Neighbour thread: parking on our drive…

[Livvielo]

For the past few weeks, our next door neighbour has been having work done in their garden. And they’ve taken to parking their work vans on our drive. We didn’t say anything at first, as the workmen were gone by the time we needed the drive ourselves. (We have parking outside our house as well, and we live in a small street with a dead end. We are the end house.) so it would be my car outside on my non work days, and my husbands car on our drive way from 5pm after work.
What has annoyed me, is that they haven’t asked. Today, I was having a visitor. Without using my driveway, the visitor would have to park a couple of streets away as the closest streets to us have limited parking and always seem full no matter the day! That’s ridiculous when we have a drive!! Knowing we had a visitor coming, my husband said we would need them to move the work van.
They said the vans had to park there as there was nowhere else, but the work should be finished in a couple of days.
Well, this made me snap. I went round and told them how rude they were to have even been using our drive without asking. I said ‘a decent person would at least ask to use it, and had you have asked, I would be ok with that providing we weren’t using it!’
He replied ‘if you were a decent person you would be ok with it!’ This ended up in an argument where I said they were entitled and selfish and they said I was ‘petty.’- all whilst they made no attempt to move the van.
(The work men watched silently)
So I did get petty and I reversed my car back and blocked the work van in- hours before my visitor was due to arrive.
Ended up with both the husband and wife on my doorstep telling me I was out of order….. I did move the car once the workmen came to ask me and they said they had been told by the neighbours that the drive was ok for them to use… I would say the neighbourly relationship is pretty much over now- it was only a ‘hello’ civil type relationship before to be fair…
But… what would you have done? Said from day one to move? Not resorted to being ‘petty’ and blocking the work van in? The issue for me was how rude I found the whole situation. I would never have just assumed it was ok if roles were reversed!!
Pic included….

@Livvielo

I completely accept I should have just said on day one they need to (ask) check with me each day. My husband said our visitor could have just blocked them in and moved if they needed to get out. They do leave and come back 2 or 3 times usually. That would have kept the neighbourly relations, yet still annoyed me. Even if they had said ‘yes sure, sorry, we will get them to move’ would have been ok enough for me not to snap. I don’t need the driveway tomorrow, and feel bad for the workmen as I have no idea what they will do without using it. So am I petty to say they must move if they park there tomorrow??

I would say now you've kicked off, don't allow them to continue parking there. Where they end up parking is not your problem.

Can’t believe the audacity of your neighbours!

I think you did great.
They are cheeky fuckers, you have shown them that you’re not a doormat.
How dare they. Don’t feel bad, they’re the ones who made this escalate, not you.

If they do it again without asking, I would have their van towed, btw.

Love how they told you that you were ‘entitled’ when you wanted the off your drive! I would have replied ‘Yes, I am because it’s MY drive. Your gardeners are trespassing- get the fuck off my land’

Their frontage is full of plants. But had the neighbours not told the workmen to use your drive, they wouldn’t have brought so many plants at once or they would have taken them to the back immediately.

There is a work around. That is to clear the drive by removing the plants. If the neighbours have to store them in the house, that’s on them.

Your neighbours sound very entitled. Had they asked, you would then have been able to tell them yes, no and they parameters if yes.

Definitely don't let them park there again. They won't appreciate your generosity.

I don't blame you at all for your reaction. In fact, it seems like you might have wanted to get the authorities involved. I guess you might have called the police first to make sure you understood your rights regarding trespassers who use your property without permission. I might still do that if I were you. Your neighbors have absolutely no concern for your rights at this point, and if you continue to let them walk all over you they will probably just get worse in the future. It's sad that it has to be this way, but you need to let them know now that you won't allow their inconsiderate behavior. You're certainly not ruining any relationships at this point!

I don’t think you need to feel bad or embarrassed for trying to be a good person/neighbour. Your neighbours should not have taken advantage of you. And it’s a sad society where people comment that it is your fault for initially trying to help them out.

Your neighbours should have definitely asked. I’m not sure many people would’ve agreed to it being used every day, not if they use it themselves.

You absolutely dont let then park there tomorrow. Or again. Ffs you should have told them to move on day one!!!!

I think you have a problem with boundaries and asserting yourself. Your neighbours have been taking the piss for the last couple of weeks and you have not challenged them. You've now been inconvenienced by their CFery, snapped at them, not been backed up by DH and are now on the internet wondering who is in the wrong and feeling bad that it will be your fault the contractors life is made more difficult if you don't let them use your drive. Why on earth do you think its your responsibility to provide parking for people working at a neighbours house?

You didn't need to even discuss it with the neighbours to begin with, you could have just asked the workmen to move the first day they turned up that would have force your neighbours to come and ask permission and you could then have discussed the conditions for them using your drive. It's not a favour if someone takes without asking.

And it’s a sad society where people comment that it is your fault for initially trying to help them out.

The OP didn't try to help them out, she allowed them to take advantage and quietly seethed about the cheeky fuckery. The problem with cheeky fuckers is if you give an inch they will argue with you when you try to reclaim the yard and they had clearly identified themselves as cheeky fuckers by using the OP's drive without permission. Now she feels upset about the deterioration in neighbourly relations and lack of support from her husband, all of it was avoidable.

The workers parking is not your problem, your neighbours are cheeky fuckers, I don't blame you for your reaction to their staggering entitlement but it could have easily been avoided. The next time your husband says X needs to happen just thank him for volunteering to take care of it.

It doesn't really matter if you were kind at first and rude later. They should not have taken advantage of you at any point.

Snapping was a sane and reasonable reaction to the CFs next door.

They are CFs. Unbelievable the nerve of some people!

I completely accept I should have just said on day one they need to (ask) check with me each day. My husband said our visitor could have just blocked them in and moved if they needed to get out. They do leave and come back 2 or 3 times usually. That would have kept the neighbourly relations, yet still annoyed me. Even if they had said ‘yes sure, sorry, we will get them to move’ would have been ok enough for me not to snap. sad I don’t need the driveway tomorrow, and feel bad for the workmen as I have no idea what they will do without using it. So am I petty to say they must move if they park there tomorrow??

The situation is ludicrous. They should move their plants. If they want to use your drive they should ask but even to ask is pretty cheeky and unless I especially liked the neighbours I would probably say no.

Having let the situation slide for 2 weeks you are still more than entitled to ask them to move and if they don't, what else are you supposed to do? At that point they should have apologised and moved off immediately. And following your angry outburst they should have realised they were in the wrong and come round with flowers.

Why don't you put your own car on your drive? Or if you don't want to, block access with some plants. I would just say that it's inconvenient to you, they e been really rude and it's not your problem where they park.

You will probably find that once you begin asserting yourself they will be more respectful.

@Longdistance

‘It’s not for you to decide who can use or cannot park on MY driveway’, should do.

This. Well done opfor standing up to them

Although you did let it go for too long I don't think the outcome would have been any better given his reaction
He shouldn't have let them park there without asking you, you shouldn't need to negotiate or give reasons why you need to use your own drive and he should have apologised and asked nicely once you brought it up

You should have spoken to the CF neighbour on day one...going forward...no more work vans on your drive. Yanbu

We don’t speak to my uncle anymore, since he got married to his very forward and cheeky wife. They have a three car driveway but have a campervan and three cars (who needs that many? 🤔). There’s plenty of parking on the street but their next door neighbour is a single man with only one car in his three car driveway so she’s taken it upon herself to go to his door and ask if they can just use it. The poor guys obviously been put on the spot and was too polite to say no. For a couple of months they parked in this poor souls driveway until he must of had enough. He was even having visitors to his house who has nowhere to park! He originally said yes so couldn’t now pluck up the courage to say actually that’s not on. Instead he’s started parking his car diagonally across his full driveway.

Parking in someone’s driveway without asking is even cheekier! I have no idea how anyone could ever bring themselves to ask. It’s part of someone’s house. You wouldn’t chap the neighbours door to say you have friends over and don’t have enough beds so one of them will just be sleeping in their spare room 🤔

I’d have gone over on day 1 and had a nice neighbourly conversation asking them politely to move it / saying when it was ok to use it

But then this is MN where the most reasonable course of action is rarely used and people end up NC with everyone and arguing with neighbours over absolutely nothing

@PrincessNutella

It doesn't really matter if you were kind at first and rude later. They should not have taken advantage of you at any point.

I agree with this. On what planet do people commandeer someone else’s drive for a few weeks without asking?

And then to respond with unpleasantness and name-calling when asked to stop? Your neighbours are expert CFs, OP!

Yes you should have said something earlier but it's irrelevant. The neighbours are CFs as they should never have allowed a work van to park there without asking.
They then should have asked for it to be moved when your DH went round.
I would have blown up by that point and I wouldn't even worry if it's ruined neighbour relations, they are complete twats.
Don't feel bad for the builders, they should have moved their van when they were watching you talk about it with the neighbour. If they didn't until you blocked it in, they were quite happy to stay there knowing you were annoyed.
They can find their own parking.

Yeah you definitely should have talked to them sooner when it happened instead of letting it fester and annoy you for weeks. They’re rude though. Don’t worry about the workmen, they’re not your problem and block your drive if it’s an issue for you

It was completely unreasonable of the workman not to remove his van from your private property when you needed it.

It was completely unreasonable of the neighbour not to have asked you in the first place. Their response to you going over should have been to say thank you and sorry and we will ask him to move.

And there is not nowhere else to park. They could have applied to the council for cones.