AIBU to buy DS's maths workbook and let him go through it with a calculator?

[TamponSupport]

DS is 11 and struggles in maths. I suspect dyscalculia but the school say not and it's because he has ASD. They will not let him use a calculator until he is at secondary school, whereas I remember having one when I was 9!
He can't hold numbers in his head and mixes up place value.
After another batch of count the petals (one petal; 10 petals to a flower; ten flowers to a bunch) which he keeps getting wrong and has resulted into two days of tantrums and screen time bans, I think he is also bored with it and hates that he can't do it. We've tried writing it down, but he has difficulty with getting everything into he right columns.

I also think he's been very limited in his exposure to maths because the TA won't move on to the next topic until he has learnt the one he has done. then spends so long on the next topic he's forgotten the one he did before and they have to start from the beginning again

Would it be totally crazy to buy the school books, and let him go through them at home with a calculator so he can see that a) being able to count in your head is not the be all and end all and b) there is more interesting stuff out there than petal counting?

YANBU buy the damned book
YABU the TA knows what's she's doing

Have the Ed psych assessments been LA ones or private ones? Generally a private assessment is far more thorough and should give a very clear idea on needs and provision required to meet those needs.

It sounds like your DS is stuck and not making any progress, repeating the same thing over and over clearly isn’t helping and he needs a different way of working. Personally I would give him a calculator and do as you proposed as it will at least give him some confidence and variety in maths.

Thank you for this thread. I have a year 7 who struggles with timetables and mental maths. He still uses fingers a lot! Difference is that he did learn the timetables before lockdown 1 but has struggled to get them back (he had ASD, ADHD and dyspraxia). I have brought the book recommended for timetables, it might be a bit young for him but at this point I don’t care, i just want to make things easier for him.

My youngest is in Year 4 and is struggling (undiagnosed due to delays with Covid), so I can use some of these tips to potential help him.

Sometimes with my eldest I would say, you show me you know what you need to do and I will help with the mental maths. This must be similar to using the calculator. It helped him to be able to move on and do the work and not get frustrated or upset. Once he is upset there is no learning happening at all.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia at school and simply couldn't learn my tables, I'd learn one set and then simply have forgotten them the next day.

School basically gave up on teaching me maths at primary school.

My DF who had studied maths at University was very puzzled by my struggles. However he decided to teach me mathematics without mental arithmetic. We did this for several years, I learned the theory behind lots of maths, the history of maths, lots of equations with letters, used a printed out times table and a calculator.

It worked well I got back on track with maths, got more confidence and by the time we got to taking exams got a good if not stellar pass.

My dad was very clear that counting was a very small part of mathematics. I'm very clear that just repeatedly getting a dc to do the same failing learning strategies is daft. Like repeatedly banging your head on a bread wall and expecting something other than a sore head.

Brick wall, not bread.
Bread would be quite soft!

Depends who cooked it

He can repeat three digits backwards.

Two private, two LA ones. Most recent private that the school don't want to take any notice of. The latest LA one said the foundations for mathematical knowledge were there and that he should be able to learn maths. (TA doesn't agree)

Three backwards and five forwards is decent for a child.
I would say, therefore, get on to the other tHings in maths that aren't number to get him more interested. Give number a break and then use the tens and units blocks and number lines. For tables we started DD counting in twos as rote learning and she's quite good now so we're going to go on to 5s next.

@TamponSupport

Depends who cooked it

He can repeat three digits backwards.

Two private, two LA ones. Most recent private that the school don't want to take any notice of. The latest LA one said the foundations for mathematical knowledge were there and that he should be able to learn maths. (TA doesn't agree)

OP I'm so sorry. Some of the replies in this thread are actually quite sad and suggest that your son is either stupid or that not understanding x thing automatically leads to not understanding y thing or to be completely useless in the future etc.

Regardless of the cause of your son's issue, I just wanted to post here to tell you that I also have ASD and also struggle with mental arithmetic, counting and visualising. When I play monopoly, I have to put my finger on the boxes and count out loud the way children do, as I can't do it any other way. I use a calculator for 1+2 as I get things muddled up in my head and simply cannot keep that information in the brain and do anything about it.

I also have an A-level in maths and took some maths modules at university level. Mental arithmetic isn't the be all and end all of mathematics. If your child was visually impaired and couldn't read letters, would the advice be to just keep at it because letters are how you read books? Of course not. You'd try braille and other aids. This is the same thing.

I hope that you find a solution that works for your son. I can't count the number of times I've been told that I'm stupid, or just obstinate, because I didn't understand something 'really simple'. Well, in my case, I literally can't count.

Sending you lots of love OP.