What are your opinions on Be Kind?

[Lordwhatitis]

I feel like it was something that was started with good intentions that people now use with an alternative agenda.

I saw on Instagram this morning that a local restaurant had screenshotted a review someone left on their Facebook account. The review itself was not nice and included an uncalled for insult. The post included the restaurants reply telling her not to come back. The caption to the post was a lengthy one about being kind, which I agree with and would have thought it was the right way to respond but they included the persons name and profile picture in the post.

I think they could have gotten the same point across (even better) if this was hidden. I’m sure they did it on purpose.

I read the comments and a few have pointed this out but the rest are name calling her as a Karen and saying it was the right thing to do. I even saw the woman being tagged in the post. So AIBU in thinking people use this as a means to an end?

It may have started from a good place but I see it as nothing but manipulative. Usually spouted by people who do not want to be called out on their own shit behaviour. And almost always directed at girls and women.

Forget Kind. Set Boundaries.

I'll be teaching my daughters "remember your manners" like I was, and later as posted above "don't be a dick". Far more useful and empowering for all concerned!

It always sounds really childish to me. I think Prince George’s kindergarten has ‘Be Kind’ as their motto.

I think it's now used to put people in their place and shut them up.

Also, it is almost always (in my experience) used by people online who are the exact opposite of kind in real life!

My biggest problem with 'Be Kind' is that it always seems to be aimed at women and girls, never men. So it's less 'Be Kind', more 'Shut Up'. Sainsbury's summer clothes featured a t-shirt with 'Be Kind' on it in the women's section, the men's had nothing like it. Any slogans for them were to do with travel and sports. It has become a great way to make women's behaviour the problem .

I think most people who use #bekind do so against what is quite often criticism, and so use it as a way to silence people. Of course the awful concept of being kind is a good one, but like everything it seems to have spiralled to have a different meaning now.

"Be kind" means "Don't be a cunt".

I substitute the latter when I hear or read someone use the former. It works because it makes the "advice" more unpleasant but also more accurate.

If I'm being a cunt, and someone tells me not to be one, fair enough. "Be kind" might be warranted in those situations if it helps me realise my behaviour isn't quite right.

Usually "be kind" is used for minor perceived infractions, things where implying someone was a cunt would be way over the top. It's these things where the extra offence caused by the "don't be a cunt" advice hammers home how unreasonable the person offering the advice is.

By calling someone a cunt you're a bit of a cunt yourself likewise by saying "be kind" you are not being kind.

@krustykittens

My biggest problem with 'Be Kind' is that it always seems to be aimed at women and girls, never men. So it's less 'Be Kind', more 'Shut Up'. Sainsbury's summer clothes featured a t-shirt with 'Be Kind' on it in the women's section, the men's had nothing like it. Any slogans for them were to do with travel and sports. It has become a great way to make women's behaviour the problem .

Exactly. I have seen a few stores that have BE KIND on the women and girls clothes only. As a few posters have said, it's used to shut women down, and keep them in their place.

That said, that rant from that instagram user towards the waiter at DG was bang out of order. The person on Instagram from DG saying #bekind is a bit naff though. This phrase really grates on me now!

I think it grates on me for the same reasons as many other women on here, because it's almost ALWAYS aimed at women and girls only.

It’s total and utter online bullshit. One of the many devil spawn of social media and the avalanche of narcissism that will bury civilisation.

@HarrietsChariot

"Be kind" means "Don't be a cunt".

I substitute the latter when I hear or read someone use the former. It works because it makes the "advice" more unpleasant but also more accurate.

If I'm being a cunt, and someone tells me not to be one, fair enough. "Be kind" might be warranted in those situations if it helps me realise my behaviour isn't quite right.

Usually "be kind" is used for minor perceived infractions, things where implying someone was a cunt would be way over the top. It's these things where the extra offence caused by the "don't be a cunt" advice hammers home how unreasonable the person offering the advice is.

By calling someone a cunt you're a bit of a cunt yourself likewise by saying "be kind" you are not being kind.

You sure said CUNT a lot there.

And the more I read it, the funnier it got!

I don't think much of the #hashtag but appreciate kind people.
There is lots of genuine kind people who care for others every day.
My moto is don't be a wanker with anyone unless there's a good reason.

It's a pile of steaming crud. 💩

Be kind IME usually means be kind to me and bollocks to everyone else. As others have said it's a way to shut people down when they question behaviour that's usually anything but kind.

As for this post though (I'm not an insta user so may have got this wrong) she posted using her named account to the businesses account, and called a staff member a 'scrote' into the bargain, so wouldn't anyone on her or their list be able to see that anyway? If it was a private message then that's different, but from the way it's written it sounds like she knew it would be read by more than just the business anyway, and maybe that was kind of the point of her doing it? The 'review' may have been valid wrt service, we don't know either way.
I don't agree with the #bekind crap, but if she didn't want it to be read by other people and be called out for what she said (which is anything but #kind itself) then she maybe should have done it on a private forum instead?

It's really not appropriate to be calling anyone names like that, but on a public forum if you do it then you have to expect some negative responses.

It’s the restaurant saying be kind and then liking all of the comments calling her a Karen for me

Have also just noticed that the restaurant is tagged in photos of a lot of people but they only share the ones of very beautiful girls onto their feed

Unsurprised that they’ve gone down the #bekind and Karen road here

unpopular opinion alert I know it's not mainstream, but this is what I really think. And it's good to present a range of views.

I think "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you" is much more radical and powerful than "be kind". As many people have said here, often "be kind" is just a cover for our own selfishness, preventing people from criticising us.
Actually, all of the sermon of the mount makes these bland platitudes look utterly feeble...
But that's because it shows our best righteousness is like filthy rags compared to God's perfection. No one is fully, perfectly, unfailingly kind. When you look at God's standards, you see we don't even come close ("love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you", "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her"). But God is too perfect to permit any sin in his kingdom, but he loves us so much that he made a way for it to be possible. We need a saviour who clothes us with his perfect goodness, not ours. Someone who takes the punishment we deserve, so that we can be forgiven and have a relationship with the perfect king forever. Because Jesus died in our place and brought forgiveness, we can approach God with absolute confidence that he will accept us, not based on any of our own merits. Now, I try to love others, not because I think I can save myself by it, but as a joyful response to this love that God has lavished on me.

This perspective gives me so much more joy and confidence. The happiest, boldest people I know are those who don't deceive themselves thinking they're a good person in their own strength, but those who throw up their hands, accept that their feeble attempts to be kind are always going to fall short, and depend on Jesus's sacrifice for them.

It’s a load of bullshit coined by the sensitive snowflakes.

Be Kind comes under the umbrella of toxic positivity. I feel like running away screaming when I read it because you know the person saying it is anything but kind.

Whenever I read “whatever happened to Be Kind??” I always think well, I never made any such promise…

It just seems to be another way of saying ‘Be A Pushover’ and as so many others have said, aimed exclusively at girls/women and usually in some attempt to have them compromise their own boundaries.

I much prefer “don’t be a dick”. Roughly the same sentiment but much more reasonable in my opinion.

Had this conversation recently with a 9yo girl family member. Explained that it"s a 2 way street and warned her that people who said it to her might just be trying to breach her boundaries and make her give up something of hers, or make her feel guilty if she refused. We left it that it might be better to say "Be kind to yourself" or ask another person demanding "Be kind!" to explain how they were showing kindness themselves.

Odd how it's always phrased as an imperative. It's never "Please be kind," or "Why not be kind?" or "Is that kind?" is it? Just a barked order: "Be kind!"

We'll, I'll think about it and decide for myself if you need or deserve my kindness, thank you. Otherwise that's potentially my lunch, my favourite gel pens and my single sex spaces all gone for good because somebody else felt more entitled to them!

Let's have, "Be bold!" instead, or "Be true to yourself!" Or even "Be alert!"

The customer was rude and out of line, but the restaurant should have acted much more professionally as they have much more to lose (their reputation and business is at stake)

'Be kind' is ridiculous YANBU OP

It's a load of bollocks that is used to mean shut the fuck up women. Always be nice. Never assert yourself. Be a doormat.

It's ok to say no
It's ok to have boundaries.
It's ok to have times when you put your own needs first.
It's ok to disagree with someone.

If 'bekind' was actually be kind as in don't be a twat and was aimed equally at women and men then I might not hate it so much but I have never ever ever heard or read any man being told "what happened to be kind? Remember, (I forget her name, sorry,) be kind. It costs nothing to be kind"

Do something you don't want to cos #bekind
Let people take advantage of you cos #bekind
Your neighbour wants to take over your garden, hey, #bekind
Your mother demands you dance to her tune at all times, hey, #bekind
A school mum dumps her kids on you every weekend without even asking, hey #bekind

Seriously, #bekind can fuck right off.

I'm not sure quite where to start here.....

We have
The awful customer.
The strange response from the restaurant.
The OP who has posted this for all the world to see.
The god botherer who is beseeching us all to praise the Lord
Be kind my arse

I roll my eyes hard every time I read on here people saying, “whatever happened to #BeKind?”

I’m not opposed to being kind, I think it’s generally a good thing.

But I didn’t sign up to a BeKind pledge, neither did anyone else… so it’s pointless to criticise us for not following something we didn’t commit to.

Just because you put # in front of it, didn’t make it a thing, or the law. I just think people that say that are dicks 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whereas if they just asked people to be kind - fine.