To think parents who do this are hypocrites

[Cazzovuoi]

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

I brought up my children, with no belief in Santa. Like the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy etc they knew it was a story. And were happy to play along. They got their pressies and decorations, advent calendars, mince pies etc. But I don’t lie to my children. Never have. They didn’t need magic. They had fun and love.

People scarred by finding out about Santa.🥴

Only on Mumsnet.

People scarred by finding out about Santa

You couldn't make it up

@calvados

Meanwhile the rest of Europe celebrates the birth of Christ on Christmas Day and the presents are received from the 3 Magi / kings on January 6th. Santa is a modern concept that the UK and US have engineered to fit in with a consumerist agenda.

Totally depends on the family. In Spain loads of families give main presents on Xmas eve after dinner and just one present or sweets for the Three Kings, so 'the rest of Europe' is a bit of a stretch.

Isn't it a bit mean-spirited that people in this thread are saying that nobody could possibly be upset by finding out that their parents lied to them about Santa, and that if anyone is upset then they are ridiculous and melodramatic?

There are plenty of people on this thread who have said that they found it upsetting (as well as plenty who took it in their stride). Just because someone reacted differently than you doesn't mean that they are wrong, or pathetic. Neither reaction is wrong, just different.

[quote TReXX]@ultra88

Please don't tell me how I felt, only I can know that.[/quote]
Do you know what. You're right. I was being unkind for no reason. I'm sorry

Literally don't know one child or adult who was in anyway emotionally scarred by this. Bizarre comment.

Totally agree with this.

Santa is a modern concept that the UK and US have engineered to fit in with a consumerist agenda.

I'm not sure why gifts from Santa are any more/less consumerist than gifts from the magi.

I didn't bring up my kids to believe in Father Christmas. They were just as excited about Christmas as any other children in the area. I was not comfortable with spinning a web of deceit for my kids. I also feel sorry for kids who believe in Santa but whose family have very little money for presents.

Literally don't know one child or adult who was in anyway emotionally scarred by this. Bizarre comment

Totally agree with this.

No skin in this game because it doesn't apply to me but what does this even mean? Posters keep making this statement like it's some sort of 'gavel moment'.

So those of you who literally don't know anyone who's been scarred by finding out Santa isn't real, does it then mean nobody ever has or that those who said they were must be wrong or something? Do you know everyone in the world? What about those who're here on this thread telling you that it affected them - do they not count right now as people?

Quite a bizarre argument to state 'I've never seen/known anyone do x, so it follows no one ever has or no one should claim they have.

@ultra88
Thank you, I really appreciate that

No skin in this game because it doesn't apply to me but what does this even mean?

Well firstly there are plenty of examples of things that people get worked up on here that don't seem to be replicated in conversations with people in real life. This is just one of them.

Secondly, I'm Irish and Santa is a much more established and widespread cultural figure even than in the U.K. Not only do I not know anyone personally who claims to have been 'scarred' by Santa, but I also don't know anyone of my generation who hasn't chosen to carry on the experience for their children.

Right, and that's you.

Do you not think some people may feel free to say something on an anonymous forum that they can't admit to in real life (and it's clear why that would be), therefore if a conversation has not happened irl, it doesn't automatically mean people aren't thinking it (and admitting to it online)?

Do you think there's a chance that the OP wouldn't be as open and bold to make the same statement to strangers or friends in real life?

Right, and that's you.

Well me and the vast majority of people who share my specific cultural background.

Do you not think some people may feel free to say something on an anonymous forum that they can't admit to in real life

Of course, but again the people coming from a similar cultural background to me wouldn't be indicating this via their actions either (ie they are replicating the same traditions they grew up with).

You asked me what I meant by it and I've told you. It's really very unusual for people of my nationality and generation to have this reaction. It's not something I've ever encountered apart from on here.

I didn't say no one in the world felt like that, but when I say personally I don't know any one who does (born out by their actions as well as what they say/don't say, that's the truth.

@FauxPsychic

Literally don't know one child or adult who was in anyway emotionally scarred by this. Bizarre comment

Totally agree with this.

No skin in this game because it doesn't apply to me but what does this even mean? Posters keep making this statement like it's some sort of 'gavel moment'.

So those of you who literally don't know anyone who's been scarred by finding out Santa isn't real, does it then mean nobody ever has or that those who said they were must be wrong or something? Do you know everyone in the world? What about those who're here on this thread telling you that it affected them - do they not count right now as people?

Quite a bizarre argument to state 'I've never seen/known anyone do x, so it follows no one ever has or no one should claim they have.

My reply was to a bizarre comment asking if a poster felt sad about the children who found out at 10 they had been lied to their whole lives. As if this is a general feeling among 10 year olds, which is just isn't. If it was, most of us would have met at least a handful of people in our lives who felt like this, or had childhood friends who went through this. There will always people who for whatever reason are traumatised by things that other people generally aren't. No one is saying the posters on here are lying or it's not possible to feel like that. I haven't met anyone who has given birth to sextuplets. It doesn't mean I don't believe there aren't women who have, just that it isn't exactly common, same as feeling you can never trust your parents again because they told you Santa existed and you found out at 10/11 he didn't.

Right, I get now where you're coming from @LaDamaDeElche

It's just that such statements have been posted here a few times as if it's meant to invalidate what other posters have said they felt. Even if it's only a handful of people, it doesn't invalidate what they felt.

@FauxPsychic

Right, I get now where you're coming from *@LaDamaDeElche*

It's just that such statements have been posted here a few times as if it's meant to invalidate what other posters have said they felt. Even if it's only a handful of people, it doesn't invalidate what they felt.

Totally get where you're coming from. I wasn't trying to invalidate anyone's personal experience. The poster I replied to posted one post in a general way about kids feeling like they'd been lied to their whole lives when they found out. If she'd written it in the first person saying she felt like that, I wouldn't have replied in the way I did, or at all.

I think it's a personal choice. Frankly I'd skip Santa if I could as it's just more rubbish in my house. The DC look at it all, and 5 min later it's forgotten about. There's plenty of other magic in the day.

What I hated was going to SIL's last year. She wants to skip Christmas altogether. Not a single decoration or Xmas food & her one DC got a single gift she wanted him to have (not what he wanted). Lunch was like a Sunday bbq with their friends, no excitement or celebration. I actually forgot it was Xmas day. Now that's magic free & very sad. We won't be going back.

Fyi I don't remember finding out about Santa. I think it I figured it out because I got loads while my friend got little & DM has form for spending. I wasn't scarred, just kept quiet so I still got Santa, and thought, bonus!

YABU. DH and I are Christians who teach our DS that we celebrate Christmas because it’s Jesus’ birthday - but we also tell him Father Christmas is real, and take DS to see him at a grotto every year - why wouldn’t we?

Santa is all about gifts and nothing else. It’s not the ‘magic of Christmas’ that the kids are excited about - it’s the presents they think he’s bringing. What’s magical about making up the source and lying that he’s watching their behaviour? Each to their own! You do you and don’t concern yourself with what other parents feel is appropriate for their families.

Well as this magical person doesn't actually pop round people's houses on Xmas Eve, then telling kids he does is lying.

We teach our kids not to lie, then go lie to them about Santa, Tooth Fairys, Easter Bunnies etc. It is hypocritical

It's not the same.

There's parents who tell their kids, and those that don't who don't attend church.

It's not just religious people that do this

I'm wondering if you see the possible hypocrisy of parents telling children to believe in Santa, who was, indeed, a real person, but who was sainted for his deep beliefs in, and following of, the same god you denigrate and say does not exist. To have a child believe in the first but not the second would be the height of hypocrisy, by your reckoning.

Personally, I think that Santa/Father Christmas is utterly harmless for children, no matter your religious feelings, but you evidently don't. I don't plan to give it another thought, myself.

@branchlight

I felt like an utter fool when I realised father Christmas was a lie. I still remember the sting of shame at being duped years later - so I don't see it the same way I'm afraid

This. Some kids find it really hard when they find out they have been lied to. If they really believe Santa is a real person its as painful as finding our your parents have practised any deliberate deceit on you. Kids hate being lied to.

JFC

Kids getting this upset over Santa are absolutely fucked come adulthood

Well, I felt upset and cheated when I found out there was no Father Christmas. It was embarrassing too because it had been discussed in class and only a handful of us insisted that Santa was real. I felt such a fool afterwards.