Moving from London to Cheltenham with Y9 DD

[Nevermindthesquirrels]

Are we being unreasonable? DD is 13 and isn't happy as she loves her school. Although the school is lovely, she really needs more support and is unlikely to get any GCSEs if she stays here. Her current EHCP is great but she will likely be moving to a dyslexia school in the Cheltenham area.
She is excited to get a dog as we will be moving from a flat to a 4 bed house.
I have seen many threads showing how damaged kids have been when moving at this stage in their lives so I just wanted to see if the general consensus is that we are being unreasonable? She has just started Y9.
As far as I can see:
Pros-
Better school
Bigger house
Safer
Lots more outdoor activities we won't have to drive so far too (mainly mountain biking which she loves)

Cons:
New friends
Know very few people there but have some old friends we can rekindle things with.
New school

Our jobs are from home so no change there. We can afford to pay for train fares for her to travel back to London to see friends. I assume this will be quite often in the beginning.

Any advice? Should we suck it up and move at 16?

If she wants to travel into London to see friends regularly I wouldn't base yourselves in Cheltenham, the train route to London is very slow and goes via Swindon. Worcester sounds like a better place for you given the school location you're talking about.

@JumperandJacket yes, I think that's a really irresponsible and silly thing to promise. I wouldn't want to do a commute to work like that, let alone to school.
She's in a school that starts GCSE syllabus in y9 and both of the schools we are thinking of start in Y10 so if anything she will have a bit more time to choose.
The gaps are so huge it's not even worth figuring them out as it's just depressing. She does fine day to day in the class but is hopeless when it comes to recall. Her school does a land studies course which she is doing instead of a GCSE. Bredon offers exactly that but they have an actual farm which would be perfect for her.

@Orchidprincess I don't really want it to be somewhere that's too easy for her to run to London to. I don't mind her going but I think when it's too easy its hard to settle in the new area.

Honestly, public transport is absolutely fine, and the flooding is only for a week here and there. I live and work on two sides of the river, and it really isnt that bad at all. Cheltenham is beautiful though.

@ILoveAnOwl do you have experience with it?
@StoneofDestiny any suggestions?

@rhowton We are going there again this weekend to look around so I will see if there's anything on the market in Worcester that could sway us. Not much on the market though. I know most kids in Bowbrook are from around there.

@rhowton sorry pressed send too quickly. -so I'd rather her live closer to her future friends. The admissions team there were lovely and did say that very few kids come from Cheltenham, which is surprising to me as there's really no non selective Indies in chelt.

13 is an okay time to move, it would be far more disruptive during year 10 or 11.

@Ricekake thank you, I agree. I think this thread has made me feel better.
Now to choose between Cheltenham and Worcester.

To those asking, she has a trial day in both schools the week after half term. We would ideally make her first day, the first day back after Xmas.

theres really no non selective indies in Chelt
That’s not quite accurate.

Bredon also have flexi boarding, our neighbor’s dd does that.

I know Breadon in a professional capacity although I don't work there. I love the ethos, the child centred approach and the opportunities for the pupils are incredible. I'd send my kids there in a heartbeat!

@MissyB1 which ones are non selective? Dean Close, both Cheltenham college and ladies, St Edwards and kings Gloucester have said no to us. We've crossed out the state as there's nothing like what she's getting now available in Cheltenham and class sizes are bigger than what she currently has. And what she's getting now is not sufficient for her needs.
I'm really open minded honestly. I wouldn't class Bredon as Cheltenham tbh but it does look great. I am worried about it being very boy heavy but that's the reality in these types of schools.

@ILoveAnOwl that's so nice to hear. The opinion on the few threads here hasn't been great. We were very impressed when we visited. What sways me towards it over Bowbrook is the post 16 provision. I'm a bit worried about being stuck in Worcester with nowhere to send her in a couple years time.

Aah I’m sorry I was thinking of St Ed’s which pretends to have an entrance test - but doesn’t really. If they have said no then that’s at least honest of them, they do have very good learning support, but it will have its limitations.

One or two of the other private schools here are known for promising the world to parents and then not being able to support the child. Money, money, money….

Have you looked at Wycliffe in the Stroud direction? Stroud is also on the London train line and Wycliffe are good for extra support when needed.

Cheltenham is a great place to live. We have found the Drs & hospital very good. Lots going on in the town and in Gloucester. Lots of private kids move in Year 9. Good luck!

@MissyB1 ah yes, well they didn't actually test her. They just looked at her EHCP as said no which I thought was quite funny as the only thing it asks is for 1:1 maths and English 1x a week for an hour as well as some specific things the teachers needs to do eg give handouts and sit her at the front.
It's also very religious which I don't like and I hate hate Saturday school.
@Billybagpuss we did! That's where the search started. We hated Stroud though. Far too hilly and seemed a bit depressing with really snotty villages and lots of SUVs.

@MissyB1 the Saturday thing was meant for Cheltenham College. They really promised us the world but the fees were just not justified to me and it all felt really really up itself. I had no evidence of their promises either. Learning support wasn't all that and class sizes were the same she has now. I'm sure there's some great kids there but I think it would be a massive shock to the system coming from a rough N London comp to that.

I think your situation is very different to the previous thread that you refer to. There is a clear educational advantage to your daughter here.

The other thread, there was no advantage to the DS, and in fact the op was talking about breaking a promise that she had made to him, however ill advised that promise might have been.

@Didiusfalco yes her situation is different but it's people's posts that got me worried. There were quite a few posters with horrendous experiences having had to move at that age.

We relocated when I was in year 9. I had one term of year 9 at my new school before going into my GCSEs.
I hated my mum for it at the time, I never made as good friends at that school as at my old and on paper it was a worse school - think I would have got better grades at my old school.
However, it was the best decision ever. I then went to an excellent local sixth form and got into an excellent university. We were able to get a dog which id wanted my entire childhood. I met my future husband at that sixth form. I still had a social life and went to parties etc, but my friends in the old area (more city-ish) were far more into clubbing / drugs / smoking and now I’m a parent myself I wouldn’t want to raise a teenager there. I became quite intimidated by my ‘old’ friends at the time. -I hope that last point doesn’t sound too judgemental

@ForkedIt thank you for that 🥺. I'm glad you're able to look back fondly now. I think this will definitely be much much better for her academically and on terms of lifestyle.
You don't sound judgemental at all. Is there anything your parents could've done to help more?

OP

Winchcombe
Guiting Power
Broadway
Stanton
Stowe in the Wold

@StoneofDestiny thanks. We did have a look at houses in stow and winchcombe. That area is really beautiful but I think we would all get depressed living there. I don't know how to explain it but it was all just so sleepy and perfect. Stow was ironically way too busy. Far too many tourists for the roads and we were stuck in traffic a lot. I think the journey to school would be a nightmare as Cotswold academy doesn't have great support.

Yes don’t move to a village if you enjoyed the buzz and facilities of London! Cheltenham town itself would suit you better.

Yes yes to Cheltenham College being up itself