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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy a house with my partner whose still married?

274 replies

onedaymaybeone · 10/10/2021 09:17

Hi,

I would like some advice please. I'm divorced and have been renting since. I would like to buy a house but cannot raise enough mortgage to buy in the area I live in now and where DP go to school. I would be £35k short on the amount I need to buy in the area. I know I can afford the mortgage repayments as it would be half my rent but I don't earn enough in my own to get the full loan amount required.

My partner has offered to come in on a joint mortgage with me to make up the difference. We would be joint tenants and he would be paying no deposit and would 'own' a minimal percentage of the house. The reason being he is still paying for his previous property which he is not living in whilst he fights for custody of his daughter through court. Due to the complicated nature of the case he can't get divorced yet.

What are people's thoughts on doing this?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 10/10/2021 09:18

No way I’d do that.

FingersofFish · 10/10/2021 09:19

Nope

BlueSuffragette · 10/10/2021 09:19

No way. Be very careful.

Nightbringer · 10/10/2021 09:19

Not a chance.

MiddleParking · 10/10/2021 09:19

Don’t touch that with a bargepole.

WayneBruce · 10/10/2021 09:20

Not while he's still married and not divorced.

DressBitch · 10/10/2021 09:20

No no no no no no

(I haven't read more than the title yet, but wanted to get that in there)

Rainbowheart1 · 10/10/2021 09:20

No, she would be entitled to half his share, putting you back to square one. If it builds equity, that’s hers too, it’s a marital asset as they are still married

MackenCheese · 10/10/2021 09:20

Sounds far too complicated to me. Your partner doesn't sound like he's "yours" yet, so I wouldn't advise getting financially tied up with him no matter how tempting it may be at the moment.

pelosi · 10/10/2021 09:20

No way.

beela · 10/10/2021 09:21

Nope.

Can he even be on two mortgages at once?

Either way, don't do it.

violetbunny · 10/10/2021 09:21

Nooooooo don't do it

NailsNeedDoing · 10/10/2021 09:21

You would be crazy to do this before his divorce and financial settlement are finalised.

CagneyNYPD1 · 10/10/2021 09:21

It would be a big no from me.

SoniaFouler · 10/10/2021 09:21

Haven’t you ever heard the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater?” Do not buy properly with this man.

WayneBruce · 10/10/2021 09:21

Even if he was divorced, I wouldnt have him on my mortgage without contributing. Could he be a guaranteer?

Hankunamatata · 10/10/2021 09:21

You need to get indepent legal advice without him being there. Wonder if it would work if he wasnt named in the deeds etc

Prettyconfused · 10/10/2021 09:21

Last thing you want is your new house being considered part of your partner’s marriage assets. Best case, it’ll make things even more complicated for him. And that’s best case.

NoSquirrels · 10/10/2021 09:22

Wait for him to get divorced.

ComDummings · 10/10/2021 09:22

You need proper legal advice. There’s no way in hell I’d buy a house with someone who was still married. If he died, even if you’re joint tenants, she could take you to court to get his half of the house and leave you with hefty legal bills.

NeverTheHootenanny · 10/10/2021 09:22

I think if you’re seriously considering this you need to get some proper legal advice on what the risks are, specifically what she could claim in the divorce, and how to protect yourself best.
I’d be very wary of getting into this before his divorce goes through but do understand why you would want to get back on the property ladder rather than renting.

ComDummings · 10/10/2021 09:22

@Prettyconfused

Last thing you want is your new house being considered part of your partner’s marriage assets. Best case, it’ll make things even more complicated for him. And that’s best case.
This also^
Whatthechicken · 10/10/2021 09:23

I think because he’s not yet divorced, it would be considered a marital asset.

Wagglerock · 10/10/2021 09:23

Nope nope nope

SpangoDweller · 10/10/2021 09:23

Not a chance. When I bought a house I had to sign something at the solicitors’ office to confirm I wasn’t married (was 22 so didn’t give it much thought - presumably to confirm no one else would have a right to live there?) so it would be very legally tricky to actually do. Get legal advice if you’re determined.