If you were/are wealthy, how much would/do you help your adult children?

[ohcrumbss]

I often see celebrities talking about how they won't leave an inheritance for their children.

Recently I have seen an article from Zoe Ball's son stating he has been cut off financially and is working to make his own money.

Yet in the real world I know of a few adult children of successful lawyers and entrepreneurs who have houses and holidays paid for by their parents and are given sizeable allowances etc.

I just wondered if you were/are in that position, what would you do?

I would put a free roof over her head and allow her the space to work and study secure in the knowledge that she would never be homeless but my adult daughter is a grafter and will work

So I once worked with this fabulous women. She was from a very wealthy, aristocratic, background. She had had an expensive education- as had her siblings. They had each had an impressive London flat bought for them, and they did get an allowance. But there was also very much an expectation that they would work. Obviously the brother was also due to inherit the land and title.

I don't know what their parents would have done if they weren't hard-working and interesting people- but they were. My colleague used her privilege to learn interesting skills and become good at them. I'm not going to say what, but she studied hard in several professional careers and did well.

Honestly, so did all her friends. Yes, I found them annoying because they were all so privileged, posh, and oxbridgy. But they were also all dedicated, humble (in a sheltered way- they didn't really know they were rich), and hard-working. Colleague was in work from 7 every day in her crappy old car (because why would you buy a new one if the old one isn't broken?), having already done Pilates.

I suspect that's how the successful, 'old money' aristocracy survive: by being very good at it, being sorted, and not frittering money away uselessly.

There is a difference between comfortable and super wealthy. For those in the latter camp, their children’s lives will be so far removed from the norm that I think it’s unfair to cut them off. If I was in that position, I’d definitely get them sorted with houses, treat them to nice holidays etc.

I’d hope I’d be in a position when mine are adults to pay for weddings, treats, the odd holidays etc as well as helping with deposits. I would never however remortgage the house for them or put my own financial security at risk.

We are definitely not wealthy but comfortable. Our DD will have money for her education for as long as she wants to stay in it (might get her to take out a student loan/part time job to foster some independence) We will be handing over a tiny property portfolio (nowhere near enough income to not work but will make life more comfortable) at some point and hopefully a deposit for her own house and help with wedding etc.

Everything else is on her. Neither of us are expecting inheritances and she won’t get any money from anyone except us. But yes very much a live off income but don’t touch the capital attitude over here. We are 2nd generation immigrants neither of our families have much so trying to build a generational wealth mindset is important to us.

I want her to have the ability to choose to do something she loves instead of choosing a career based on the renumeration it offers. But I also want her to know how to make savvy choices and take the long view in terms of investing for her future and her own children (if she chooses to have some). I think this would have been a lot harder for us if we had more than 1 child though.