What are your opinions on Be Kind?

[Lordwhatitis]

I feel like it was something that was started with good intentions that people now use with an alternative agenda.

I saw on Instagram this morning that a local restaurant had screenshotted a review someone left on their Facebook account. The review itself was not nice and included an uncalled for insult. The post included the restaurants reply telling her not to come back. The caption to the post was a lengthy one about being kind, which I agree with and would have thought it was the right way to respond but they included the persons name and profile picture in the post.

I think they could have gotten the same point across (even better) if this was hidden. I’m sure they did it on purpose.

I read the comments and a few have pointed this out but the rest are name calling her as a Karen and saying it was the right thing to do. I even saw the woman being tagged in the post. So AIBU in thinking people use this as a means to an end?

I think we need to reclaim what being kind is. It is not the validating of unwise erroneous behaviour or views. That would be the opposite of kind.

I think you can put others before yourself at times and be tolerant

I liked it to start with, but it then got turned into a way to shut down people who were calling other people out for their shit.

If you are being a knob, then own it. Don't tell people to 'be kind' when they call you out for being a knob.

#beabsolutelyfuckingfurious would be far more appropriate in the current climate.

“Be Kind” is used to silence women.

It’s usually said by utter twats who are anything but…

@XenoBitch

I liked it to start with, but it then got turned into a way to shut down people who were calling other people out for their shit.

If you are being a knob, then own it. Don't tell people to 'be kind' when they call you out for being a knob.

I don't know. What exactly is meant by calling other people out for their shit? I've seen complete twatish posts calling women out for speaking out on environmental/legal issues, voting a certain way, being vegan, travelling, going shopping "unnecessarily", being religious and wearing clothes/jewellery/ make-up.

Some of the people I used to work for/with got on the this bandwagon. I doubt whether it made any impact on their actions towards others 💩🦄😂 Be Kind became a social media fashion statement and/or a muzzling device during conflict.

I see it written on lots of girls' clothes, but not on boys' clothes. That says it all.

I actually think "be kind" is a good message and it's good that it's a bit cool to be kind.

There is more of a definitive push to be inclusive and diverse and that ties in with 'be kind'.

I don't like"be kind" as a gagging order. People should feel free to speak their mind and state facts politely and have the right to hold their believes without being discriminated against. Be kind is about manners.

Until Be Kind is directed at boys and men instead of women and girls, I’m out. My daughter isn’t always kind; and I have to say I’m glad she’s no pushover. I encourage her not to be an asshole but I don’t force her to be kind.

Incidentally I used to buy into #bekind. About about a year ago my girl was followed around by a similar aged boy so around 5-6. It was upsetting her. I told my daughter to play with him and be kind.
Well, it’s the last time, I won’t have my daughters back. Quite why I didn’t speak to the dad and ask him to tell his son to stop following my daughter around, that it was making her uncomfortable, I’ll never know.

It was a lesson to me.
I’ll never forget putting #BeKind ahead of my daughter’s feelings. Never, ever again.

@TooBigForMyBoots
I don't know. What exactly is meant by calling other people out for their shit?confused I've seen complete twatish posts calling women outhmm for speaking out on environmental/legal issues, voting a certain way, being vegan, travelling, going shopping "unnecessarily", being religious and wearing clothes/jewellery/ make-up.confusedconfusedconfused

I can only speak from my experience and what I have seen.

Person A goes on social media and rants about something.
Other people disagree.
Person A gets nasty because they are not being agreed with
Other people say they are being irrational and mean
Person A says "Be Kind" and expects everyone else to shut up and piss off.

That sounds like a bit of a pile-on @XenoBitch. Sometimes it takes a while for stuff to sink in. Would it make a difference if Person A said don't be a dick instead of be kind?

Obviously it is a fine well-intentioned concept but it has become a preachy cliche. Our preachy Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, spouts it constantly at covid press conferences and Be Kind appears on electronic motorway signs. Huge numbers of NZers are suffering because of our government's decisions around covid, evidence of a distinct lack of responsibility, compassion and kindness.

There needs to be a boycott of clothes with this ridiculous statement on. I wouldn’t buy anything with it on, not for me or for nieces and goddaughters.
Are you listening, clothes designers? I want to see ‘unstoppable’ , ‘go for it’ etc on girls clothes.

i was first aware of #BeKind as part of an anti bullying in schools campaign started by This Morning about 4 years ago. This came as a result of two parents whose sons had been driven to suicide by school bullies.

www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/3884358/be-kind-campaign-this-morning-celebrities-bullying-wristband/

A few years later it's on slippers and nighties and all sorts, not sure what happened.

I think it is unkind to imply that someone needs telling to be kind.

I think it still has a place in schools.

@BordelDeMerde

#beabsolutelyfuckingfurious would be far more appropriate in the current climate.

Exactly!!

It started as a nice idea but its morphed into "women, be quiet and get back in your box". Nah, not going to do that,thanks.

I loathe #bekind and I generally agree that its a way of discouraging women in particular from having strong opinions. It's incredibly gendered -- men are encouraged for having these opinions, women made to feel like harridans if they challenge a received view or defend themselves.

That said, and not to detract from this all all, that restaurant review did come across as unbelievably entitled. No she shoudn't have been called out in that way for her opinions but calling a member of waiting staff a "scrote" in a review. Really? Do you all really think that's OK?

It is a load of bollocks. If you are a decent person you will be considerate to others anyway. A lot of people who shriek the "BE KIND" are really just saying "let me away with bad behaviour without criticising me or calling me out on it".

As a movement it was yet another meaningless hashtag for those too lazy to think for themselves and desperate to fit in to repost on their social media to give themselves a sense of moral superiority.

Like every other religious and political mantra which has existed throughout the millennia there are those who recite it to fit in and those who embed it in their very existence.

Unfortunately society has an increasing number of parrots.

I like it. I don’t use it as the people I interact with aren’t dicks and they don’t need reminding not to be nasty.

My DDs also love Harry Styles and he has Treat People With Kindness on some of his merch and that makes it cool.

I could apply BeKind to the poster on here who referred to another as a God botherer. That was uncalled for. I’m an atheist but I found her post interesting as it succinctly presented a POV I hadn’t considered before (as I don’t do religion) and gave me an insight of how it must feel to be completely loved. I think that’s we’re the hashtag could come in but of course it’s better to actually say in words what you mean.

There's a child at my DD's school who pulled a weapon on another child. In front of the whole class.

The response from the school was to get a 1:1 (good) and tell us to tell our children the Be Kind (bad). I understand the aggressor is probably having a hard time. But my child will absolutely not be told to Be Kind in the have of male aggression. Bollocks to that.

It really means, "shut up WAG and get back to your role as support humans to men. If you don't, you're a Karen, or a nag, or a witch, or a bitch, or feminazi or whatever word we currently use to stop WAG getting their needs met. Men, carry on."

Men kill 2-3 women a week. They can have all their clothes emblazoned with Be Kind.

Be kind is always used to excuse crappy behaviour.

For example last month the was a huge crash on the motorway near our home junction. Unfortunately 2 people died and the motorway was closed for hours. Most people were extending their sympathies or offering help but one woman had a massive rant at the police, saying her wait was a “nightmare” with an angry face. Most people commented saying that it wasn’t as much of a nightmare for her as they people who lost their life, or their families or the police who had to deal with the situation (this is close to my heart as we have a family member who has had a serious breakdown due to dealing with traffic deaths). Then someone jumped in with “be kind” never mind the fact that the complainer was not being kind in the first place!