My parents split when I was a teen and are divorced.
I am a single parent of a 7yo DC who has some medical needs. I have residency and that means I do 100% of everything, DC goes to their dad EOW but I do all appointments, all school stuff, all parties and playdates. Everything to do with actual parenting is 100% my problem. Unless it’s fun or makes him look good ExH does nothing – DC is badly behaved it’s my fault, they get a certificate at school or their out of school activities or they get praised in the shop for being polite it’s all down to ExH and nothing to do with me (he’s even told me before now that I should step aside and let him and his mum or whichever girl he’s got on the go at the time go to all sports days and school plays because he doesn’t see them much).
I also work 25 hours a week.
One of my DPs is also very demanding of my time. Any phonecall they need to make, they ask me to do it, any bit of DIY they ask me, any shopping they send me the money and I have to do it.
I don’t sleep. I have PTSD and some nights I just can’t sleep. I am exhausted. I need to rest. I sleep better when my brain has chance to rest and there’s not too many pressures on my time.
DP is perfectly capable of doing all the things they ask me to do – they’re early 60s but fit and healthy with no medical problems they just won’t. If I refuse they tell me I’m selfish as I only work part time. If I refuse and don’t do it then they will leave bills unpaid if it involves a phonecall, have gone days without food as they refuse to set foot in a shop, DIY goes left undone.
This is nothing to do with covid, it’s always been the way, since I split with ExH when my DC was a toddler.
And I am done. I just want to have my days off for myself, cook my DC a nice meal or be able to take them to an out of school activity without a text or email from my DP demanding I go over right this second as they have a phonecall that “can’t wait”.
My other DP is pretty independent (and slightly older) happy to see me when I am free and will help me occasionally doing school runs or cooking me meals on my working days so I can focus on spending a bit of time with my DC before they go to sleep.
My friends thinks I should tell awkward DP that I am going up to full time working and will be unavailable to help them and it’s very tempting but I’m worried I’ll regret it when DP gets older and needs that help.
So WIBU to lie?
Vote;
YABU - Don't lie
YANBU - Lie and enjoy the extra time