Am I wrong for not wanting this photo shoot?

[Plantmams]

So I have a 6 month old daughter.
Mentioned to my mother in law that I’d love to get some photos of DD when she’s young as well as some family ones with myself DH and my husbands son. I found a photographer I love but money is tight so I’ve put it off (I didn’t tell my mother in law this)
About a month ago my MIL said she had a voucher for a local photographer ( my MIL knows him) and we could use it for a family photo shoot which is so lovely of her. However after asking my DH it turns out that my DH and his ex did the exact same shoot with the same photographer when my DSS was about the same age- I’ve seen the photos and as soon as my MIL mentioned a photo shoot I just knew it was the same
one. MIL and FIL also got in on the photo shoot when DSS was a baby and still have some of the photos.
DH doesn’t have any of those photos as all of the ones of him have his ex in. (For context DH, MIL and FIL are all civil with the ex but don’t like her for reasons I won’t disclose on here)
I know my MIL has offered this as a wonderfully kind gesture but am I the arsehole if I turn down the photo shoot? Something about using the same photographer and doing the same shoot just makes me quite upset to be honest… or should I just suck it up and do the photo shoot?

Also be careful with these ‘free photoshoots’ sometimes the cost of the photos ends up more than the entire shoot plus photos from a good indie photographer. And there’s the hard sell.

@JudgeRindersMinder
Sorry lovely 😂
I’m terrible at reading things right!

I really don't think that matters

@kwiksavenofrillsusername
You’ve hit the nail on the head!
Jeans, no shoes, baby sitting in dads back 🙄😩 snd I’ve looked at his newest photos abd sadly it’s still the same! Even the outside shoots he does are like that, leaning on a tree etc

Go with the photographer you want. The purpose is to have a keepsake of something you cherish not a shoot for the sake of a shoot. You will always be disappointed looking at a set you didn't really like the style of.

@Thethreecs
You’ve described the style to a T!
I’ve looked at his newest stuff and unfortunately it’s still the same 😩
He edits very bright, think newspaper photos, he doesn’t really use soft focus so all the images are the same focus and very sharp.

And now you’ve mentioned it my MIL said the voucher was for a ‘free photo shoot’ so I guarantee the shoot will be free but you then have to buy the photos and I’ll be honest I won’t want to buy any if they are like his wit at the moment!

so she didn't buy the photoshoot as a gift? well that's easy then....go to the shoot, let Mil cough up for copies if she wants and say you don't want any....look on it as a favour to your Mil.

Yeah the 'free' photoshoots are a con. So you'll end up out of pocket for photos your dislike!

Do they still do the 'barefoot in jeans and a white t-shirt rolling about the floor' photo shoots?

@godmum56
No it’s not a gift, MIL has a voucher for a ‘free photo shoot’ and keeps saying we need to use it.
But that’s not a bad idea! I could just let the shoot be for the kids then and she can buy photos if she wants?

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches that’s the one!
Or parents sat on stools with one kid standing and a baby on your knee

Ask for an unstaged outdoor photoshoot, make it totally different to the other one. Autumn is beautiful for outdoor photos.

I kinda see where you come from, OP, so soft YABU. Try not to focus on this being the photo shoot with the same photographer, focus on it being your own and completely new and different experience because it is what it will really be. Check out Pinterest to pick the poses you'd like or think about fun Christmas / Halloween outfits, etc. Make this photo shoot as yours as possible, you can even create a family photo slideshow or make a photo collage afterwards or get a photo book. It's never going to be the same as the one that gives you unpleasant thoughts so nothing to worry about, really.

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

Yeah the 'free' photoshoots are a con. So you'll end up out of pocket for photos your dislike!

Do they still do the 'barefoot in jeans and a white t-shirt rolling about the floor' photo shoots?

Oh they do! Some other classics include pregnancy photoshoots where the woman is holding tiny baby shoes on her bump, and newborn shoots where the kid is laying bum in the air in a tutu.

This thread reminded me of a detail I love on Friday Night Dinner. If you look at the walls in their lounge they’ve got some awful barefoot family photos hanging on the walls, including one with the boys standing back to back. It’s so Jackie.

@kwiksavenofrillsusername, I have seen the photos where teeny weeny little newborns are popped in a tutu and wrangled into bonkers positions. So crazy. I remember a few years ago there was a trend for posing them in giant flowers so they looked like tiny bald thumbelinas.

And yes, I clocked the Friday Night Dinner family portraits. So Jackie, you're right. God knows how Martin acted when forced down to the studio though!

You can wear a different style of clothes to the ones in the previous shoot. Request a different backdrop. Refuse any poses you don't like. Request anything you specifically like.

You also don't need to buy any images you don't like.

The photos won't be the same so go for it. You don't lose anything by going along.

Just be honest and say you weren't impressed with the company, found the photos staged and with no colour variation. There. Done. Easy.

Yes, just get the photo's taken, and don't think about what has been done before.

Having said that, my daughter had some professional photo's taken years ago, when, they were of herself, her partner, and my two grandsons when they were much younger than now. The photo's were very posed and staged, with a white backdrop in some studio, and although they were ok, I have kept the large one she gave to me, but have it in an album, as on my photo shelves here, it looks a bit unreal, and doesn't depict how they all look in real life, or in the usual type of family photo's.

[quote Plantmams]@godmum56
No it’s not a gift, MIL has a voucher for a ‘free photo shoot’ and keeps saying we need to use it.
But that’s not a bad idea! I could just let the shoot be for the kids then and she can buy photos if she wants?

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches that’s the one!
Or parents sat on stools with one kid standing and a baby on your knee[/quote]
Do the shoot for your MIL, because she clearly likes this style and wants pictures of the newest Grandchild. If she wants photos from it she can buy them. Don't buy any yourself unless by some remote chance you love them or you want to get one for Mil's Christmas present.

Book a shoot with a photographer that you like at another time and buy photos from them.

Yabu, it's just a photographer, she knows him do has set it up. Get the photos done, you will regret it if you don't

I think before you go ANY further, think about the kind of things you want.

Have a look online for inspiration. And then send pictures to the photographer and ask if they can do 'something like'.

Maybe something here as a starting point.... www.a-fotografy.co.uk/natural-black-and-white-family-portraits/

YANBU, I would feel super weird about it too. Added in the fact that you don't like the photography style AND that the voucher is kind of a scammy trick where the shoot is "free" but you have to pay for the photos (why not just say it's £xx for a set of 5 photos?) it would be a no from me.

Maybe a good way to get out of it is to say you've recently found a great deal on a photographer you love so are going with that?