To feel mentally unable to isolate?

[beewritesx]

Disclaimer: I'm not fully vaccinated because I'm worried about irregularity of my periods.

My Dad has terminal cancer and has been given days/weeks. We've always been close so I'm absolutely devastated. He had a Covid test before going to the hospital and it's basically inconclusive (a weak result) but they're treating it as a positive case - even though he has NO symptoms and neither does anyone in the household. My Mum was contacted by Track & Trace and she forgot to mention my name when asked who she has been in contact with.

It's been three days since seeing my Dad and I've taken three LFT tests - all negative. No friends or family who've had contact with Dad in these past few weeks have had any symptoms of Covid and the hospital have confirmed my Dad has no symptoms, despite being terminally ill!

I know the law requires me to isolate for ten days, but to be blunt, I don't know if my mental health can take it right now. My DS can be very challenging and he needs a lot of fresh air and stimulation. I've told my friends the situation and they're happy to see me as they're fully vaccinates, anyway. DH is telling me that rules are rules and I need to follow them. So I don't know what to do!?

Op, there's a fairly straightforward way out of this.

1. Go to a walk in and get second jabbed today. This then won't kick in for a couple of weeks, but you don't know how long your dad has, it might be longer than you think.
2. Get a PCR test for yourself today, book it in for 2 hours time, drive through or walk-in and get confirmation you do/don't have covid.

All these actions can be taken immediately, and then avoid the LFT issue.

Hospitals are full of covid by the way, my daughter picked it up there recently, the A and E was full of people sitting and coughing packed in for many many hours and procedures on wards are pretty shoddy, I felt.

Sorry to hear about your dad, it must be a really difficult time for you, and this is all so emotionally charged, but I would take action today to resolve your own immunity/status, and then worry about what to do from that point on.

I say do what you've got to do to get through this OP. I'm so sorry about your dad. It is up to you and you only when and if you decide to get vaccinated. I don't think MN was the right place for this. I really am sending my love. X

If the results from both tests are negative, I'll stop isolating - as even the hospital said they'd disregard the first results.

I have told friends about the situation and if they choose to see me, regardless, then it's their choice!

Also, I want to see my Dad before he dies!

Legally, you're under no obligation to.

There is no legal obligation to isolate if you haven't been contacted.

Morally - well that's your call. I'd say you have a moral obligation to see you father in his dying days.

I have told friends about the situation and if they choose to see me, regardless, then it's their choice!

Your are abdicating your responsibility. Will the people they subsequently see have the same choice?

@OnwardsAndSideways1

Op, there's a fairly straightforward way out of this.

1. Go to a walk in and get second jabbed today. This then won't kick in for a couple of weeks, but you don't know how long your dad has, it might be longer than you think.
2. Get a PCR test for yourself today, book it in for 2 hours time, drive through or walk-in and get confirmation you do/don't have covid.

All these actions can be taken immediately, and then avoid the LFT issue.

Hospitals are full of covid by the way, my daughter picked it up there recently, the A and E was full of people sitting and coughing packed in for many many hours and procedures on wards are pretty shoddy, I felt.

Sorry to hear about your dad, it must be a really difficult time for you, and this is all so emotionally charged, but I would take action today to resolve your own immunity/status, and then worry about what to do from that point on.

This.

If you get vaccinated today it might not make a difference, but if your DF is still in hospital in a couple of weeks it might make a massive difference. Suppose he contracts Covid in 2 weeks time and you have to isolate then. It’s not worth the risk.

Isolating is difficult and can be very challenging, but I think you have an ethical duty to still to the rules.

I think it sounds like you understandably really don't want to isolate, it's a stretch to think that you can't though.

Fingers crossed for a negative result. I’m so sorry that you are going through this and I really hope that you get to see your dad. While waiting can you video call him? I know it’s not the same but it’s something we try to do for our patients whose loved ones can’t be there for whatever reason.

Very, very sorry about your dad, that’s really tough. You know you have to consider other vulnerable people in hospital though and isolate, at least until your dad has a definitive result. Your husband is right.

Auntycorruption

There is no legal obligation to isolate if you haven't been contacted.

Morally - well that's your call. I'd say you have a moral obligation to see you father in his dying days.“

Difficult, because isn’t there also an obligation to consider other very vulnerable patients?

Just get the vaccine.
Right now, for some reason, you’re putting your period schedule above everything else…
Sorry to hear about your dad but in all honestly - I wouldn’t care about the chance irregular periods if I was in your position.

I'm not fully vaccinated because I'm worried about irregularity of my periods.

For the first time since the started eighteen years ago for the last year my periods have finally been normal, the last two have been late post-jabs. It was a blow, yes, but less of a problem than being ventilated, being hugely unwell, or god forbid, getting anyone else ill. Stop being so selfish.

I think you do know what you should do but dont want to. Its hard, but you should follow the rules.

This is very sad, but was an entirely likely scenario. People are getting Covid left right and centre, and you've known for a while now that if you didn't get that second jab, you'd have to self isolate if pinged.

Whatever you do (and you shouldn't not be seeing your friends -that's very wrong imo) hey yourself jabbed asap. If your dad lasts king enough (fingers crossed!!) then bring double jabbed may be the difference between seeing him or not. Even if he doesn't sadly last long enough for the second jab to matter, you don't want to be in a position of possibly missing his funeral. No period is worth this!

As it is for now, if he's positive you'd can't see him anyway. If it's negative you no longer need to self isolate. But if it's positive, or whilst you wait, in your really need to self isolate - this is what you chose by not having the second jab.

The test today came back negative!

Excellent! Now you can go get your second vaccine so you’re not caught like this again.

That's great news, OP. Hope that you can now spend some very important time with your dad without having to worry about covid.

It might be worth considering whether it's worth getting the second jab in case a similar situation arises again, but maybe that's one to think about tomorrow!

I wouldn't isolate.

Great news about his test. So sorry he's so unwell OP.

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

I thought close contacts no longer needed to isolate legally?

That's only if they are fully vaccinated or under age 18

I'm not fully vaccinated because I'm worried about irregularity of my periods

Hmmmm. Period irregularities or seeing my dying father. I know what I'd be choosing (and it is a choice) and I'd be hot-footing it to a walk-in as quickly as I humanly could.

Actions (or rather poorly considered inactions) have consequences op, you chose to not have the vaccine, knowing for quite some time that this could be a situation you could be facing.

@beewritesx

The test today came back negative!

That’s great. None of you need to isolate now. Spend that time with your dad and then get vaccinated so this doesn’t happen again

@TerribleZebra

Your dad must have had a positive PCR for test and trace to be involved. You have a moral obligation to self isolate if you know you have been in contact with a positive case. I've just had covid and I'm double jabbed. I wasn't that ill but 4 weeks later I'm still exhausted and can't smell or taste anything. I tested negative on LFTs but positive on a PCR. I was horrified at the thought I could have given it to other people when I was asymptomatic. Grow up and recognise your choices have consequences.

This. I don't think I could cope with another one. I cried and cried in December / January time and thought 'I can't do it again this is going to break me' but I did -and you will too. Imagine not doing it -can you live with yourself.

Unfortunately, the hospital have put a stop to any more visitors. He's already seen my Mum, my two aunties (his sisters), and his best friend. I understand their decision, but it doesn't make it any easier.