To think my employer demanding I go back to the office is just cruel

[Runnyrose]

I work full time over 4 days. DD attends nursery and DH and I split drop offs and pick ups between us. We live 45 minutes from my work in one direction and an hour from DHs in the other but I've been working from home since returning from mat leave in February. My job used to involve a lot of travel around the county and before mat leave, I could easily not step foot in our main office for weeks at a time and generally would start from home and finish at home and go to meetings or appointments in between. Because of the efficiency of Teams, these meetings are almost exclusively virtual and there is no plan to go back to face to face meetings. There is literally not a single aspect of my job that requires me to be in the office.
Suddenly, it's been announced that we have to go back to the office and work there. This will be impossible to manage with DDs childcare setting so the only way will be for my DH to take over both drop offs and pick ups which will mean, to ensure he's there on time, losing 2 hours of work a day. He's self employed so this is a significant amount of money lost every day. I will also lose 2 hours of seeing DD for travel time every day. Not to mention the sudden increased cost in fuel.
I've spoken to my manager and she was completely inflexible and the only solution we could come up with was for me to drop my hours so that I can drop DD off as soon as nursery open, race to work, leave the second the clock strikes 5 to race to pick her up again which frees DH up at least but makes my day a race everyday and costs me a full day a week's pay which works out at nearly £5k a year in bring home pay, not to mention the impact on my pension etc . I can't work full time over 5 days because the nursery don't have availability for her current day off and also, I don't want her going in 5 days a week. Going part time won't even feel like a break for me because I'll literally just be replacing the 2 hours a day working with traveling.
I feel so unbelievably angry at my employer that I work so incredibly hard for them, they know this and my manager said she knows this, but there is no flexibility to allow me to keep working from home when it's going to cause complete devastation to our family set up and financial situation and not in any way shape or form change what they get out of me whilst I'm at work.
I'm trying to find another job but my work is quite niche and there just aren't that many jobs around that pay the same level I'm at now. And I do love my job and don't want to leave it.
I have no problem going back into the office, I just want the option to still be allowed to start and / or finish at home like the job was when I first started and what DH and I planned our situation around before we even had DD.

Can you not go back to your old model of working 'out on the road'? If your employer is wanting to get back to normal , then this is your normal?
Depending on your employer maybe seek forgiveness rather than asking permission.

YABVU.

Count yourself lucky to date that the pandemic allowed you to have flexibility for so long. Now your employer needs you back in the office. That's their decision - nothing "cruel" about it. I'm afraid sorting sustainable childcare atound work patterns is one of the headaches of being a working parent.

Your company seem like they've been fairly accommodating tbh. It's not their problem where you live or what nursery you choose.

If you have an office based contract then your employer is within their rights to ask you to come into the office. Lots of employers are now doing that. There are different tax, insurance and h&s implications to home working that employers generally don't want to grapple with.

We have been "working from home' because of pandemic it is not the same as being a contracted home worker.
I get that lots of people have found that working from home works for them and want to preserve it. Everyone has the right to ask for flexible working - you have - but your employer doesn't have to agree - yours hasn't although they've shown some willingness to look for a solution.

There is a possibility that unlike most people you are in position that actually you never had an office based contract. I am guessing starting/ ending from home wasn't actual work from home but travel time to clients was working time rather than home working. But really you need to see a lawyer to see if its worth arguing.

And then ultimately you need to decide whether you are willing to accept your employers rules or not and if not you need to find a new job. Which is harsh but it is work - and rules are contract law - they do have the power to require things of you (even things you think are dumb) in return for your salary.

It’s SO weird I how MNers sanctimoniously take the employer’s side in these posts and love to point out that some people have it much harder and OP should be grateful for their job. What?? It’s a nuanced discussion! Why not give the OP the benefit of the doubt and assume that they aren’t trying to fleece their employer?? This literally puts me off posting on here when I have a problem-I’m too scared of getting ‘flamed’ by the perfect MNers!

Come on OP, if everything is as you’ve described, you’ve got a good case. Stay on them! Get legal advice. Be calm, persistent and negotiate. Don’t back down, just keep going. I’m HR and the people who get what they want (and I’m talking significant exceptions like arranging remote working from Barcelona when the policy was strictly in-office in Edinburgh) just keep arguing their case up the chain until people get tired of fighting it. Yes, formally escalate through the proper channels but what you really need to do is get the ear of someone very senior. I have noticed that men generally have no problem taking their personal crusades to the top. People who get their way tend to do so because the CEO (or whoever) just doesn’t want to listen to their arguments anymore. This is important to you so fight for it. The one thing that is key is that you must be a good employee that they don’t want to lose.

Could you not just drop 30 mins a day, so you finish at 4.30 and then can make it to nursery pick up for 5.30? Then you're only losing 2 hours a week. Or a childminder would do the same, or grandparents?

I don't agree with a lot of these posters here OP you are entitled to feel annoyed and I don't think the guilt trips are fair that 'at least you still have a job' that's a ridiculous argument. There are workarounds though, but sometimes it's hard to be objective when you're angry.

There's a labour shortage right now so I'd get looking ASAP.

Could you arrange some f2f client meetings that negate the ability to go into the office?

This definitely sounds like a material change to your working conditions. Childcare aside, you previously didn't have to travel to the office, now you do. That's a change.

I think you still have a case for arguing that there is no benefit to being in the office, that you need private space to make those calls and you didn’t work in the office before.

However if still no luck, If you work 7- 5 now and DH drops off, then can’t you still now start at 7 but in the office and leave at 4.30 to pick up in time losing only 30 mins a day (2 hrs a week). Or worst case make up the two hours a week on a Friday whilst dc is napping?

Perhaps once you are back, you can argue that Teams calls are not effective due to the noise in the office?

I think the best employers will be offering flexible wfh options - so maybe 2 days in the office per week got example. If work is being completed well there just is no need for employers to act so ridiculously. Considering the environment and the mental health of employees should trump old fashioned notions that if you can't see someone then they aren't working.

Might be time to start job hunting as this employer seems to be following the words of Mr Johnson, which is never a good thing.

Why do you think your childcare issues is your employers issue

Your childcare issues is yours and yours alone and how you facilitate that is your problem.

The biggest thing that came out of a survey on pandemic working in Ireland was the sense of inequality felt by workers who were child free. I felt really sad when I heard that, because even though I've only recently started back to work I make it my duty for the fact that I have kids not to impact on others in my work but no doubt there will be issues in the future. The term used in my interview was that business interests must always come first and that makes sense. If they have a physical building of course they have to use it! And actually I would have thought being self employed meant the perfect solution? Everyone I know wfh in the pandemic had set nights they worked to make up for childcare. I'm really sorry I have no magic words of wisdom but this is working life, if full time isn't working, maybe you need to consider cut hours. Really sorry, it's all difficult

Would a nursery closer to the office not be wise? I'm sure there would be lots near your work and moving your child would then mean you can pick up.

9-5.30 is a long time to be in nursery 4 days a week I'm not surprised you don't want her in for 5.

That’s absolutely shit, I’m so sorry.

I would ask to see your work’s flexible working policy and check what it actually says. It doesn’t sound like a policy is being followed at present.

I would also put serious work into finding another job. I know you love your job but this is going to cause you so much grief that it can’t be worth it.

It's annoying but (no offence) you're no more special than anyone else. We all have childcare issues and have to work our working lives around them. You were lucky to have done this so long. Gonna have to suck it up like the rest of us

Is it an open plan office? Will your Teams calls be disruptive to others in the office? Or will it even be possible for you to make your calls in the office? Could you argue your case on the basis of practical considerations like that?

Employ someone to to the pick up for you

Or change job. This will send a clear message to companies who’s managers want to be rigid, that you’ll lose staff

@Chicchicchicchiclana

I wouldn't say it is cruel exactly but I'm not sure employers can vary their employees T&Cs so drastically without the employee having the right to appeal? I guess it does come down to what is in your contract.

As a pp said, how do your colleagues feel about it?

Sadly employers can. They just have to have a consultation period, 30 days in this case as 1 employee affected.

Saying that I’m no expert but this is what my union told me when my employer changed my working location to a base 45 miles away! I was told there was nothing I could do….either accept the new conditions or lose my job. 🤷‍♀️

I have no sympathy at all!!!

This is from someone who cannot work from home, has never been able to work from home. Worked full time in my place of work throughout the pandemic!!

Juggles a family too - welcome to the real fucking world!!!

Look for some childcare options locally that are more flexible and also for another job- I don’t think they’re being reasonable

@nodtik Life isn't a competition, if a job can be done from home then why not give employees the flexibility? We desperately need less cars on the road anyway!

I have a lot of sympathy for you OP - they've essentially changed your role from a home/field-based role to an office-based role, and that doesn't work for you at all. It's detrimental to your work/life balance and finances and the environment (commuting), and seemingly has no benefit to the company either.

It looks like you have no option but to start jobhunting and make the best of it in the meantime but it's a crap situation.

Have you actually made a formal flexible working request in writing? Because if you haven't, then I would do this next.

Yanbu, I hate employers who are just not flexible. This is what op has been doing since she got the job, it wasn’t just because of the pandemic.
In your shoes, I think it’ll be best for your DH to do nursery drop off and you do the pick ups. Since it’s 45 minutes away, you can simply start finishing 30 minutes early so you’ll only lose 2 hours a week of work.
Or change nurseries to one closer to one of your places of work. That’ll take away most of the stress that comes with the commute and that person does the drop off and pick up.

Your OP and later posts don’t marry up. If your DH takes DD to nursery in the morning you just need to get up and go to work. Then drop hours slightly for an earlier finish.

I would not be happy at no flexibility at all but presumably the employer is finding overall staff are less productive especially with the compressed hours