My chikdren never get out toys and play with them

[ihaveaskformysanity]

I don't know if I am deluded, but I expected that my DC would find stuff to play with and you know, play independently occasionally. Without me getting stuff out or organising things for them. They just don't, never have. We have shelves with accessible bits, the IKEA drawers that are partly open and lots of children's books. They never touch a thing. When friends have come to play everything gets pulled out by the visitors, but is that excitement about different stuff or do all Dc ignore their own toys? I just feel I have to be the chef entertainment officer and make constant suggestions. I've tried go into x and find something to play with. Nope nothing. I have to get bits out, tip them out and engage them. Aibu it's hard work and when I hear people saying their Dc want to play all day I get envy, as mine will only play if I force them into it 😉 They love a scooter, but that's about it.

I wouldn't worry if they still take part in other forms of play - role play, imaginative, physical, creative/messy play.

I think the only way to make them learn how to play by themselves is to ignore them, or keep yourself busy.

If I let them mine would just play with me all day long.
Instead if I'm busy cooking or doing something they have to amuse themselves.

Ignore them.
They'll find something to keep themselves occupied.

@Porfre

I think the only way to make them learn how to play by themselves is to ignore them, or keep yourself busy.

If I let them mine would just play with me all day long.
Instead if I'm busy cooking or doing something they have to amuse themselves.

Ignore them.
They'll find something to keep themselves occupied.

That might work with a 5 year old, I couldn't do that with my 2 year old, it just wouldn't be safe.

Ignore them.
They'll find something to keep themselves occupied.
Just make sure the haven't swiped the scissors and are giving each other hair cuts 🤦‍♀️

@ihaveaskformysanity

Ages 5 and 2, a boy and a girl. I think I must of gone wrong somewhere.

I don’t think you’ve gone wrong. My daughter was rubbish at playing independently. It was draining to be honest.

Yes I agree it is personality. Dd1 rarely 'played' with toys, she would do lego and puzzles but not a lot of just playing. Dd2 would always go off and play, with teddies, animals, cars, dolls anything really she would always find something.

They are older now 10&8 and dd1 probably plays more now than she ever has but is still more likely to be building lego, doing a puzzle, drawing, stroking the cat or reading than an actual game with some toys.

Dd1 would watch TV all day if I let her - literally anything (she loves all the daytime tv type programmes). Dd2 will go off and find something to do if something she doesn't like is on which would be fairly often. We have always had set times when the TV is on or off, eg whne cooking dinner TV would be on.

My daughter was like this and very rarely played with toys. She would rather do arts and crafts. Give her a pair of scissors and a price of paper and she would be very happy. Even at 2-3 she would use my kitchen scissors. Drawing was another favourite and walks outside or to the park.

Every child is different.

I don't think TV is necessarily a terrible thing. I tend to put it on when my 2 and 5 year olds get home from school/nursery, to let them chill a bit (and give my older 2 chidren peace to do their homework in the kitchen while I cook). After about an hour they tend to get bored with the cartoons and drift through to play in the kitchen, bedroom or garden. Then I sneakily turn the TV off and usually no-one notices.

I have a friend who never lets her 3 year old child watch any TV, and whenever we see her, she sits on her mother's lap and will only play if her mother plays too. Okay, I agree that children shouldn't watch TV all the time, but I don't think TV is what makes children unable to entertain themselves.