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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected an apology from the GP?

168 replies

homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 14:19

I had a face to face appointment with my GP this morning. The appointment was at 10am but they were running late, and I was finally called in at 10.45am. The GP didn't even mention the fact I'd had to sit around for 45 minutes, and barely acknowledged me when I came into the room - she gave me a quick glance, said "What's the issue" and then turned straight back to her screen whilst I explained.

I know doctors are very busy, but AIBU to have expected a simple "Sorry for the wait, how can I help?"

OP posts:
Leftbutcameback · 01/10/2021 14:53

Like others have said the lack of eye contact would bother me a lot more. I guess it's also possible that the GP was so busy they didn't even realise how late it was. One of our GPs at our practice used to do the typing and no eye contact thing. My OH changed because of it.

Original poster
homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 14:54

I guess it's also possible that the GP was so busy they didn't even realise how late it was.

That's a possibility I hadn't considered!

OP posts:
rwalker · 01/10/2021 14:55

I can honestly say some of the rudest people I've encounter are in the NHS.

Leftbutcameback · 01/10/2021 14:56

It is one reason I like telephone appointments where there is no need for an in-person one. I can get on with my work until the phone rings rather than sit in a surgery and have to make up the work time later. Appreciate I'm lucky to be able to chose whether it's face to face or on the phone.

Viviennemary · 01/10/2021 14:58

Its probably as much as we can expect from the NHS these days.

Phonelightmidnight · 01/10/2021 14:58

It’s not the gps fault though

iamprobablynotyourcupoftea · 01/10/2021 15:00

You're lucky your surgery is doing face to face.
Ours still isn't open. Just phone appointment. However, some Gp's are unfortunately like that and have very bad bedside manners.

Once I thought I was in the wrong room, because he just stared at me for five minutes. Another most recent constultant May as well have told me to fuck off.

I've had so much experience with gps that I know the good and the bad now Hmm

trama · 01/10/2021 15:06

YANBU. It's basic courtesy to apologise if you've kept someone waiting, even if it wasn't directly your fault. Manners cost nothing.

hashbrownsandwich · 01/10/2021 15:06

I am clinical and see patients, I am always typing while they talk but I do tell them that's what I'll be doing. Obviously if they break down I stop. Fact is we are given circa 10 minutes for a consultation, to write notes which are legally binding including coded journals and also to prescribe or request a senior to prescribe if required.
Some GPs get 7 minute slots.

I don't apologise for being late, most of the time it's because something more pressing has come up.

The other day I had a patient kick off that I was 10 minute late for her appointment for something very routine (think superficial dressing change). I had to really hold back on telling her actually running late because I was dealing with someone who woke up to find their husband had passed away next to them in bed.

FlowerArranger · 01/10/2021 15:10

GP appointments are very short. Whilst an apology may be nice it also opens the door for potential time-wasting chit-chat. In my experience, the doctors who are most often late are those who take extra time if a patient's particular issues require extra time. Which is a good thing.

Doctors routinely update patients' notes while the patient is explaining why they're there. Again, it saves time. The crucial thing is what they do afterwards. Did the doctor look at you and engage? Did she seem to have taken in what you told her?

In this instance she appears to have listened to you and treated you as an equal partner in the decision about your treatment, even if her manner was somewhat brusque.

sjxoxo · 01/10/2021 15:10

I think YANBU but I’ve had waits of up to 2 hours to see my gp!! Once I left as I couldn’t wait any longer. The secretary was so rude didn’t offer me a new appointment even. Xo

bloodywhitecat · 01/10/2021 15:15

That's nothing. A couple of months ago DH had an telephone appointment with his oncologist at 11.15 on a Friday morning, three weeks later DH was still waiting. We had to go through PALS in the end and kick up one hell of a stink.

You are right though, a "Sorry I am running late" costs nothing and means a lot.

TidyOmlette · 01/10/2021 15:16

Did you think for a second what could have made the GP run late? There could have been a real medical emergency or someone could have been having a mental health issue which needed more time than originally booked.

People forget GP’s are human too and also have bad days.

madisonbridges · 01/10/2021 15:16

@hashbrownsandwich. I appreciate that you see awful things, that you're under pressure and that it's not your fault you're running late. I hadn't previously thought that my trivial concerns were so trying for gps but I do often apologise for going and always thank them at the end of the consult so I hope that makes up for my thoughtlessness. But staff at my gps do apologise for running late (for which I always say, no problem) so hopefully they are unlike you in other ways as well, such as not being dismissive of my minor complaints.

holidaynearlyover · 01/10/2021 15:18

I'm still waiting for my econsult form to be looked at now over a week ago.

I am currently on hold, have been for 15 mins, started at 10th in the queue and am now 5th. The state of general practice is a shambles and disgrace, something needs to change. Perhaps if Drs had actually seen people during lockdown we wouldn't be in as much mess as we are now.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/10/2021 15:18

@TidyOmlette

Did you think for a second what could have made the GP run late? There could have been a real medical emergency or someone could have been having a mental health issue which needed more time than originally booked.

People forget GP’s are human too and also have bad days.

Likewise, OP could have been psyching herself up for weeks to even request an appointment and be in the middle of a serious crisis, in need of care and consideration. Yes the GP may have had a bad day but they’re the professional and OP is the patient and she deserves the basics of common decency.
Tilltheend99 · 01/10/2021 15:20

@Fluffypastelslippers

You are lucky to even get an appointment.

Can we stop this? It's unhelpful bollocks.

This exactly

Accepting substandard public services and telling people to be grateful just allows councils and the Government to keep reducing funding and cutting vital lifelines.

It is only usually well off people who can’t possibly imagine other people getting value from a service they don’t use. Eventually they will get to cutting something important to you that effects your family then you will kick up the biggest stink ever!

Tilltheend99 · 01/10/2021 15:26

The typing thing; all the GPS at my practice do this as they are typing what your medical problem is in your medical notes and any family history and symptoms you give. They are also some times searching info on different conditions and medicines you double check symptoms and side effects etc so I wouldn’t complain about that as is literally her doing her job but I agree she should be more welcoming to put you at ease.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 01/10/2021 15:27

@Mercurial123

YABU. You are lucky to even get an appointment. My oncologist was 4 hours late calling me. I was just happy to speak to him. I didn't get an apology but I wasn't expecting one.
I don't agree with this at all.

We have the right to demand a decent standard of healthcare, and raise concerns when service is poor. We should not be grateful for any scraps the NHS is prepared to grant us.

If it's not good enough, you speak up and you complain. You don't put up with all sorts of shoddy treatment because - the NHS.

Boomshakalakaaaaa · 01/10/2021 15:30

A problem with the NHS is that because it's free at the point of use patients aren't treated like customers. I've never had a GP apologise to me for running late despite them never being on time. You'd expect this courtesy in any other environment where you were receiving a service from someone so not sure why we just accept it from GPs. It also annoys me when they don't stop looking at their screen to talk to you. But it's the NHS so you can't whinge about it of course.

Tilltheend99 · 01/10/2021 15:31

At my surgery docs were seeing patients throughout the pandemic just more spaced out throughout the day to allow for social distancing. If anything they would have been busier than ever.

Nat6999 · 01/10/2021 15:31

There ie a doctor at my surgery who doesn't even look up when you walk in the room, never makes eye contact & insists on hammering the keyboard right through the consultation, he even does this on a telephone appointment, I'm autistic & the noise stops me from being able to pay attention to what is being said. I have refused to have any kind of appointment with him.

luckylavender · 01/10/2021 15:34

@Fluffypastelslippers - why is it unhelpful bollocks? My elderly parents (late and early 80s) live in South Wales and have been unable to see their GPs (different practices) since the beginning of the pandemic. They have both needed medical help and been unable to get it. I live in the SE and our practice is under Special Measures and it's impossible to get an appointment. Online services are suspended. My husband tried to call every morning and afternoon for a week a couple of weeks ago and had in the end to decide to live with his dodgy shoulder. I'm sure some people have different experiences but my experience is that the system is absolutely broken. It's terrifying.

AveryGoodlay · 01/10/2021 15:34

the NHS and GPs are under strain So is the whole of the care sector. Understaffed and underpaid. In my care home we still do our jobs, look after residents, deal with families and GPs etc and manage to be kind and caring and attend to needs in a timely manner. If we didn't we'd be hauled over the coals. Fine if it's the NHS though!

luckylavender · 01/10/2021 15:36

I wouldn't care if a GP didn't observe social niceties at this point if appointments were available.