What is the most pretentious thing you've seen someone do?

[kinzarose]

Inspired by another thread. When I was at university there was an older lady who thought she was vair posh, was very keen to have her designer labels on display and loved name dropping brands into conversation. We had a group tutorial over lunch once, so we all ate together. This woman took a two foot (yes, literally) wooden salt and pepper mill out of her bag, stood up and started grinding pepper onto the shop bought sandwich she had with her. It was just the most pretentious thing ever, she was a "food snob" apparently 🤣

Puts me in mind of the David Baddiel sketch about his mother - he said if he were drowning in a canal she would shout “help my son the Cambridge graduate is drowning in the canal!”

Ohhh that reminds me of a family friend who mentions her ‘high 2:1 from Cambridge’ as often as she possibly can. So many of her anecdotes start with something like ‘a few years after I left Cambridge, with my high 2:1…’

One of my young cousins graduated from Durham with a First recently and this woman said something like ‘oh well done you! A First! I only got a 2:1 myself although it was a very high 2:1, from Cambridge of course…’

She is nice enough but I sometimes wonder if she feels like she ‘peaked’ at Cambridge and has felt the need to define herself by that achievement ever since. Makes me a little sad for her since she must have graduated at least 40 years ago.

Years ago my ds had a friend back from school. When DCs had friends for dinner I used to just make ‘basic’ food for them - pizza, pasta, fish fingers etc. This time I offered burgers (from a local butcher so literally just a ground beef patty). However, these were declined as the child (aged 8) stated
‘I only eat homemade burgers!’

The child did come from quite a ‘posh’ family although the mum was lovely and very hospitable to us.

@NotPersephone

I was waiting for a draft court order from counsel. It finally arrived by fax (I’m old) and was important so I started speed-reading it out loud to the rest of the team. One of the paragraphs referred to a hearing “in camera” so I read it as the pedestrian English word. (I went to state school and never studied Latin).

Our (insufferably posh, privately educated) trainee made a huge drama of being totally confused, full on throwing her arms up and facial gurning “in what? What on earth did you say?” Someone explained that it meant in a closed room. More theatrics, forehead slapping:”oh you mean in caMEra! Now I understand!” Followed by lots of belly clutching, braying and guffawing. And then some comedy finger guns in my direction.

I mean okay, I pronounced it wrong - but what a pretentious bell-end she was.

I did do Latin at school, and uni, and I’m also a lawyer (a courtroom one, so have had to say the odd bit of legal Latin), and I think I would have said it the way you did. Legal Latin is rarely said the way Latin pronunciation is taught at school, it’s a bit of law unto itself. So while there are‘right’ ways of saying the phrases, no-one should or does give much of a toss, and as I say I think you said it right!

What is certain is that woman was a total and utter bellend. I’m angry on your behalf that she did that to you and hope you laugh about it now.

@twirlinginthesnow

I once accidentally twiddled the 'Title' drop down when I bought something online and i was listed as Dr, rather than the plain old Mrs that i am.

My neighbour took in the parcel for me and when she came over to give it to my husband; he said he'd never seen her so animated!
She barely says 2 words to either of us, but she was my best friend that day.
'Ooh, your wife's a doctor, i had no idea! How wonderful!'

She visibly deflated when he told her the truth and promptly walked away. 🤷🏻‍♀️

She wasn't being pretentious, just snobby, I think.

@Owlink

A young woman came to a club I helped to run years ago. It was her first time there & she took my husband aside to tell him that her dad had been in such & such a band but she didn't want people to know

How on earth could anyone possibly have known, guessed, wondered etc & what on earth made her think anyone would give a tiny rat's ass?

It was a 2 person band so I'd better not disclose but it was quite an underwhelming band into the bargain. People are so funny!

Chaz ‘n Dave.

@MsTSwift

Puts me in mind of the David Baddiel sketch about his mother - he said if he were drowning in a canal she would shout “help my son the Cambridge graduate is drowning in the canal!” 😁

Where I’m from, the local version is ‘My son the ENGINEER is drowning!’

@NotPersephone I did Latin at a very posh school which churned out classicists. We were explicitly taught that Latin is a written language, not a spoken one, and essentially you can pronounce it any way you like. I can't speak about Law, but in terms of Latin as a language, that lady was basically being a Hyacinth Bucket.

Is it pretentious to say I’m not entirely sure everyone here understands what otero means 😂

Between house sale and purchase, (long story, purchase fell through and we didn't want to lose our buyer), we rented a property from the parents of one of DD1's school friends. It was a big, rambling thing but had been used as a restaurant with rooms so had a commercial kitchen installed, plus urinals in the downstairs loo so not really suitable for residential letting but they didn't have the cash flow at the time to renovate/were undecided whether to keep and rent out or sell, plus it was coming into winter so they preferred to have it lived in and heated for the cold months and let us have it for the season at a much reduced rent than it would finally command.
My ex-MIL, terrific snob though she'd deny being such to the ends of the earth, came to visit; the only time in our 30+ year marriage she every deigned to stay with us. She came downstairs in the morning while I was taking the kids to school and, when I returned with the newspaper she'd requested, took the tray of coffee she'd made for herself, and the newspaper, and swept from the kitchen throwing over her shoulder, "if you're wanting me, Fool, I'll be in the drawing room." The drawing room???!!! WTAF?!!

Is it pretentious to say I’m not entirely sure everyone here understands what otero means

Err… well I definitely don’t. Enlighten us?

Google is suggesting a Venezuelan footballer or a property developer in the Costa del Sol.

I’m really enjoying this. I think my favourite is the nanny who had to refer to crumpets as pikelets.

I’d taken my dd aged 4 to our local charity shop to choose something small as a reward for good behaviour. She noses around a bit and then says in a very loud voice ‘mummy there is nothing I want in here. Can we go to John Lewis?’ I nearly died.

@sjxoxo

We bought a real fixer-upper abd a few months later the house next door sold too & we had new neighbours. Their house was not ‘a wreck’ like ours, not fabulous either; but lovable sort of 1980s styling and I was hoping the newbies would spice it up and our houses (once finished) would be lovely together in our road! We were quite excited as previous couple were much much older everything v dated & the new couple were about our age so we thought ‘ooh new friends!’ And invited them round. They paid well over the going rate for the house, we couldn’t believe anyone would pay the outrageous asking price given the house stuck in the 1980s still. When they came we showed them around our house, bit of a ‘work in progress’ before having a drink, and during this the new neighbour wife said to new neighbour husband, in front of us, “still it is quite spacious” which I thought was v rude! She is about ten years younger than the rest of us & I find them so wierd even now. They’ve marked their own parking space outside and lobbied the council to put up a sign saying ‘no parking’ outside their house (it’s rural where we live!). They have finally gotten round to updating the front of their house and we did secretly have a little giggle when we saw their planning application had been refused for a 2m high wall all around the front of their property (like a fort!) and the feedback from the council was to find a ‘more tasteful solution like a green or brown fence that is in keeping with the other properties in the area’ 😁 xo

This makes you sound like waaay more of a wanker than your neighbours, frankly.

@Hdhdjejdj

I’m really enjoying this. I think my favourite is the nanny who had to refer to crumpets as pikelets.

The irony is, they’re two different things.

A young woman came to a club I helped to run years ago. It was her first time there & she took my husband aside to tell him that her dad had been in such & such a band but she didn't want people to know shock
How on earth could anyone possibly have known, guessed, wondered etc & what on earth made her think anyone would give a tiny rat's ass?
It was a 2 person band so I'd better not disclose but it was quite an underwhelming band into the bargain. People are so funny!
If she didn't want people to know, why tell someone?

Some of these posts are not concerning examples of pretentious behaviour, they are simply describing every day occurrences

@sjxoxo

We bought a real fixer-upper abd a few months later the house next door sold too & we had new neighbours. Their house was not ‘a wreck’ like ours, not fabulous either; but lovable sort of 1980s styling and I was hoping the newbies would spice it up and our houses (once finished) would be lovely together in our road! We were quite excited as previous couple were much much older everything v dated & the new couple were about our age so we thought ‘ooh new friends!’ And invited them round. They paid well over the going rate for the house, we couldn’t believe anyone would pay the outrageous asking price given the house stuck in the 1980s still. When they came we showed them around our house, bit of a ‘work in progress’ before having a drink, and during this the new neighbour wife said to new neighbour husband, in front of us, “still it is quite spacious” which I thought was v rude! She is about ten years younger than the rest of us & I find them so wierd even now. They’ve marked their own parking space outside and lobbied the council to put up a sign saying ‘no parking’ outside their house (it’s rural where we live!). They have finally gotten round to updating the front of their house and we did secretly have a little giggle when we saw their planning application had been refused for a 2m high wall all around the front of their property (like a fort!) and the feedback from the council was to find a ‘more tasteful solution like a green or brown fence that is in keeping with the other properties in the area’ 😁 xo

Neighbours were complimentary about your house and have had a planning application refused. They sound DREADFUL.

I like cake forks. I also like coffee spoons with little coffee beans on the end, and fish knives and butter spreaders and those long pickle forks for getting things out of jars. My DM seemingly inherited all the old-fashioned family wedding presents and I feel it's my duty to see them used.

@Nel246

A 22 year old I was having coffee with asked a waitress for a 'small fork' to eat her cake with eventhough she had a normal sized fork already.

And?

I bet you'd ask for a bigger spoon if someone gave you a teaspoon to drink your soup with.

I agree about having cake forks, they allow you to get more in your mouth without looking greedy
Genius design

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Re: business class flights

DH & I had the good fortune to be gifted first class flights to America - I'd never even been upgraded before & so had no idea what it was like. We were totally spoilt in the huge & uber-stylish first class lounge where everything was free, & it didn't take long for me to turn into a pretentious twat: when we went out to queue up for the flight, my first thought was, 'They can't expect us to queue over there with the ordinary people!'. Thank goodness I managed not to say it out loud.

I don't think it's pretentious to think that at all. It's part of a first class experience to get straight to your seat with no impedance. It's the whole point! There should be your own airbridge and ticket check and no queue.

DH and I flew BA First class to LAX and I was raging that they'd fucked up the gates and we had to be bussed to the plane somewhere at the arse end of Heathrow which was essentially a 20 minute bus ride. Not only that but it was a bun fight to the bus with economy passengers and we had to stand the whole way to the plane while a seated child kicked my shins. I was FUMING! DH still refers to it as my princess moment but I think I was extremely restrained! I spent my life with my face in strangers armpits on the tube and I didn't expect it in BA First!
Yes pretentious! I don't care.I wanted to feel a tiny bit special and it ruined it. A bit.

@GatoradeMeBitch

Round where I live - buying period properties and turning them into modern grey and glass monstrosities with huge, naff concrete fountains and fake grass.

Prison grey interiors with fishbowl walls break my heart. I can already see the "how did we let this happen?" articles in ten years time when everyone is trying to restore some character back into their homes.

Same happened in the 60s, when so many people ripped out or boarded up fireplaces once they had central heating, ditto all period features such as cornices and dado rails.
Come the 90s people were busy putting them back again.

A relative telling me she was a "Professor" when in reality she was a part time tutor. unfortunately I told a friend this when I was asked what Ms X did, and I ended up looking a like I was bigging up my relative! Red face.

I went to a friend's house as a child aged about 7 or 8. Nice people but absurdly pretentious. They'd say things like "we picked up a fake Rolex for x daughter when we were in the Far East but of course she couldn't wear it because all her friends have REAL Rolexes". (I think Rolexes were more of a thing then than they are now...)

Anyway, one day said friend gave me a yoghurt and showed me the cutlery drawer so I could grab a teaspoon. I picked an interesting-looking one with a little sticky uppy bit where the spoon met the handle. Friend's mother walked in when we were eating and announced very loudly to her DD: "Why is stuckinaloop eating her yoghurt with a maaaarmelade spoon?"

DM and I had a good laugh about it afterwards.

Waiting in line at our (small and very ordinary) butcher to collect our turkey a few Christmases ago.

The door bursts open, and in comes a young man wearing pink trousers and a hunted expression.

Strides straight to the counter and implores: “Do you have a GOOSE? in a life-or-death tone.

In fairness to him, I think he was genuinely posh rather than pretentious, but it still makes me laugh. I wonder to this day if he managed to track down a goose!