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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected an apology from the GP?

168 replies

homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 14:19

I had a face to face appointment with my GP this morning. The appointment was at 10am but they were running late, and I was finally called in at 10.45am. The GP didn't even mention the fact I'd had to sit around for 45 minutes, and barely acknowledged me when I came into the room - she gave me a quick glance, said "What's the issue" and then turned straight back to her screen whilst I explained.

I know doctors are very busy, but AIBU to have expected a simple "Sorry for the wait, how can I help?"

OP posts:
AllWaxedOut · 01/10/2021 14:22

Yep, bloody rude!

I'm busy in my job too, it's no excuse.

Mercurial123 · 01/10/2021 14:23

YABU. You are lucky to even get an appointment. My oncologist was 4 hours late calling me. I was just happy to speak to him. I didn't get an apology but I wasn't expecting one.

PlanDeRaccordement · 01/10/2021 14:24

It would not bother me at all. Saying “sorry for the wait” is a polite nothing anyway.

NotPersephone · 01/10/2021 14:24

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Fluffypastelslippers · 01/10/2021 14:25

You are lucky to even get an appointment.

Can we stop this? It's unhelpful bollocks.

LaBellina · 01/10/2021 14:29

Yes, very rude.
They sound either very overworked or just have bad manners. Either way this isn’t a way to treat your patients. I wouldn’t feel comfortable opening up about difficult/embarrassing stuff if I was approached in this matter about ‘my issue’.
My former GP used to sit on his desk, look me in the eyes and ask “Well LaBellina, how are you and how can I help you”?
A kind and personal approach goes a long way and is not very difficult.

Original poster
homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 14:31

I wouldn’t feel comfortable opening up about difficult/embarrassing stuff if I was approached in this matter about ‘my issue’.

I was actually there to talk about something difficult, and found it very hard as she barely took her eyes off her screen Sad She seemed to be typing away the whole time I was talking though, so perhaps she was just trying to save time?

OP posts:
BeepingBB · 01/10/2021 14:34

It's very likely that it's not the GPs fault.

I wouldn't go to a GP appt expecting it to be on time.

I suppose they could apologise if they wanted to but they probably didn't have much control over the delay.

pelosi · 01/10/2021 14:36

I voted YABU as I doubt they deliberately made you late and the NHS and GPs are under strain.

Also, if they acknowledge they were late, you may be more likely to complain.

I get some treatment privately through work's health insurance, and the consultant there does apologise if they're late.

endofagain · 01/10/2021 14:36

There is one GP like this at my surgery. I just won't see her and I tell the receptionist why. The others are all lovely.
I know it is really difficult though at the moment.

LaBellina · 01/10/2021 14:37

Did you manage to talk about it with her eventually OP? I hope you have gotten the help you need Flowers

pelosi · 01/10/2021 14:38

@homewardbound2

I wouldn’t feel comfortable opening up about difficult/embarrassing stuff if I was approached in this matter about ‘my issue’.

I was actually there to talk about something difficult, and found it very hard as she barely took her eyes off her screen Sad She seemed to be typing away the whole time I was talking though, so perhaps she was just trying to save time?

That's not nice at all, I would complain about that.
Snufkin2 · 01/10/2021 14:39

@NotPersephone

Yes that is rude. But GP is a shitshow rn.
An apology would have been good but this is also unhelpful bollocks.
WhyOhWhyOhWhyyyy · 01/10/2021 14:41

The lack of apology for lateness wouldn’t bother me so much, but her general demeanour would have. How can GPs expect patients to open up about difficult ‘issues’ if they can’t even make eye contact.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/10/2021 14:41

I’m sure it wasn’t that individual GP’s fault, but surely it’s common courtesy in any job just to say “sorry for the wait”?

When you get through to a call centre you don’t imagine it’s the individuals fault you’ve had to wait either!

Mercurial123 · 01/10/2021 14:42

@Fluffypastelslippers

You are lucky to even get an appointment.

Can we stop this? It's unhelpful bollocks.

So is your post. I know someone who died because he couldn't see a doctor. My mother was also waiting a long time.
Original poster
homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 14:42

Also, if they acknowledge they were late, you may be more likely to complain.

Really? That seems strange logic to me. Whether they acknowledge it or not, that they were 45 minutes late is a fact.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 01/10/2021 14:42

Whether they have control Iver the delay or not is irrelevant. 30 mins, yes fine. More than that "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting". I also think it was inappropriate not to focus their attention on the patient before them.

I think much of the NHS has lost all regard for basic courtesy. We shouldn't be grateful for sub-optimal clinical or pastoral care. It isn't free, it's free at the point of delivery.

Our GP is very good but annoys me that her staff (and some of the salaried doctors) assume they may use my first name whilst introducing themselves or referring to the Dr with a title.

If it's Roses the Dr should be Alison. If the Dr is referred to or wants to be called Dr Hickey it's Mrs Hellebores. Anything else is not just discourteous, it's reductive.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/10/2021 14:45

Did you get help with this issue that brought you in?

Sorry it was a long wait and a crap start to the appointment.

The NHS, including GPs, are there to serve us, not the other way round. People forget we all pay for it, no one is doing us a bloody favour.

Original poster
homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 14:49

Did you get help with this issue that brought you in?

I did get a prescription yes, but she wasn't initially sure what to prescribe. Fortunately I'd done a huge amount of research before going into the appointment, so was able to suggest a widely used drug for my condition that I thought would help. She then said oh yes, we can give that a try if you like. I'm glad I came away with a prescription but it wasn't the best experience!

OP posts:
CTR1000 · 01/10/2021 14:49

I think it’s fair enough to expect an apology. I’m a doctor and apologise when I’m running significantly over.

Most patients are lovely and very accepting of the apology. Ironically the ones that aren’t are often the ones that go on to discuss thei issues for 20 mins in an appointment that lasts 10 mins!

TheOrigRights · 01/10/2021 14:50

YANBU.
Am pretty sure GPs are meant to have basic manners and to make eye contact. Imagine if that was a trainee GP being observed. Surely it would be an immediate fail. Or are they so desperate to recruit, basic manners and how to make your patients feel at ease doesn't matter any more?

An apology could be in the form of "I'm sorry you had to wait", which doesn't implicate them (if that's what anyone's worried about).

HebalGerbil · 01/10/2021 14:51

Busy is not an acceptable excuse for being an impolite human being in any other tough job of life situation.

That so many doctors, and a fair few nurses to be frank, think themselves so above mere mortals to the point of rudeness helps no one.

It can dent patient confidence in the medical profession as a whole in my experience.

Being made to feel like you are an inconvenience because you are unwell is not nice.
It's also a horrible thing to do to another human, to make them feel bad about themselves, in such a way whether a doctor or not.

madisonbridges · 01/10/2021 14:51

I think the deal is with all medical practices (not my dentist!) Is that you go at a certain time and they see you whenever. I doubt they want to be running late. It's polite to say sorry for your wait, and manners cost nothing. If till operators say it, I don't see why doctors and nurses can't. I think they usually do at my GPs. Not so sure about the hospital. But as long as they sort out my problem, it's not something I think about once I've left the surgery.

Musicaltheatremum · 01/10/2021 14:53

@homewardbound2

I had a face to face appointment with my GP this morning. The appointment was at 10am but they were running late, and I was finally called in at 10.45am. The GP didn't even mention the fact I'd had to sit around for 45 minutes, and barely acknowledged me when I came into the room - she gave me a quick glance, said "What's the issue" and then turned straight back to her screen whilst I explained.

I know doctors are very busy, but AIBU to have expected a simple "Sorry for the wait, how can I help?"

I always try to apologise if I'm late. It's good manners but I have to admit the job is horrendous just now and often my mind is on the mountain of tasks I have to do before the end of the day, or might have just come from a difficult phone call and be mulling it over or trying to think what to do with another patient.

Some days I'm actually trying not to cry it's so bad. So yes it's bad the GP didn't apologise but I'm sure I may have forgotten that too it could have been a one off.