to want him to just die?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Some of you will know my history but for those that dont...

horrifically abusive ex, attempted murder of me that didnt get to court thanks to a police fuck up. Had a trigger moment today that has left me in pieces. Spoke to a "friend" who said that I shoudlnt wish him dead as that is horrible thing to wish on anyone.

AIBU.

Your friend sounds very sanctimonious.

I have a violently abusive ex. If we got thrown overboard from the Titanic, I'd kick him off the lifeboat to make room for my suitcase. Wouldn't even think twice.

OP, I understand, people who are my true friends say they’re glad my late husband is dead and can’t hurt me anymore, I agree, he was an asshole. I hope you get your wish 🌸

Do you want him to drown in a pit of diseased goat vomit? Or maybe you want to drill small holes in his bones and stuff them with rancid pork, stitch him up then watch him die slowly and painfully as poison spreads through his body?

Do you have a soundproof basement @PyongyangKipperbang? Hit me up with a DM, I can makes your dream come true.😉

Trauma is horrible and I'm sorry. I wish he was dead on your behalf. Here's my pin for his voodoo doll.

There are lots of horrible and heinous and cruel people in the world, and it would be better for them to suffer great punishments, and even to die, as they are not worthy of anything.

Shed obviously someone who has never lived in fear of her own life because of someone making an attempt to end it.
I'm not saying her views are excusable, because they're mpt, but I'd assume she hasn't given that much thought.

TBH I think its probably quite normal to wish someone dead who tried to kill you. I'm so sorry.

I always thought carving someone’s guts out with a spoon was quite a creative way to cause a very painful and slow death. Cant remember where I read it, but the idea was intriguing for the absolute bastards in life

The brilliant Alan Rickman in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. I believe the ‘with a spoon’ bit was ad libbed.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=lWOfVW1ZzeA

.....and yes, watched the maid. Had me crying through quite a few different points

YANBU op

@Sunshinealligator

.....and yes, watched the maid. Had me crying through quite a few different points

Sorry. I thought I actually clicked on the maid- because its about a woman who's escaped a DV situation it didn't enter my mind the the title didn't match the subject of your post.

Sorry. Please ignore me!

I had a work colleague who routinely expressed her wish that her abusive cohabiting soon-to-be-be EXH would have a freak workplace accident and fall into a wood chipper. (He was a tree lopper/arborist). It would be a gruesome death and still makes me smile 😃

I wonder if he’s still alive…

You are completely not unreasonable you are allowed to feel your feelings and they are valid xx

Perfectly reasonable thing to hope for.

Your other friend might have been concerned about "karmic" retribution (totally not what it really means but anyway) wherein you get back the bad luck you wish on someone else - but in all honesty it often WOULD be better if these abusive bastards would just drop dead.

I have a group of MN friends on FB, many of whom have abusive bastard exes - we all frequently wish they would drop dead because they're all so AWFUL. Maybe group sharing the wish helps reduce the "karmic" retribution? Not that there is such a thing.

Hope you're feeling better now. x

It's ok, we don't actually have the thought police in this country.
As for karma, this is nothing less than he deserves for being murderous to you in the first place. He started it.
Does your patio need re-laying? MN has a hit squad who are great at that.

I’ve wished a few people could die
For much less than what you mentioned
In fact the person I really hate mother died and while I wish his mother no ill, I’m glad that her passing caused him immense pain which I will settle for .

A friend of mine was shocked when I said this and said it wasn’t nice but 1. I never said I was nice
& 2 to as I can’t kill the fucker and get away with it I will take whatever causes him pain 😀

I'm new here so I apologise now for anything I get wrong. All abused women get these flashbacks, I know that I do, so if that's how you feel and it gives you some relief then go for it hate that bastard. But when this desperate feeling eases, as it does until the next time, please try to see this feeling as a way that the bastard still has some power over you. Never ever forget that you're a survivor, a very strong lady. It's ok to feel however you want to feel, no one (even a good friend) has the right to tell you how to feel. I know it may sound really cheesy but time does heal and each time you get through one of these desperate episodes you will emerge stronger for having gone through it. You feel needy at the moment and I have so much love and compassion in my heart for you and your situation so I'm sending you all of the love I can.You're loved and cared for by so many people but at times like this it doesn't feel like it, does it. You're also an inspiration to others sweetheart, always try to remember that. I think you're incredibly brave for sharing your experiences with us. Thank you so much.
Munchy
XXX

I fantasised about killing my DD's cockroach of an extremely abusive boyfriend. Stabbing him in the neck was a top method. I was in my early 60s, a widow and even shared with the police that I might enjoy prison as I could study inside. I would have missed my dogs though. In our case the universe listened and it had a fatal heart attack after taking a cocktail of drugs. I was positively gleeful on hearing the news and then for a fleeting second questioned my reaction but it was for a fleeting second. The world is a better place without it in it.

@fourquenelles - hope your DD was ok in the end?

@Munchysox - that's a lovely post. Sorry you went through abuse too. MN is a bit "hardarse" when it comes to posting style but you didn't do anything wrong, don't worry! And feel free to swear as much as you like.

Best way would be to strap him to a table and inserting a venflon (needle used replace fluids or remove blood through a vein) then set it to remove his blood one drop at a time. Allow the blood to collect in pint bottles and as they fill place them on a table that he can see. Then watch the fear in his eyes as he realises that with each drop of blood, with each bottle you place on that table in front of him, he is slowly dying and you have the power, the control. See how he likes the feeling. Bastard.
Munchy.
X

Oh yes, I get those feelings too. Thank you for making me feel so welcome ThumbWitchesAbroad. Wow what a cool name.

Munchy.
XXX

Thank you ThumbWitchAbroad. This was 5 years ago now and she is doing really well and has a toddler so her life has moved on. It took a while not least because he left her financially as well as emotionally ruined.

Sorry Witches oh for an edit button.

Your bad wishes do nothing to harm him so go right ahead and wish him ill.

I just hope that people who have acted badly get exactly what they deserve. Sometimes it gives me pleasure imagining what that might be. Your friend is being a bit silly.

Very briefly...I was sexually, emotionally and physically abused by my stepfather . He was a bully who terrorised everyone, but I was his pet project. By the time I started school I was so indoctrinated to feel useless and horrible so I automatically took on the "victim" role. So much so that I was bullied and picked on by most of the other children, even some of the teachers picked on me, I was such an easy target.I just wanted to be loved and thought that if I allowed my abuse to carry on eventually he would love me and the abuse would stop. I think my heroin addiction was a direct result of his treatment of me.

When my marriage broke down I'd been using for 40 years and had to go into rehab, it was that or die. I was there for 3 years and they allowed me to be me, to find power I'd never had, to find my voice,to find me. My true inner strength. I needed that 3 years. Most people were there for a year but I was so emotionally broken I couldn't cope with life, I was never given the skill to do so. You'd think that would feel really great but it was so painful, raking up memories and feelings that had been smothered by heroin.

Long story short, I got the chance to confront my abuser in my own way. When he started to become senile I helped my mum care for him and at the beginning he knew what was wrong with him and he was so scared. But for me it was the powerlessness that he felt, the same powerlessness that I'd felt all of those years, that was Karma at work.

Funnily enough after confronting him it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, an amazing feeling. YeaH I still have the flashbacks and I struggle at times with a fearfulnees that kinda takes me back, but it can't hurt me, it's just a feeling and I know it will pass. I'm 66 and although it's no longer as painful, the memories sometimes come back unexpectedly and catch me out. But that's just life isn't t?

Thanks for listening.

Munchy
XXX