Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s unfair single-sex schools aren’t an option for many (perhaps even most)?

408 replies

patienceandprudence · 02/10/2021 22:59

I have one single sex state school (and in fact there is only one private) in my county. It is in the county town, which we are not in the catchment for. It would take an hour and half to get to by public transport anyway.

Since it has been proven many times over that girls do better in single sex schools, why on earth aren’t there more options for those of us not in 11+ counties? I think it’s a great shame, and it doesn’t seem to be a thing that’s even being thought about.

OP posts:
Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 10:25

@postingfortraffichere

YABU, short sighted and ignorant.

Sheltering your daughter from the world keeping her away from boys isn't going to help - predators are always going to be around whether she goes to all girls school or not.

You need to find other ways to deal with it

Yes yes OP find other ways to deal with the rise in sexual harassment and abuse in schools - you dds must not be sheltered from this! They need to experience this so that are totally acclimatised and conditioned for womanhood.
SheldontheWonderSchlong · 03/10/2021 10:27

@postingfortraffichere

YABU, short sighted and ignorant.

Sheltering your daughter from the world keeping her away from boys isn't going to help - predators are always going to be around whether she goes to all girls school or not.

You need to find other ways to deal with it

Surely sheltering my young daughter from the world is exactly what I should be doing as a parent!!

Also, there will obviously be far fewer 'predators' at an all-girls school.

SirSamuelVimes · 03/10/2021 10:28

I would like to have the choice between an all girls' school where my daughters may experience bullying and bitchiness and mixed sex school where my daughters may experience sexual harassment, abuse and rape.

Moonface123 · 03/10/2021 10:31

My eldest son applied to joined the armed forces at 15 years, 9 months, l am so glad he didn't get in now (due to his ezema, ) reading all the never ending teenage boy bashing on here, it's so boring and ignorant.

SheldontheWonderSchlong · 03/10/2021 10:32

@postingfortraffichere

YABU, short sighted and ignorant.

Sheltering your daughter from the world keeping her away from boys isn't going to help - predators are always going to be around whether she goes to all girls school or not.

You need to find other ways to deal with it

Also, oh wise one, any chance you could give us a heads-up on what the other ways to deal with it are?
aSofaNearYou · 03/10/2021 10:33

@postingfortraffichere

YABU, short sighted and ignorant.

Sheltering your daughter from the world keeping her away from boys isn't going to help - predators are always going to be around whether she goes to all girls school or not.

You need to find other ways to deal with it

For me it's not about avoiding predators. It's about the way boys dominate the learning environment and the continued cultural bias that allows that to happen.
funinthesun19 · 03/10/2021 10:35

Also I would like a money tree in the garden. that's not going to happen either. Ever

Well I guess all girls in co ed are doomed then.

Shall we just separate all males and females everywhere and just be done with it?

SheldontheWonderSchlong · 03/10/2021 10:35

@Moonface123

My eldest son applied to joined the armed forces at 15 years, 9 months, l am so glad he didn't get in now (due to his ezema, ) reading all the never ending teenage boy bashing on here, it's so boring and ignorant.
What has that got to do with single sex schools?

Also, I have a teenage boy. That doesn't stop me from acknowledging that teenage boys as a group of people represent a threat to teenage girls.

postingfortraffichere · 03/10/2021 10:36

So you think postponing interacting with boys is the solution? I know people that went to all girls schools and what happens often is they are so desperate to get attention from boys due to lack of it they turn wild when leaving school - did OP consider that?

Other ways to deal with it means prepping her for the world - what happens when OPs daughter leaves school and interacts with boys for the first time? Do you really think being kept away from them is going to help her. Boys aren't going to suddenly disappear when she gets to 16.

How is keeping her away from boys sustainable long term? It's silly.

I also find the thread ridiculous to be honest and childish.

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 10:37

Shall we just separate all males and females everywhere and just be done with it?

Oh the irony...

funinthesun19 · 03/10/2021 10:38

Oh the irony...

Do explain.

Whatwouldscullydo · 03/10/2021 10:38

I used to think that they were unnatural environment and that they learnt to deal with boys.

But now I realise learning to deal with boys simply means learning to deal with mainstreaming on desks, class disruption, being sat between two boys twice your size as a form of behaviour management and constantly being reminded that when something meeds carrying/moving that only boys are strong enough to do it.

The only reason we don't have more girls schools is because boys do better in mixed schools. The active choice has been made to prioritise boys.

All schools have bullying problems and more effort should go into dealing with it whether that's in a single sex or co Ed school.

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 10:39

@postingfortraffichere

So you think postponing interacting with boys is the solution? I know people that went to all girls schools and what happens often is they are so desperate to get attention from boys due to lack of it they turn wild when leaving school - did OP consider that?

Other ways to deal with it means prepping her for the world - what happens when OPs daughter leaves school and interacts with boys for the first time? Do you really think being kept away from them is going to help her. Boys aren't going to suddenly disappear when she gets to 16.

How is keeping her away from boys sustainable long term? It's silly.

I also find the thread ridiculous to be honest and childish.

It hilarious that people actually think that girls that go to all girls school literally never encounter any males out of school.

Its also really fucking sad that people think girls need to be socialised with boys so they are 'not gagging 'for it when they leave school.

Have a word with yourself

postingfortraffichere · 03/10/2021 10:40

Segregation of any type is not the answers to a problem and I find it sad some posters think it is - should we separate black, asian and white children because of racism? Or heterosexuals and gay people because of hate crimes? Why is gender different?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 03/10/2021 10:41

*Stop it. Is this just the same 'but women can rape too'?

The percentage of girl on girl sexual assault is minuscule compared to male on female.*

I was regularly sexually abused by a girl outside of school time who went on the ringlead bullying me during school. But I know I am an anomaly and no one will give a shit about that so don’t worry.

Original poster
patienceandprudence · 03/10/2021 10:41

It’s madness that people think girls become nicer due to a mixed sex environment, there’s plenty of nastiness, often over boys who couldn’t care less what they’re doing to the girl’s friendships. Also, boys can be nasty too. My eldest DD was bullied incessantly by a group of boys.

OP posts:
postingfortraffichere · 03/10/2021 10:41

@Evesgarden I'm talking from experience / of friends that went to all girls schools, I'm not suggesting every girl at an all girls school goes wild when leaving.

Have a word with yourself why don't you

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/10/2021 10:42

Dd goes to an all girls comp - we’re in an outer London borough that is not a grammar school area (next to a couple but the schools are quite a schlep)

I didn’t pick it to apply for specifically because it’s single sex but because it is very good - but perhaps the being single sex plays a part in that. She does really love it, and finds it an easier environment to put her hand up confidently etc. No worries about being mocked by boys etc.

Secondary school options for boys within an easy distance are slim pickings though!

postingfortraffichere · 03/10/2021 10:42

@aSofaNearYou how do boys dominate the learning environment?

funinthesun19 · 03/10/2021 10:43

Segregation of any type is not the answers to a problem and I find it sad some posters think it is - should we separate black, asian and white children because of racism? Or heterosexuals and gay people because of hate crimes? Why is gender different?

Completely agree.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 03/10/2021 10:43

sex not gender.

And yes the idea that girls in single sex schools never encounter boys ever ever ever between the ages of 11 & 18 and so will enter grown up world with no idea of how to deal with them is bizzare

Rummikubfan · 03/10/2021 10:44

I totally disagree. I think co-Ed is vitally important and have had nothing but positive experiences with it for my children. My daughter has not experienced any negatives from boys in her school and both my children see each sex as absolute equals educationally socially and emotionally.

Evesgarden · 03/10/2021 10:46

@funinthesun19

Oh the irony...

Do explain.

We do have segregated spaces for safety but sadly even those are now being encroached my males. Hospital wards, prisons, toilets, changing rooms, rape crisis centers - these were put in place for the safety of women but are now under attack from men wanting access to those safe spaces.

Yet wanting our dds to go in to education in a single sex space send people in to a froth despite the alarming figures of sexual assaults and harassment in schools - even in primary. The truth is too much to bear for some people so they just deny deny deny and push that schools should be coed so girls can learn how to cope and behave around boys.

Why the fuck should they have to?

postingfortraffichere · 03/10/2021 10:46

@Theeyeballsinthesky no I meant gender.

And I'm not suggesting girls would never ever encounter boys going to an all girls school, but obviously the amount of time they do would be drastically reduced - as you're at school for likely 30 hours+ a week that's a lot of your time when you are a child.

Interaction with boys would for most people be very few and far between if at a boys school.

FancySomeChips · 03/10/2021 10:47

Girls do better in single sex schools.

Right there is your answer. That’s why there aren’t very many.

I agree there should be a choice, and mixed is good for some children mostly boys, but currently most families don’t enjoy a choice as there isn’t accessibility for all nationwide.