Moving from London to Cheltenham with Y9 DD

[Nevermindthesquirrels]

Are we being unreasonable? DD is 13 and isn't happy as she loves her school. Although the school is lovely, she really needs more support and is unlikely to get any GCSEs if she stays here. Her current EHCP is great but she will likely be moving to a dyslexia school in the Cheltenham area.
She is excited to get a dog as we will be moving from a flat to a 4 bed house.
I have seen many threads showing how damaged kids have been when moving at this stage in their lives so I just wanted to see if the general consensus is that we are being unreasonable? She has just started Y9.
As far as I can see:
Pros-
Better school
Bigger house
Safer
Lots more outdoor activities we won't have to drive so far too (mainly mountain biking which she loves)

Cons:
New friends
Know very few people there but have some old friends we can rekindle things with.
New school

Our jobs are from home so no change there. We can afford to pay for train fares for her to travel back to London to see friends. I assume this will be quite often in the beginning.

Any advice? Should we suck it up and move at 16?

@missyB1 would you mind if I PM you? You sound like you have so great insight into the area and Id love to pick your brain 😅

@Nevermindthesquirrels looking back now, my parents were incredibly graceful about my shit attitude towards the move - I was a right dick to them at times about it

@ForkedIt I wouldn't beat yourself up, teens are like that at times. If you hadn't moved, I'm sure you would've found something else to wind them up about 😂. Out of interest, was it a move as big as London to Cheltenham?

@Nevermindthesquirrels
Yes pm me that’s fine.

@StoneofDestiny

Cheltenham is a nice town. But I'd live in one of the gorgeous villages that surround it. More going on in some of those villages than bigger towns.

Not if you're 13 though, especially as she is used to London. If the OP lives in Cheltenham or Worcester, her DD can meet mates by herself, go to the shops and do teenage things. If they're in a village, she'll need lifts everywhere, just at the age when she is longing for independence.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow as we drove into winchcombe she literally said 'we cannot live here' 😂😂😂 I didn't mind, I don't think I could either

[quote Nevermindthesquirrels]@MissLucyEyelesbarrow as we drove into winchcombe she literally said 'we cannot live here' 😂😂😂 I didn't mind, I don't think I could either[/quote]
😆

I spent my teens in a tiny village (Winchcombe is a metropolis by comparison!) in the arse-end of nowhere, and was so envious of my friends who lived in the town, so could go for a coffee or round to each other's houses under their own steam.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow I can't even imagine that. I've lived in London my whole life and used to spend summers in the countryside but stopped once I hit y9, the magic just stopped and it became so boring.
I'm sure for some kids it's perfectly fine. DD is an only child and I think it would be cruel. Aside from the dog we wouldn't be able to have any animals as we travel too much so it would be pointless.

@rhowton

I would move to Worcester if you are considering Bowbrook over Bredon. Bowbrook is the most wonderful school and I would move your daughter there in a heartbeat. I have lived in both, Worcester and Cheltenham, and they are both wonderful, with direct trains to london & Birmingham, both on the motorway, both have good access to airports etc. You can get a lot more for your money in Worcester for houses, although they are rising.

Or live in Peopleton itself. Then she can walk to school.

@Washeduponthebeach There's really nothing on the market there.
We have been chatting tonight as the Worcester comments threw a spanner in the works. I'm going to chat with Bowbrook about post 16 options that the kids take. I don't want to have to move again for that or make her travel really far at a point where she really does need to be independent. If we decide on Cheltenham, she can go to Bredon and stay there for sixth form or she can go to Hartpury College if she's still very keen on that type of course. I will definitely speak to Bowbrook though and take their advice.
The middle ground is Tewksbury but I've done a Google Street view tour and it seems so tiny. She could go to either from there.

I wouldn't go for Tewkesbury OP - it's lovely and certainly more to offer than villages in the area but from what you've posted so far, I think Cheltenham seems a better fit

The middle ground is Tewksbury but I've done a Google Street view tour and it seems so tiny. She could go to either from there

I lived on the Glos/Oxon border years ago, so know nothing useful about schools in your target area, but I would be wary of assuming that closer in miles = faster travel in rural areas. A journey that looks short on the map can take ages if you get stuck behind something slow, and can't overtake. Cheltenham is well-connected to dual carriageways and motorways. From memory, Tewkesbury isn't. Make sure you check actual travel time, not distance.

Are you paying for the place or expecting it to come through the EHCP?

@YoungGiftedPlump Paying. I don't have the strength or time to try to fight that.

I'll come back tomorrow as I'm exhausted but wanted to say don't count out getting a funded independent place. My DS is fully funded at an independent in Gloucester and I know of quite a few others so worth the fight!

As someone who grew up in Gloucestershire…Tewkesbury is not going to fun for a 13 year old.

I have many fond memories of Chelt! I don’t know anything about the current schools though sorry.

Have you checked Gloucester for smaller independent schools? Edward Jenner might be an option but it’s quite central so might not have the outdoorsy experience you seem to want? Cheltenham does seem like the obvious choice for you leaving London. Worcester is nice but can be a bit remote (IMO), Tewkesbury is lovely but the flooding can be a pain. Gloucester is nice and you could get a decent lot of house for your money but you might need to know which areas to look at.

@Kjr33 we actually have. Edward Jenner was too SEN for her needs and they didn't really have any girls. She is fine in mainstream, just needs a class of max 15. Wotton House was just a bit too quirky for us.

@Jagley that's really helpful to know. Thankfully we are in the position to fully fund it so I'm not sure I even want to go down that road. We have just finished our second appeal with our LA to make sure her plan is very specific. I'm sick of seeing tribunal bundles for now.

We moved from London to Cheltenham when I was 13, strangely enough. 30 + years ago now.....but was such a good move all round for the family. My parents are still there. I was an incredibly shy and nervous child, but starting a new secondary school built my resilience and pushed me out of my shell. I have nothing but great memories of that time. Cheltenham is a lovely place to grow up.

I'm round that way. Agree would be a total shock to move to a village after London. Cheltenham is lovely . Good luck!

Oh right, I don’t know either school first hand but I’m surprised it’s “more sen” than Bredon school tbh.

There is also alderman knight school in Tewkesbury.
Schools aside Cheltenham is nice and lots on offer for yourself and kids but check out how busy it gets on race week and during festivals though! Can be painful if you need to commute/school run etc but possibly not an issue if you want to join in.

Don't go to tewkesbury or Gloucester. The only nice bit is Gloucester Quays.

@Kjr33 I'm not sure more Sen was the right word. I think it was just different. Either way it wouldn't suit her at all. I have my reservations about Bredon too..no where is perfect. Except maybe Bowbrook but that just seems too far. They're a perfect mix of small and mainstream that she needs. I will see how she gets on there on the trial and if the journey is manageable.
Does anyone know what the traffic is like in the morning from around Hewlett Road to the train station? We will most likely rent there and the potential plan was: dropping her to the train station in the morning and she would get the school bus from Worcester parkway for the last 10 mins of the journey. We can pick her up or she can get the bus home in the PM from the station.

Last time I went to chelt near the station in rush hour it was awful but might be different post covid? And I’m guessing you might be on the earlier side to get her to the train anyway.