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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel mentally unable to isolate?

80 replies

beewritesx · 08/10/2021 08:46

Disclaimer: I'm not fully vaccinated because I'm worried about irregularity of my periods.

My Dad has terminal cancer and has been given days/weeks. We've always been close so I'm absolutely devastated. He had a Covid test before going to the hospital and it's basically inconclusive (a weak result) but they're treating it as a positive case - even though he has NO symptoms and neither does anyone in the household. My Mum was contacted by Track & Trace and she forgot to mention my name when asked who she has been in contact with.

It's been three days since seeing my Dad and I've taken three LFT tests - all negative. No friends or family who've had contact with Dad in these past few weeks have had any symptoms of Covid and the hospital have confirmed my Dad has no symptoms, despite being terminally ill!

I know the law requires me to isolate for ten days, but to be blunt, I don't know if my mental health can take it right now. My DS can be very challenging and he needs a lot of fresh air and stimulation. I've told my friends the situation and they're happy to see me as they're fully vaccinates, anyway. DH is telling me that rules are rules and I need to follow them. So I don't know what to do!?

OP posts:
Generallystruggling · 08/10/2021 09:33

Just get vaccinated. I’d rather have irregular periods than all of this hassle, if you were vaccinated it would be no issue at all. They need to repeat your Dad’s PCR though to clear it up for you all.

onelittlefrog · 08/10/2021 09:34

Follow the rules. Unfortunately you are not a special case althoughI know it's hard.

If everyone who struggled just didn't isolate then Covid would be even more widespread than it already is and more people would be dying.

It's only 10 days. You can do it.

ittakes2 · 08/10/2021 09:35

If track and trace have called you its a positive result and you need to isolate. Lateral flows don't always work especially when someone has just become infected. Get a PCR.
Ignore the person who said you don't legally need to isolate - the law is very clear that only people who have had two vaccines or children under 18 (and I think there is a 3rd category) no longer need to isolate after coming into contact.

PurpleDaisies · 08/10/2021 09:35

@ittakes2

If track and trace have called you its a positive result and you need to isolate. Lateral flows don't always work especially when someone has just become infected. Get a PCR. Ignore the person who said you don't legally need to isolate - the law is very clear that only people who have had two vaccines or children under 18 (and I think there is a 3rd category) no longer need to isolate after coming into contact.
She hasn’t bern contacted by test and trace. That’s when you legally are obligated to self isolate
Tal45 · 08/10/2021 09:36

Just isolate until the next result come through and you know for sure.

Quartz2208 · 08/10/2021 09:36

Get a PCR test for yourself today and take it from there you can’t do anything without that

If you were vaccinated it would be the first thing to do anyway. You simply can’t think about visiting him if allowed without it

onelittlefrog · 08/10/2021 09:36

Also yes, get the vaccine.

Period-related concerns is a stupid reason not to get it.

Tal45 · 08/10/2021 09:37

Then get vaccinated and you won't have all these problems.

Original poster
beewritesx · 08/10/2021 09:38

@girlmom21

Sorry, I should clarify. I don't what to do if my father tests negative today as the nurse said that if it's the case, they'll disregard the first results in regard to visitors, etc., as he's shown no symptoms of Covid and and the first results were so weak! If that's the case, I'm unsure whether I still have to isolate if Track & Trace don't contact DM.

OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 08/10/2021 09:39

Stop making excuses and get the vaccine. If your dad tests positive they won’t let you see him anyway. We’ve all had to isolate at some point even with our mental health suffering. Don’t be that person that pretends it’s ok and ignores it.

Original poster
beewritesx · 08/10/2021 09:42

@CharlotteRose90 The rules are different when a patient is terminal. He has had visitors as he only has days or weeks!

OP posts:
saraclara · 08/10/2021 09:43

OP's father is dying. Save the vaccination lectures for another time, FFS.

What's the matter with people?

PurpleDaisies · 08/10/2021 09:44

Even if the op got vaccinated today, that wouldn’t influence the situation now.

AlexaShutUp · 08/10/2021 09:45

You keep talking about a weak result, OP, but I'm not sure how anyone would know this about a pcr test. The results are simply positive, negative or could not be read.

Are you talking about a very weak LTF result? My dd's ltfs were so weak that they were barely visible at all but her pcr was positive. My own ltf tests were negative despite a positive pcr.

If your mum was contacted by test and trace, your dad must surely have had a positive pcr at some stage. Are you maybe getting this confused with the weak ltf?

AlexaShutUp · 08/10/2021 09:47

I agree, the vaccination lectures are pointless at this stage. And regardless of what the law says, I think people are pretty irresponsible to go round spreading covid even when they have been double jabbed. I didn't have to isolate when my dd tested positive, but it was common sense to do so.

Peoniesandpeaches · 08/10/2021 09:50

@namechange30455

I'm sorry about your dad OP. You do need to isolate though unfortunately.

A weak positive result is still a positive, not "basically inconclusive".

You have made the choice not to get the vaccine, due to concerns that don't have an evidence base. That's on you I'm afraid.

You don't want to follow the rules because your DS is "challenging". Does he have SEN? Why can't DH take him out?

Sorry but I agree
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 08/10/2021 09:52

I thought close contacts no longer needed to isolate legally?

Bloodymess · 08/10/2021 09:54

Op you need to isolate. You know that T&T have only not contacted you because your mother made a mistake and has not then corrected that. If she had then you would have the legal obligation. You have a DH who can help with DS. Unfortunately lots of people have suffered from mental illness exacerbated by Covid- maybe a call to GP?

(Subject to any relaxation due to terminal illness).

AlexaShutUp · 08/10/2021 09:54

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

I thought close contacts no longer needed to isolate legally?
The legal position is different for vaccinated and unvaccinated people. The moral one isn't in my opinion, but that's a different matter.
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 08/10/2021 09:54

Oh, I see, because you're not double jabbed. Maybe reconsider the pros and cons of that second jab?

PurpleDaisies · 08/10/2021 09:54

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

I thought close contacts no longer needed to isolate legally?
Contacts have never had to legally isolate unless they live in the same household or have been informed by test and trace.

The rules have changed for under 18 and 6 months and double vaccinated plus 14 days.

NannyOggsward · 08/10/2021 09:55

I wouldn’t, but then I would never PCR test again. It’s pointless at this stage.

girlmom21 · 08/10/2021 10:08

[quote beewritesx]@girlmom21

Sorry, I should clarify. I don't what to do if my father tests negative today as the nurse said that if it's the case, they'll disregard the first results in regard to visitors, etc., as he's shown no symptoms of Covid and and the first results were so weak! If that's the case, I'm unsure whether I still have to isolate if Track & Trace don't contact DM.[/quote]
If he tests negative there's no reason to isolate

Athrawes · 08/10/2021 10:08

Get vaccinated

CharlotteRose90 · 08/10/2021 10:10

@Bloodymess

Op you need to isolate. You know that T&T have only not contacted you because your mother made a mistake and has not then corrected that. If she had then you would have the legal obligation. You have a DH who can help with DS. Unfortunately lots of people have suffered from mental illness exacerbated by Covid- maybe a call to GP?

(Subject to any relaxation due to terminal illness).

This.

Please stop making excuses. Your dad had a weak positive and you aren’t listening. Spend the days at home and isolate. Do not take it into a hospital and infect however many other ill patients. Damn right selfish.