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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour thread: parking on our drive…

168 replies

Livvielo · 06/10/2021 00:58

For the past few weeks, our next door neighbour has been having work done in their garden. And they’ve taken to parking their work vans on our drive. We didn’t say anything at first, as the workmen were gone by the time we needed the drive ourselves. (We have parking outside our house as well, and we live in a small street with a dead end. We are the end house.) so it would be my car outside on my non work days, and my husbands car on our drive way from 5pm after work.
What has annoyed me, is that they haven’t asked. Today, I was having a visitor. Without using my driveway, the visitor would have to park a couple of streets away as the closest streets to us have limited parking and always seem full no matter the day! That’s ridiculous when we have a drive!! Knowing we had a visitor coming, my husband said we would need them to move the work van.
They said the vans had to park there as there was nowhere else, but the work should be finished in a couple of days.
Well, this made me snap. I went round and told them how rude they were to have even been using our drive without asking. I said ‘a decent person would at least ask to use it, and had you have asked, I would be ok with that providing we weren’t using it!’
He replied ‘if you were a decent person you would be ok with it!’ This ended up in an argument where I said they were entitled and selfish and they said I was ‘petty.’- all whilst they made no attempt to move the van.
(The work men watched silently)
So I did get petty and I reversed my car back and blocked the work van in- hours before my visitor was due to arrive.
Ended up with both the husband and wife on my doorstep telling me I was out of order….. I did move the car once the workmen came to ask me and they said they had been told by the neighbours that the drive was ok for them to use… I would say the neighbourly relationship is pretty much over now- it was only a ‘hello’ civil type relationship before to be fair…
But… what would you have done? Said from day one to move? Not resorted to being ‘petty’ and blocking the work van in? The issue for me was how rude I found the whole situation. I would never have just assumed it was ok if roles were reversed!!
Pic included….

Neighbour thread: parking on our drive…
OP posts:
Original poster
Livvielo · 06/10/2021 01:00
  • sorry he replied ‘if you were a decent person, you would be ok with it and we wouldn’t have to ask.’
OP posts:
milkyaqua · 06/10/2021 01:01

Politely requested driver of work vehicle from minute one, not day one, to remove. The fact you let it slide is not in your favour.

Chloemol · 06/10/2021 01:04

I would have asked the workman to remove the van immediately, they either park on the neighbours drive, or on the road

Original poster
Livvielo · 06/10/2021 01:05

@milkyaqua

Politely requested driver of work vehicle from minute one, not day one, to remove. The fact you let it slide is not in your favour.
You are probably right! I guess on the first day, I let it slide knowing we don’t usually need the drive until 6pm, but I definitely should have said they needed to ask and not assume. Instead, I’ve let the anger build up about it and then snapped. I could have avoided that showdown Blush
OP posts:
Original poster
Livvielo · 06/10/2021 01:08

@Chloemol

I would have asked the workman to remove the van immediately, they either park on the neighbours drive, or on the road
Their drive is mostly full of their plants as they have nowhere else to put them. In front of the plants is a work van - leaving me just enough room to actually get out the street. They’ve parked their car round the corner… if they parked one van outside their house, it would block me in. If I asked them to move from day one, I’m not sure how the work men would have managed with it. I guess I didn’t want to seem petty, but it continued to annoy me all because of the not asking first. 😩😩
OP posts:
Original poster
Livvielo · 06/10/2021 01:09

Not sure what they will do tomorrow…. Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Livvielo · 06/10/2021 01:13

My husband said he’s embarrassed that I blocked the work van in as it wasn’t their fault. But I was just so bloody annoyed. Confused

OP posts:
Longdistance · 06/10/2021 01:14

‘It’s not for you to decide who can use or cannot park on MY driveway’, should do.

simitra · 06/10/2021 01:16

I would have gone around on the first day and told them we need to negotiate terms of trade for your rental of my drive at ££ a day. Then presented them with a bill at the end.

TrollsAreSaddos · 06/10/2021 01:18

I think you handled it really badly. You basically said nothing then blew up at them. They were rude and inconsiderate but you should have spoken to them politely and calmly before getting all stroppy. 'Snapping' rarely helps. You've not achieved anything other than ruining any relationship between you and your neighbour.

I'd have asked the builders not to park there on day one.

milkyaqua · 06/10/2021 01:21

Instead, I’ve let the anger build up about it and then snapped. I could have avoided that showdown

Maybe, maybe not. You could have asked the workmen not to park there, and they would have been questioned by the neighbour about why they weren't using your drive, and then the unreasonable neighbour would have been on your doorstep calling you 'selfish' straight away!

Sometimes it is good to snap at unreasonable types.

Hoesbeforebroes · 06/10/2021 01:22

@TrollsAreSaddos

I think you handled it really badly. You basically said nothing then blew up at them. They were rude and inconsiderate but you should have spoken to them politely and calmly before getting all stroppy. 'Snapping' rarely helps. You've not achieved anything other than ruining any relationship between you and your neighbour. I'd have asked the builders not to park there on day one.
The husband went round first to ask nicely, and they basically told him to do one. I'd escalate at that point too.
DPotter · 06/10/2021 01:26

This is what happens when you let a situation you find irritating fester, rather than tackling it immediately.

If the workmen park on your drive tomorrow - go out immediately and ask them to move. It's not your problem where they park.

PikachuAndMe · 06/10/2021 01:29

I would have told to get off my drive one the first day. Cheeky b@stards. Definitely would have blocked them in and refused to move if they still left their van there. In fact I would parkin front of them and then gone out for the rest of the day.

It doesn't matter what they do tomorrow as long as they stay of your drive. It isn't your problem.

a8mint · 06/10/2021 01:37

The neighbours are 100% CFs. They should have asked you before the works even started. The people who i feel sorry for are the workmen who have been lied to and cound themselves stuck in the middle.

Original poster
Livvielo · 06/10/2021 01:38

I completely accept I should have just said on day one they need to (ask) check with me each day. My husband said our visitor could have just blocked them in and moved if they needed to get out. They do leave and come back 2 or 3 times usually. That would have kept the neighbourly relations, yet still annoyed me. Even if they had said ‘yes sure, sorry, we will get them to move’ would have been ok enough for me not to snap. Sad I don’t need the driveway tomorrow, and feel bad for the workmen as I have no idea what they will do without using it. So am I petty to say they must move if they park there tomorrow??

OP posts:
Original poster
Livvielo · 06/10/2021 01:39

@a8mint

The neighbours are 100% CFs. They should have asked you before the works even started. The people who i feel sorry for are the workmen who have been lied to and cound themselves stuck in the middle.
This!! I feel bad for them, as I will be making life difficult for them when I don’t need to use it tomorrow and the job should be finished soon!
OP posts:
JesusIsAnyNameFree · 06/10/2021 01:40

@TrollsAreSaddos

I think you handled it really badly. You basically said nothing then blew up at them. They were rude and inconsiderate but you should have spoken to them politely and calmly before getting all stroppy. 'Snapping' rarely helps. You've not achieved anything other than ruining any relationship between you and your neighbour. I'd have asked the builders not to park there on day one.
You read what you want to read I guess?

Knowing we had a visitor coming, my husband said we would need them to move the work van
They said the vans had to park there as there was nowhere else, but the work should be finished in a couple of days

They asked nicely to use their own property. That should never have to happen. She handled being told she couldn't have access to her property quite well, I think. I would have had the urge to rip the wankers head off.

Ilovecharliecat · 06/10/2021 01:40

Your neighbours are total CF’s 😤😡🤬

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 06/10/2021 01:41

Ah, the modus operandi of all CFs: it's your fault for being petty and having a problem when challenging their outrageous CFery and never theirs for doing it in the first place.

I wonder how they'd feel if you just let yourself into their living room whilst they were in the garden and sat on their sofa, watching TV - I presume they would be 'decent' enough not to object at all....???

NumberTheory · 06/10/2021 01:43

@Livvielo

My husband said he’s embarrassed that I blocked the work van in as it wasn’t their fault. But I was just so bloody annoyed. Confused
They are responsible for where they park. It's a shame their customer lied to them, but it's still their responsibility. If you had let them know as soon as they parked on your drive (as others have said) that they did not have permission, they probably wouldn't have done it again and would, instead have had to thrash a solution out with your neighbours the way they should have at the start of the job.

Were they even using the van during the day or was it a matter of turning up, dropping things off and parking? In which case they could do all of that and then head off and park streets away where they expected your visitor to park.

Agree with others, though - letting these sorts of things fester until it causes an issue is a recipe for raised tempers when you do finally confront. Calm and assertive from the get go is a far better approach.

HeyYouGuuuuuuys · 06/10/2021 01:59

Fuck that shit they're cfs! I'd have lost my shit waaaay before now! Just park your car on your drive whether you need or not tomorrow it's your drive and they didn't even ask

BudrosBudrosGalli · 06/10/2021 02:13

Your DH sounds like a bit of a shirtless wonder...

Seriallover · 06/10/2021 02:19

Its the principle of it.

RedMarauder · 06/10/2021 02:21

Your neighbours are CFs.

They should have spoke to you first.

When they didn't you should have spoken to the workmen and told them to move their van or you will get it moved in the first day.

I've been in that situation a few times. I also have had people dump building materials in front of my home. If people refuse to engage - oddly when it involves a vehicle they always do engage - I move their stuff onto the pavement.