My just turned 3 year old can read and write

[Rockean]

This isn’t a brag post, although. I’m pretty sure it’s going to come across like one.

My son just turned 3 and he can write his name, write basic/familiar words that he can sound out (the letters are recognisable) and he can sound out words when we look at books together. He loves playing with his magnetic letters and puts them together to create words, he can tell me what they say too.

He’s taught himself this through watching Alphablocks and reading books with us since he was tiny, particularly a phonics book that had all the sounds and alphabet written out with pictures of each letter of the alphabet next to them,

I’m just wondering if this is unusual?

He also doesn’t really play with toys, even though he has plenty of them, he'd much rather look at books and line up his alphabet letters or make words out of them. He’ll also sit with his magma doodle or white board and pen and just write things out. He’s done it at soft play when other kids are playing and I’ve bought his magma doodle.
I want him to play with toys too and I try to encourage him, but obviously I don’t want to discourage him from the books/letters and phonic sounds , but equally he’s going to know much more than most of his peers when he starts school, so I’m worried it’ll be boring for him.

Look up hyperlexia.

Its not unusual for a child to learn, if he is exposed to it.

It is unusual for a 3 year old to be exposed to so much alphabet at this age - many parents wouldn't want that.

Just think, if he was deaf, he would be reading and communicating with sign language now; visual language isn't innately any harder than aural language, its just we don't tend to hamper 3 year olds with both

Can’t most 3 year olds do that?

Hyperlexia can be a sign of autism.

It sounds pretty standard

I’m just wondering if this is unusual?

Are you really?

@SoniaFouler

Can’t most 3 year olds do that?

No

I’ve just had a quick look and I have suspected he’s on the autistic spectrum, but his speech is excellent and he always makes eye contact when you speak to him, he’s also very affectionate. He’s very sociable with other children as well.
So I’m not sure.

He has a fantastic memory too.

He does seem to have sensory issues, he can’t stand the hand dryer in public toilets and babies crying set him off too.

DS1 could read certain words and spell out quite a few as well at that age. He was ahead of most of his year group in reading and writing when he started school.

However, he was hopeless at dressing himself, was crap at sharing/taking turns, and couldn't cope well with big groups. I know which was more important in Reception year.

Aw, that sounds lovely. Not a clue if its unusual or not as I only have one and she's a baby in still 😂

Can you share the name of the phonics book please?

I’m glad to hear it’s standard and pretty normal. I hope he starts playing with toys a bit more soon. Like role play with small world etc. But I guess he’ll do it in his own time.

Ours was like this at 3, and at 4 is continuing along the same path (now reading at around Y1 level). I do continue to gently push her along and praise her for effort especially, but I also try to limit that in time and she does plenty of other normal things day to day so that (hopefully) she is balanced overall.

Ime it’s unusual but whether or not it’s something to worry about depends on other factors.

Don't worry, he'll be fine. There's always loads to learn and he'll never run out of books to read as long as libraries exist. It's sadly not an indication that your child is the next Einstein. Some kids just click with reading and enjoy it, but the rest catch up soon enough and the attainment levels generally even out, and even the slower readers can end up "ahead" of the faster readers in the end (not that "ahead" and "behind" are very meaningful). Supporting your child to have a love of learning and curiosity to explore new things will have an excellent impact on his eventual outcomes though.

All three of mine could sound out basic words by the time they were three-and-a-half. Dd was recognising words on her second birthday 😬. All three have turned out fine! Just bright kids, who started school able to read and have all done well academically since then.

@EmmaGrundyForPM that sounds just like my son.
He’s not yet potty trained, although we’re working on it. He’s also rubbish at sharing, although he is sociable. And he’s not so great at practical things like using a spoon and fork.

If you've ever met a 3 year old before, you'll know it's fairly unusual.

Kids learn at different paces. 2 out of 3 of mine learned basic reading and writing before they started school and no they weren't bored.

Also, their peers caught up very quickly.

It's nothing to worry about.

@SoniaFouler

Can’t most 3 year olds do that?

No, I don't think most 3 year olds can do that. I suspect you are trying to bring the op down a peg or 2 by implying that.

OP, I don't think it's usual, no, but they will go with what they are exposed to, so if you are exposing him to a lot of letters, words etc (more than is typical for that age group), then that is what his focus will be.

DD showed an interest so we went with it and as a result she was an early reader. DS couldn't have cared less and did NOT want anything to do with letters, so we didn't push it until he went to school and has found reading a lot harder (he has ASD too).

I know as a parent it's tempting to push them and hope they will be more advanced than other kids, but it's important they learn to play and have other interests too.

My now 20 yr old DD was like this but there's no way I would've posted about it in AIBU 😂

@APerfectSky that’s the thing, we’re not pushing him, I’m actually trying to encourage him to play with his other toys instead of just the letters. We read to him before bed each night and during the day , but I won’t be stopping that of course.

I honestly don’t think he’s going to be the next Einstein, neither would I want him to be really. I just want him to be happy. I certainly won’t be putting any pressure on him.

Hi OP, most 3 yr olds can’t do that, but many can. It depends on who educated them and what they were interested in.

When they start school they’ll find it very easy, and you may find that the school’s overworked teacher doesn’t bother to teach your child anything and by year 2 they’re the same level as the rest of the class. This is what happened with our daughter. 2 years ahead on everything when she started primary, then 3 yrs of not learning anything (and getting used to that) => not particularly ahead by yr 2.

Choose your school with care, and be very sceptical about what the school says on open days. Our local state primary assured us that our child would receive education appropriate to her level and that was just untrue. In retrospect I wish we’d gone private and just not had the new kitchen 🤔

There’s a lot more to learn in school than letters etc. There’s the whole interacting with others, making friends, learning to share etc, not to mention many many others and also other subjects. At his age, there will be so much more to learn than simply letters, that I wouldn’t imagine he’d be bored just because he may be a bit advanced in one area. In a very short period of time the gap will begin to close, assuming there is one. My kids have always been quick at learning to read but by the end of year 6 all of them can reading and the gap closes up a lot.

What’s the aibu? Did you mean to post this here?

He sounds fab OP but a nursery teacher I would say this is unusual ..from my experience. Maybe focus on social skills / activities / messy play etc this year if you can. Its great that he is so enthusiastic... this is half the battle and he won't get bored of school .there is loads to learn but since he is so capable in this area maybe focus on other aspects of play ? It will all come together for him..

DD could read and write before she started school (September birthday). I was frustrated when she started school as they started them all of at the same point and start phonics from the beginning, we read the school books then just read whatever else we wanted to. There's a lot more to school than learning the academics, learning social skills and how to be in a noisy environment etc, the start of her school career she didn't show what she could do either, she's an only and I imagine distracted by other children and other activities as she got comfortable in the environment she started to show her ability but it took awhile. She got 40/40 on her phonics test and has remained in top set ever since. She's not at genius level but certainly bright and enjoys school.

I think it's unusual but not extraordinary.

One of DD's friends could read when he was two- as in he could read his own "happy 2nd birthday" cards out loud. I would not have believed this had I not seen it with my own eyes. He could also count up to 1000, add up in his head etc.

Fast forward to junior school and he is ahead in English and maths but not spectacularly so. He has sensible parents who have provided many varied stimulating activities, including sports, learning a musical instrument and a foreign language. He lovea school and is very sociable and happy. School are very good at giving him challenging work - he found other things difficult, such as sharing with others, following rules, writing clearly, Welsh, etc.