My family have never invited/made us Christmas dinner since we started our family 8 years ago. But there's an expectation for them to come to ours if we're having it at home.
My grandmother expects it every year and declines all other invites from othe people, patiently awaiting her invite from us and if we don't invite, she eventually asks. My mother lives 100 miles away and will visit the whole family at Christmas time- my siblings, itger grandchildren and my grandmother and will assume she's having Christmas dinner with us on the years we don't go to my inlaws. My siblings never invite my mum for Christmas dinner. My Dad is really difficult to cater for and is separated from my mum- they seem to hate each other so if I invite one but not the other, there's a massive undercurrent of annoyance and resentment.
My mum always says she'll help with the dinner but is always running late frok visiting other family members so doesn't. Frankly, I'm fed up of being in the kitchen on Christmas day when we don't go to my inlaws and missing out on my young children. I'm stuck in the kitchen most years and I'm also tired of entertaining my family who never offer to cook Christmas dinner for us.
My mum and grandmother have already assumed they're coming over for Christmas again this year and I'd just like a year of not having to worry about entertaining anyone, not worrying about offending anyone and having a turkey sandwich for lunch instead, should we want to! We probably will have a proper Christmas dinner but I just don't want the pressure of having to have one.
My inlaws never pressure for coming to us for Christmas dinner and will offer to cook a nice meal for us sone years, but my family are takers and I'm a bit fed up of it.
AIBU to say nobody for Christmas dinner? Even if my mum has travelled to visit everyone on the day? I know that if we don't ask her to come for dinner, nobody will but that's wgere it begins to snowball and others want to come too. Before you know it, we're saying "another won't hurt" but actually it does and it's draining.