Is it normal to feel nothing during sex?

[soapybubblesandviolet]

I’ve been with my DP for three years and we have a toddler. At first the sex was good but I have never felt how I felt with my last partner during sex, where it was intimate and passionate and I was really ‘into it.’

A lot of the time I do it out of habit and when I do do it, though it feels good, emotionally I feel quite numb. I also hate kissing my partner during it because sometimes he goes up to a month without brushing his teeth (yes, really, and yes, I’ve spoken to him about it multiple times.)

When he’s done, he walks off to clean up and then I’m sort of just left. He rarely focuses on me and if he does, he just kind of sits there looking bored which makes me feel quite uncomfortable so I just give up on trying to get off.

I can’t Orgasm through penetrative sex, only through clitoral stimulation - and I can’t remember the last time I did.

He’s great in other regards, very caring, a good dad, a good laugh. We rarely argue or have disagreements. But in bed it’s just passionless.

Am I doomed to have emotionless sex forever?

I used to be married to someone who wasn't interested in getting me anywhere during sex and whose personal hygiene slipped after a while. He was perfectly nice, we got on well. But I just couldn't do it anymore after a few years, the ick had started to set in and I started looking elsewhere without realising it.

My point is, sooner or later you will get to a point when you hit a wall and just won't put up with it anymore. The fact that you're posting about it says a lot.

You have every right to leave and meet your MGK, it's not easy with a child and a shared life. But plenty of people do and are so much happier for it. Good luck!

@TurnipTales I feel like I’m you. So sorry you went through that and happy you got out. I think I’m hitting my wall now, tbh. If we didn’t have a child, I’d be out this minute.

I’m surprised you feel nothing...I feel physically sick just from your description.

[quote soapybubblesandviolet]@TurnipTales I feel like I’m you. So sorry you went through that and happy you got out. I think I’m hitting my wall now, tbh. If we didn’t have a child, I’d be out this minute.[/quote]
It's not easy, but I'm so much happier now and have experienced things I never thought possible. The feeling of freedom and relief when I had just moved into my new flat after leaving was exhilarating! You need lots of support from family and friends, and I really hope you do whatever makes you happy (don't forget, this will also make your child happy in the long run!).

A MONTH? Ewwwwwwww.

I can see why you’d be emotionless and detached from it. That’s so disgusting. I don’t really like to kiss DH with morning breath, let alone 29 day breath. If he can’t be arsed to brush I wonder what else he can’t be arsed to do.

He's disgusting.

Stop having sex with him until he sorts his mouth out as in dentist and brushing 2x a day and flossing for at least a month.

With sex, he gets nothing until you get yours.

Have my first ever LTB.

Give yourself permission to leave, despite the child (we had one also). This isn't going to change, you need to be the one to call a stop.