To think my employer demanding I go back to the office is just cruel

[Runnyrose]

I work full time over 4 days. DD attends nursery and DH and I split drop offs and pick ups between us. We live 45 minutes from my work in one direction and an hour from DHs in the other but I've been working from home since returning from mat leave in February. My job used to involve a lot of travel around the county and before mat leave, I could easily not step foot in our main office for weeks at a time and generally would start from home and finish at home and go to meetings or appointments in between. Because of the efficiency of Teams, these meetings are almost exclusively virtual and there is no plan to go back to face to face meetings. There is literally not a single aspect of my job that requires me to be in the office.
Suddenly, it's been announced that we have to go back to the office and work there. This will be impossible to manage with DDs childcare setting so the only way will be for my DH to take over both drop offs and pick ups which will mean, to ensure he's there on time, losing 2 hours of work a day. He's self employed so this is a significant amount of money lost every day. I will also lose 2 hours of seeing DD for travel time every day. Not to mention the sudden increased cost in fuel.
I've spoken to my manager and she was completely inflexible and the only solution we could come up with was for me to drop my hours so that I can drop DD off as soon as nursery open, race to work, leave the second the clock strikes 5 to race to pick her up again which frees DH up at least but makes my day a race everyday and costs me a full day a week's pay which works out at nearly £5k a year in bring home pay, not to mention the impact on my pension etc . I can't work full time over 5 days because the nursery don't have availability for her current day off and also, I don't want her going in 5 days a week. Going part time won't even feel like a break for me because I'll literally just be replacing the 2 hours a day working with traveling.
I feel so unbelievably angry at my employer that I work so incredibly hard for them, they know this and my manager said she knows this, but there is no flexibility to allow me to keep working from home when it's going to cause complete devastation to our family set up and financial situation and not in any way shape or form change what they get out of me whilst I'm at work.
I'm trying to find another job but my work is quite niche and there just aren't that many jobs around that pay the same level I'm at now. And I do love my job and don't want to leave it.
I have no problem going back into the office, I just want the option to still be allowed to start and / or finish at home like the job was when I first started and what DH and I planned our situation around before we even had DD.

[quote BudrosBudrosGalli]@Gothichouse40 did you even bother to read OP's posts? Why the shitty attitude?[/quote]
I don’t think it’s shitty, I think it’s being honest.

OP, you’ve said this - my compressed hours work completely fine as they are. I do 7 - 5 so DH drops DD off and I pick her up in plenty of time for 5:30 so I don’t actually know what the problem is. Why does your nursery only open til 5.30? Most round here are open til 6pm. It looks like you’ll need to either elect to have a shorter lunch hour and leave 15 minutes earlier, or just leave earlier and take the cut of 1hours pay a week. Surely that doesn’t equate to £5k a year?

I'd seek out formal advice too. My understanding is that they legally would have to consider a formal working request and have a valid business reason to decline it - if you weren't office based before I imagine they'd struggle to provide a valid reason why it's now business essential. As others have said, it may be that your prolonged period not attending office pre covid can constitute a contract change but you'd absolutely want legal advice first.

I'd also keep an eye out for new jobs as unfortunately from experience even if you're 'right' and even if you 'win' the appeal process can lead to strained working relationships and you may find you're happier elsewhere

9-5.30 is a long time to be in nursery 4 days a week I'm not surprised you don't want her in for 5.
How is this helpful? Plenty of children do longer hours, 5 days a week, and survive: why guilt-trip the OP further?

It does sound annoying. Is the insisting on coming back so they can be seen to be treating everyone the same? I've had to insist on a particular day in the office for my team- we had a flexible arrangement but people started ducking out so I had to be very clear they were expected that day (and one other).

I think you should do a formal flexible working request (not just verbal) requesting homeworking. Legally they have to consider it and provide you with a reason for refusal.

I worked compressed and chose a nursery right next to work for this reason, which might be another option if they refuse the request and you want to keep the job. You might find things get more flexible again once they have re established people at work.

I hate it when an employer takes a high achieving, motivated employee and changes their work conditions to the point where they start searching for another job
Well,we don't know the op is any of those things! Maybe she has been on the pisstake. There must be a reason they want greater visibility on what she is doing?

my work is quite niche and there just aren't that many jobs around that pay the same level I'm at now

This is your problem. Stop focusing on work being "unfair". I think they have a right to enforce office working as if they do it all on a case by case basis it won't work and they probably need most people to be in the office.

If they struggle to retain staff because of this then they will rethink. If I were you I'd find a new job. If its more economic to drop your hours then do that. Most people change their hours to fit in children and as others have said school is worse than nursery.

Find an employer who promotes flexibility and tell them why you're leaving.

What does your contract say?

Is it your manager that’s the problem or company policy? Is she saying there’s no flexibility because that’s her choice?

@Howshouldibehave

yabu to have built your life around this temporary dispensation

This. You can’t really complain that if you return to normal working patterns you’ll get less time with your daughter and an expensive commute. Flip it and be grateful you had 18 months without those things.

If your employer wants you back and your niche skills means getting another job will be hard, I think you need to think practically. What would you be doing for childcare if the pandemic hadn’t happened?

Why are so many people not actually reading or comprehending what the OP is saying?

If they'll lose a good employee it is their problem though.

I agree however her employer wants her back in the office and they are can demand this of their employees, expecily if there is a business need form his, in my organisation, work productivity went down, moral was low and clients wanted to have face to face meetings instead of teams meetings, we also found colleagues communication skills had deteriorated and mental health illness being reported were high.

OP has to remove the childcare element from her work environment as that’s not her employers issue, if she can find a flexible working solution that benefits the business then she needs to go down this route.

The OP has a partner, they BOTH need to find a solution for childcare for their daughter and not expect the OP employer to be the solution of their childcare issues.

Can you offer to go in the office 1/2 days a wwek as a compromise. What is therir flexible working policy ? What time do your meetings start? If your previous role involved travelling and now its all zoom, has your productivity incrrased as you are saving a lot of time on not travelling?

I don’t think the company are unreasonable to ask employees to go to the office unless your contact specifically says you work off site . It was always a possibility.

I hate it when an employer takes a high achieving, motivated employee and changes their work conditions to the point where they start searching for another job

Nothing the Op has said has made me think she’s like this, in fact the complete opposite, because it’s all about her needs and wants and not about the needs of the business!

Sorry haven't read all the responses but not clear if you formally submitted a request to work flexibly? If not might be worth doing so. Your employer only has certain grounds for rejecting this. See gov.uk here

www.gov.uk/flexible-working/after-the-application

Totally agree with you that their policy is ridiculous.

I have a similar situation and work 7am - 4pm so I can make nursery pick up. Could this be an option?

*Also dashing back in the rush hour for a nursery pick-up is going to become hugely stressful long term. What about when the trains are cancelled or there is bad traffic? Well you could take it to the top, get what you want and a reputation for being difficult. Or you could accept at least some of your employer's requests and retain some good will. I would suggest your DP (DH?) does 50% of the nursery pick ups (much harder than the drop offs). An indefinite working from home model is unlikely to be adopted widely.

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

There's no business need.

I would agree that OP didn't have a basis for this if she had previously to the pandemic worked in the office - she didn't. She worked from home and then travelled to meet clients.

Now that the meetings are taking place virtually, the company has decided this should be done from the office, which seems shortsighted.

OP, I really think you have a good case to argue that the terms & conditions of your original role are being changed. I would continue to push for a retention of the same system as before.

Is there any chance that the Teams meetings might be temporary? By this time next year there may be benefit to having face to face meetings again. I would make the request as discussed earlier but also sound out the people you are meeting with, would they prefer to go back to face to face eventually?

@Runnyrose I would post on the employment issues board, there are several HR people on there who may be able to guide you through this situation.

The issue here isn't that OP is wanting to keep covid working conditions, more that the employer have changed their expectations at short notice.
OP, would you have taken the job (pre covid) with those conditions in the first place? Probably not. Either that or you would have collectively made different decisions as a couple (less financial commitments or something)

The way I've read this is that the real issue here is that before you were out and about at clients and now doing those same meetings over Teams.

Is there or could there be a confidentiality issue about doing those teams meetings at home? Has someone has a issue or a breach of some kind that means those need to be done from the office?

That's the bit for me that's changed and pandemic meant virtual meetings and calls at home through necessity but it's not the way my work would prefer to operate. We're going back to the office too.

Why can’t you just pick her up later? Surely the nursery is open past 5.30?

Have you put on a flexible working request?

I can see both sides, you never actually worked from home, but at the same time your contract was to work from the office.

What communication did you have over starting and finishing from home?

It sounds really unfair to me that they expect you to make this change compared to what you were doing before Covid.

Your job has never been office based and it seems like there is no reason for it.

I think there is a lot of tokenistic "back to the office!" going on right now and it's largely unnecessary.

Despite that though, your manager is probably within their rights to do it.

I think your best bet would be going to HR and submitting a request for flexible working.

@Runnyrose speak to ACAS before you do anything. They are excellent. Also, if you have legal cover on your home insurance they normally have an employment law specialist. Definitely worth knowing your exact position before broaching this. Better to be in a position of strength.

Our boss has just told everyone that they will need to start coming into the office. Most are far more productive from home, and they've been employing people who work over 2 hours drive away telling them they'll only ever need to come in if in performance measures. I think they will have a mass exodus. Everyone is extremely unhappy. So you do have my sympathy.

Seems unfair, seek advice and good luck with getting them to change their mind. I think you show admirable focus and they are daft. Niche or not that focus should see you very employable closer to home should you decide to leave. Forcing that level of commute is also terrible environmentally, sadly this is unlikely to inform their thinking but a thought all the same.