To think parents who do this are hypocrites

[Cazzovuoi]

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

I remember being so upset when I found out that Santa wasn't real. Totally embarrassed that I'd been tricked and also completely bewildered as to why my parents would go all out on this bizarre lie! And to make it worse my mum saw how upset we were and then decided to take it back and try to say that he was real after all

For my kids, I've tried really hard to establish the gap between make believe and lies. They love Christmas and Santa, but they understand that he is like fairies, monsters or Paw Patrol characters. They know that none of them are real, but really enjoy making believe. Christmas is very much magical for them without a literal belief in Santa.

I dislike the disparity “ oh Santa brought me XXXX” and another child got only “X” ? What must that other child think? But there’s really no way of controlling this - so may as well forget about it
This has been raised a few times, it's interesting.
Do children feel more let down because Santa has left their friends more/bigger toys, or because their parents provided less than than their friends parents did?

YABVU. Religion is a belief. Santa is a lie. A benign lie that many parents knowingly go trough a lot of deceit to keep their children believing in. When my children were small I was always non-committal about the existence of Santa. I don't like lying to them. I am the same about tooth fairies, etc. I still remember when I first learned about the non existence of Father Christmas . It was a sad moment

Well nothing actually exists until you look at it😁.

But I really think you need to chill out, were you brought up in a very religious household and felt lied to by your parents esp about the Santa part or are you the type to generally just be so judgemental and angry about others choices? Either way I think focusing any of it on a guy in a red (or green) suit is probably misplaced tbh.

Maybe it’s good for kids to learn that adults lie to them. Christ wasn’t born on December 25th, if he was born at all. He wasn’t British. He wasn’t white. Angels aren’t real. Then there’s Santa who is actually God really watching that kids have been good. The whole thing is psychotic but huge amounts of fun if you don’t take it too seriously and don’t get into debt.

I think what makes Xmas special is spending it with the people you love, and exchanging gifts, whether that’s from ‘Santa’ or between the family. My parents told us from a very young age that Santa didn’t exist, but I honestly don’t think back and feel I was deprived at all. I still have very magical memories of Christmas.

5zeds But Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th either be… the date was used as it lined up with events on the pagan calendar…. Besides I am agnostic, while I believe he existed I don’t think he was a literal son of god and it was meant in the way that we are all children of god… his own words got taken out of context 200 years after he died and we suddenly have a new religion

I did the whole Santa thing when kids were little. When DS1 reached 7 he asked me if I was actually the one filling the stocking and I told him the truth! Since then he seems to have forgotton the truth and is back believing (he's 10), so I continue to go along with it!! Maybe he thinks he won't get any presents if he doesn't believe!! DS2 (now 7) has never asked for the truth, so we continue to let him think Santa is real! It's fun and magical and stockings are good fun aren't they!?

To be honest, I think they figure it out and then just play along past a certain age anyway!! I'm 42 and my mum never told me Santa wasn't real, she died with the secret this year!! Though clearly I had figured it all out for myself by age 7/8!! (sorry mum!)

(ps. When I was little, I'd pray to God and Santa at the same time whenever I needed or wanted something!!..think I was hedging my bets!! (Never got anything I asked for though!! So don't think either of them heard me, or they were busy or something!!))

Completely disagree. I go to church (or I did before covid, then getting pregnant during covid, then breaking my ankle, which is my current situation), but will be doing the Santa stuff for my LO.

Meanwhile the rest of Europe celebrates the birth of Christ on Christmas Day and the presents are received from the 3 Magi / kings on January 6th. Santa is a modern concept that the UK and US have engineered to fit in with a consumerist agenda.

We don’t celebrate the birth of Christ or the Three Kings but love Christmas - family, parties, presents, good food and drink. Father Christmas/ Santa is a big part of it.

"with love fish for prizes" @Stompythedinosaur what is a love fish?

I felt like an utter fool when I realised father Christmas was a lie. I still remember the sting of shame at being duped years later - so I don't see it the same way I'm afraid

This. Some kids find it really hard when they find out they have been lied to. If they really believe Santa is a real person its as painful as finding our your parents have practised any deliberate deceit on you. Kids hate being lied to.

Most religions have the idea of celebrating the seasons. Most early patriarchal religions have some sort of sacrificial figure who gives his life for the people. Christianity is one of the few religions where a child became a focus and even then Hillel was a Jewish teacher who informed Judaism and Christianity.

So we celebrate in Northern Europe the equinox and with German traditions like Christmas Trees, candles etc. And, like the Turkish St Nicholas, a tradition of giving and celebrating.

This has been raised a few times, it's interesting.
Do children feel more let down because Santa has left their friends more/bigger toys, or because their parents provided less than than their friends parents did?

Depends if the child likes the present or not. It can be a mountain of presents and they will feel let down if its not what they were expecting.

@tabulahrasa

“I teach my child that no matter what she can always trust that everything I tell her is 100% true.”

Really? Everything?

So you told them that the macaroni necklace they made isn’t in fact delightful, because it’s made from pasta and you wouldn’t actually wear it?

That they don’t understand knock knock jokes yet, so they messed up the ending and the joke they told isn’t funny?

That their first attempts at handwriting aren’t in fact well done, but objectively not very good as writing goes?

A slight derail perhaps, but I thought that this was an interesting point. There are lots of ways you can encourage children with thing like this without actually lying to them.

"I love that you've made me a pasta necklace, thank you so much! I'm going to put it on my bedside table and when I see it it will make me smile!"

"Oooh are you in the mood for jokes? Let's get that joke book from your room and we'll do some together."

"Wow, I can see that you've worked really hard on this handwriting! Every time you practise you get neater and neater."

Kids often like it when you just describe what they're doing in an excited/upbeat tone: "You're drawing a dinosaur!"

It's not just a choice between lying and saying that everything the child does is objectively amazing, and coldly critiquing everything based on an adult standard.

Lol.

DH and I are atheists. I was against lying to the kids about Santa for a lot of reasons but partly because I disliked the similarity to religion.

However DH (slightly to my surprise) feels that Santa is part of the magic of childhood. So I have settled for being cryptic and evasive with the DCs on the subject.

People in general are hypocritical...so many examples out there

[quote TReXX]@Takemetothe90s
Why? That's exactly what it felt like.

Excuse me for being articulate.[/quote]
I think you mean melodramatic

I can't believe people get so worked up about Santa TBH

In our family we have good lies and bad lies. Bad lies are not nice because they can hurt someone, good lies help make people happy.
Santa is a good lie - I still remember the excitement of waking up to that sack of presents and I wouldn't deny that magic to my kids. Unless they find out at a young age that santa doesn't exist then I'm sure they'll play along in the game of "I know that you know and you know that I know you know but we're going to continue as everyone loves presents!"
I don't resent my parents for lying about santa. I resent them for lying about what the icecream van music meant..

@ultra88

Please don't tell me how I felt, only I can know that.

@EatYourVegetables

Do you feel sad for the kids who learn at the age of 10 or so that they’ve been lied to their entire lives?

Literally don't know one child or adult who was in anyway emotionally scarred by this. Bizarre comment.

I literally cannot remember finding out that Santa wasn’t real. So it couldn’t have been that scarring.