive so far too (mainly mountain biking which she loves)

Cons:
New friends
Know very few people there but have some old friends we can rekindle things with.
New school

Our jobs are from home so no change there. We can afford to pay for train fares for her to travel back to London to see friends. I assume this will be quite often in the beginning.

Any advice? Should we suck it up and move at 16?

Bump. Anyone?

To me your pros and cons list makes it seem pretty clear that moving is the right choice. I don't want to be flippant about your daughter's feelings but surely the long time effects of being unsupported at school will make her more unhappy in the long run? There is nothing more miserable than being at school and it feeling hopeless

I would only move if you can guarantee her a place at an appropriate school.

I would move her at that age if I thought she wouldn't get her gcses where she is.

No move her now. It's much easier for children when they're excited about the move and education alone is worth the move.

Thank you all.
There is currently a thread in the teenage bit where so many people are saying that moving at 13 is awful and it's making me have cold feet.
Don't get me wrong, she has no guarantee of getting the grades in the new school but at least she will be with peers who are like her. At the moment all her friends are super bright and aren't in her classes. She's in learning support most of the day.
She will either go to Bredon or Bowbrook House. Both will have a journey but they have school busses.
We haven't chosen which one yet.
I just feel like waiting till 16 is so much worse. So much harder to make friends at that age.

@wiSteriac43 The frustrating thing is she is supported well where she is. There is however a limit to how much support a mainstream secondary can provide. She's able to access all mainstream lessons but not when there are 30 kids. She is doing great in the lessons she has with 10-12 kids. The SEN foundation lessons are far too easy for her.
All the Indies in Cheltenham seem very academic and up themselves and ideally I'd want her in a state, but she really needs specialist support for ks4 which just doesn't exist in London. Fairley House won't touch her as she also has Speech and language needs.

They are both private, aren't they? Will she have to go for taster days as part of the admission process? If not, can she? If she likes the school and makes friendships on the taster days, that is the biggest hurdle overcome.

@chesirecat99 yes they are. She has never gone to a private school before and really didn't like Bredon as it is the more 'posh' looking one. There are quite a few kids there that are funded by the LA though.
I prefer Bowbrook but it is further.

I actually thought that other thread was ridiculous. Adults make decisions not 13 year olds and children round the world face far harder lives than getting bigger homes dogs and new nice places to love

Most kids are fine moving at that age, as long as they make new friendships. It sounds like this is so much better for her than staying in London. If she isn't unhappy about the move, I would see how she feels after doing some taster days (assuming there will be some).

Why base ourselves in Cheltenham? Bredon is a great place to live as are many of the villages/ towns around it

@waterrat I agree completely but there were some comments on there that made me feel really worried. I know people In real life who moved even in Y10 and we're fine. That's just anecdotal though.

@ThatsAllFolks I've never lived out of London and I think the shock of Cheltenham will be enough for now! Will work our way into the countryside gently 😂

If she's on course not to get any GCSEs then I would move her. Short term pain for long term gain really.

Well you will all enjoy living in Cheltenham (guess where I am ). The literature festival is on at the moment and is amazing, we have lots of festivals through the year. Mountain biking is good round here my ds is into it as well. He’s out most weekends on his bike.

Anyway about school, Bredon has a good reputation for meeting kids individual needs. One of our neighbors have moved their dd there from one of the other Cheltenham private schools, they are very happy with it. 13 is not too much of an issue particularly in private schools as new pupils arrive often in those.

As long as she makes new friends I'm sure it will be fine! 13 can be an aquward age for girl friendships though so be prepared for that.

DS is in Y9 and would be hugely resistant to a school move - so I can guess how you are feeling. At the end of the day I would do what I needed to do for his education though. Possibly wait until the end of the school year if that would work and agree to move then.

Cheltenham is a great place to live and Breadon is a wonderful school (and not as posh as it looks!). I really think once she gets here she'll flourish.

Are you moving her in the middle of the school year? That feels a bit harsh to me. Otherwise, it sounds like a sensible enough decision to make. Good luck with the move.

I would move to Worcester if you are considering Bowbrook over Bredon. Bowbrook is the most wonderful school and I would move your daughter there in a heartbeat. I have lived in both, Worcester and Cheltenham, and they are both wonderful, with direct trains to london & Birmingham, both on the motorway, both have good access to airports etc. You can get a lot more for your money in Worcester for houses, although they are rising.

@rhowton we were really really keen on Worcester. Then we found out the public transport is quite bad alongside the flooding issues. My mum will be moving to wherever we move and she doesn't drive. She will live seperately from us but still needs to be within a distance where a bus is reliable. I prefer the feel of Cheltenham, I really like the period properties and it all looks much prettier. There is the option for DD to take the train to Worcester parkway and get the school bus to Bowbrook.

@LittleGwyneth I'd rather that then move her in Y10. We didn't have much control over house sale.

Cheltenham is a nice town. But I'd live in one of the gorgeous villages that surround it. More going on in some of those villages than bigger towns.

I think the key issue on the other thread was that the OP had specifically promised her son he wouldn't have to move. Very different situation.

My only thought is to talk to her current school and prospective school about the curriculum. Many schools start teaching towards the GCSE syllabus before the actual start of the GCSE course. If it's possible to work out where any gaps might be, it'll be easier to fill them.

Better to move hnow at 13 before her GCSEs. Moving is daunting for all children, I'm sure she will adapt! My dp actually moved from Cheltenham to Cornwall when he wasn't much younger than your Dd. He said he found new friends quickly! He wasn't left damaged by the change or anything and now realises it was the best thing for him - he still likes Cheltenham btw but loves life in Cornwall more!