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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What are your opinions on Be Kind?

106 replies

Lordwhatitis · 07/10/2021 12:08

I feel like it was something that was started with good intentions that people now use with an alternative agenda.

I saw on Instagram this morning that a local restaurant had screenshotted a review someone left on their Facebook account. The review itself was not nice and included an uncalled for insult. The post included the restaurants reply telling her not to come back. The caption to the post was a lengthy one about being kind, which I agree with and would have thought it was the right way to respond but they included the persons name and profile picture in the post.

I think they could have gotten the same point across (even better) if this was hidden. I’m sure they did it on purpose.

I read the comments and a few have pointed this out but the rest are name calling her as a Karen and saying it was the right thing to do. I even saw the woman being tagged in the post. So AIBU in thinking people use this as a means to an end?

OP posts:
StoatMilk · 07/10/2021 14:47

It’s often bandied about by people who need to review their own behaviour before they jump on yet another band wagon and lecture others.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/10/2021 14:50

I can't stand it as it's usually just used to shut the other person up if they don't agree with what's being said.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/10/2021 14:50

@StoatMilk

It’s often bandied about by people who need to review their own behaviour before they jump on yet another band wagon and lecture others.
I quite agree.
Butchyrestingface · 07/10/2021 14:59

Anyone got a link?

*Enquiring minds...

Mistressofnone · 07/10/2021 15:06

Totally agree with most of the posts. It's used by people who love attention - especially on social media - and want to 'humbly brag' without being called out on it.

WhoWants2Know · 07/10/2021 15:11

Kindness isn't always the virtue I need most. In fact, at various points in my life, I could have done with being much less kind. Not turning the other cheek or giving the benefit of the doubt.

Implacable. That'll do for me.

NewlyGranny · 07/10/2021 15:18

#beimplacable. I like it, WhoWants2Know!

NoYOUbekind · 07/10/2021 15:21

Did someone page me Grin

It is obviously a crock of shit when used in an internet context, variously meaning shut up, I'm right, give me your rights, give me your space and move the fuck over with your female bleating.

I am not a fan.

Do I teach my child to be kind? Well of course I do, but at home my definition of kindness is much more aligned to @MintJulia's version.

Pigeonpocket · 07/10/2021 15:28

Being kind is generally a good thing.

The Be Kind movement is a load of shit and lets people get away with being horrible or avoiding criticism behind this banner of "be kind". It gives cheeky fuckers an easy way out of having no accountability for their actions.

GreatBritishShartOff · 07/10/2021 15:32

To me Be Kind = do not dare have an individual thought

branchlight · 07/10/2021 15:46

@RosemaryandLavender

It may have started from a good place but I see it as nothing but manipulative. Usually spouted by people who do not want to be called out on their own shit behaviour. And almost always directed at girls and women.

Forget Kind. Set Boundaries.

This!

It is better to be boundaried than kind. That is a campaign that I could get behind!

Pigeonpocket · 07/10/2021 16:09

It is better to be boundaried than kind. That is a campaign that I could get behind!

I feel like that would inevitably go the way of be kind. Other people would use "respect my boundaries" as a way of telling people to not call them out on their bullshit.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 07/10/2021 16:20

Doesn't matter how kind you are, people treat you like shit so l am bringing my daughter up to just not be unkind and there is a big difference.

MyPatronusIsACat · 07/10/2021 18:35

@Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin

Doesn't matter how kind you are, people treat you like shit so l am bringing my daughter up to just not be unkind and there is a big difference.
Brilliant! ^ 👏🏽👏🏻👏🏿👏🏽👏🏻
devildeepbluesea · 07/10/2021 18:39

It's a method of silencing truths people don't want to hear.

EishetChayil · 07/10/2021 18:41

I hate it. It's so mealy-mouthed.

Kind is the last thing I'm going to teach my daughter to be. Strong, fair, just, honest. Not "kind". Kind gets you walked all over.

TooBigForMyBoots · 07/10/2021 18:50

It's not a great soundbite,🥴 but I think the sentiment is don't be a dick which is an excellent message.😁

grasstreeleaf · 07/10/2021 18:54

I've no problem with being kind. It's what I aim to do in life. However, if people are making bad mistakes that does include pointing it out (kindly) so they can avoid the pitfalls and consequences in future of continuing to make that bad mistake.

grasstreeleaf · 07/10/2021 18:57

And requiring validation on every aspect of personally held views and behaviour is short sighted. Learning and development only occurs when someone is eager for their views to be tested. Seeking truth requires it.

buttermutt · 07/10/2021 19:06

I prefer treat others how would you like to be treated.

Be kind just means I will act like a dick but if you criticise me for it then I will ask you to be kind whilst I decimate your character. Fuck that

MrsKeats · 07/10/2021 19:13

It's a way to keep women in their place.
The suffragettes weren't kind. They had to be tough.

N4ish · 07/10/2021 19:19

Yes, it’s a slogan used to oppress women and teach girls their place. I want my daughters to wear ‘be strong’ t-shirts rather than ‘be kind’ ones.

Roguehair · 07/10/2021 20:09

Be kind is a load of 💩 normally used as a way of controlling women’s behaviour. I’m bringing my daughter up to be assertive instead.

grapewine · 07/10/2021 20:15

@PinkFootstool

Be Kind is an absolute crock of shit.

It came about following someone's suicide (not naming her, it's pointless), however had it been a man who was in the same position as her, no one would have given two shits let alone quoted some trite post from their Instagram.

It's been utter bollocks from day 1 and I can't support it. It's also trotted out in response to disagreements where the person using it is in the wrong and somehow feels aggrieved.

All of this.

Also: it is used as a way to shut women up.

Comedycook · 07/10/2021 20:16

I hate "be kind"

I'd prefer "be polite and considerate"