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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected an apology from the GP?

168 replies

homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 14:19

I had a face to face appointment with my GP this morning. The appointment was at 10am but they were running late, and I was finally called in at 10.45am. The GP didn't even mention the fact I'd had to sit around for 45 minutes, and barely acknowledged me when I came into the room - she gave me a quick glance, said "What's the issue" and then turned straight back to her screen whilst I explained.

I know doctors are very busy, but AIBU to have expected a simple "Sorry for the wait, how can I help?"

OP posts:
IrishMel · 01/10/2021 18:05

I am glad you got sorted. I had to see doctor and felt I could not even talk to him and cannot find another doctor in the area. Luckily the WellWoman Centre got me an appointment and seeing a lovely female doctor for peri-menopause who listens and explains and understands. So difficult when you feel you are not listened to and when you are at your most vulnerable. Am sorry if my post did not seem caring before. Did not mean that but just find older male doctor's rude and entitled. Take care and wish you the best

Looubylou · 01/10/2021 18:31

I imagine she is very strapped for time, hence the typing as you speak. I would at the very least expect a more caring/interested start to the appt, and then an explanation/apology for having to type as you talk. Mine starts to type only after getting the gist of my problem. Stress/ridiculous time constraints does strange things to people though. They've also got very used to telephone consultations, maybe her face to face communication skills have deteriorated as a result of that too. My biggest complaint is you are only allowed to talk about one thing per appointment. If you have to have seperate appointments, for every problem, with different doctors, how do they join the dots so to speak/recognise patterns and links in symptoms. No wonder people with things like lupus etc go for years before getting a diagnosis.

Notmoresugar · 01/10/2021 18:34

YANBU
There's never an excuse for rudeness and bad manners.

SheSaidHummingbird · 01/10/2021 18:53

This is my experience every time, never any word of apology.

DamnUserName21 · 01/10/2021 18:55

YANBU.
I always apologise if I run late even though the reasons aren't my fault (work in healthcare).

Guavaf1sh · 01/10/2021 18:55

It’s not the GPs fault so why should they apologise?!?

SheSaidHummingbird · 01/10/2021 18:55

It has to be said that the receptionists or 'Care Navigators' eye roll are the incredibly rude, so by the time I get into the appointment, the lack of apology doesn't faze me.

DamnUserName21 · 01/10/2021 18:57

@Guavaf1sh

It’s not the GPs fault so why should they apologise?!?
No, it's down to previous patients (and their issues) but it is still common courtesy, especially when 45mins late.
Bookridden · 01/10/2021 18:58

Read the thread with interest, and I understand that GPs have to make notes. What sort of things go in the notes, though? Do they ever make personal observations such as: patient was rude, uncooperative etc etc. Bet some people's notes make for interesting reading, lol

eeyore228 · 01/10/2021 18:59

Why on earth do people feel the need to ask for validation on crap like this. It usually starts up a GP/NHS bashing thread. Be an adult and make a complaint if it bothers you that much or move on. Do you really need people to pat you on the back and tell you the GP is just vile that badly?

cptartapp · 01/10/2021 19:00

Yes it's rude.
But the number of people who turn up to my clinics late and don't apologise, don't even make reference to the fact, or acknowledge that I've squeezed them in putting everyone behind and reducing my half hour lunch break in a nine hour day is astounding.

DamnUserName21 · 01/10/2021 19:02

@cptartapp

Yes it's rude. But the number of people who turn up to my clinics late and don't apologise, don't even make reference to the fact, or acknowledge that I've squeezed them in putting everyone behind and reducing my half hour lunch break in a nine hour day is astounding.
You could start a thread about it. Grin Flowers
TheCanyon · 01/10/2021 19:04

Maybe next time, why don't you ask the Dr if they are ok? You can take one look at their face, manners and lateness and assess how much of a shit day they've had.

Ive waited over an hour and a half to see my gp before, it happens, our town has a high elderly population and my gp typically does the housecalls, emergencies happen. That's not their fault.

I've also been the patient that's been rushed into the gp surgery emergency treatment room and had my gp with me over an hour until the ambulance got there, I'm sure folk did whinge away about being kept late but without him I'd be dead and leave 4dc motherless, is that preferable?

Joysutty · 01/10/2021 19:05

Yes, I only had a difficult receptionist at my fathers surgery - another place in the UK who even gave me wrong information that he wasnt eliglble for a flu jab being 95, so after a whole week of telephone line being engaged finally got through this afternoon to such a lovely recepitonst who is doing a referral so he can have flu jab on a home visit, different again. Doctors do type in more information on their screens but my contact last few years has only been over the phone chat but my husbands check-up call on Tuesday came to his mobile 20 minutes early as guess they have to slot in these type of calls inbetween doing other stuff seeing physical patients, but no excuse for ignorance and lack of apology thats for sure, especially yes they overstretched but earning about £80 - £100,000 I think.

ChequerBoard · 01/10/2021 19:06

What do you want them to say?

"I'm sorry I've been busy caring for patients before you and dealing with urgent healthcare issues'

Because that's what they have been doing. And they shouldn't have to be sorry for doing their jobs and prioritising their time correctly.

Being churlish about waiting for 45 minutes is just adding more pressure on already overworked professionals that are in increasingly short supply.

Until healthcare services are properly funded and adequately resourced we need to be a more realistic about our expectations. Patient safety is an absolute must, waiting under an hour for an appointment start time is much less important.

IntermittentParps · 01/10/2021 19:34

@Guavaf1sh

It’s not the GPs fault so why should they apologise?!?
Just to acknowledge that it's late and probably inconvenient. Millions of people on this thread have said this already.
madisonbridges · 01/10/2021 19:42

@ChequerBoard

What do you want them to say?

"I'm sorry I've been busy caring for patients before you and dealing with urgent healthcare issues'

Because that's what they have been doing. And they shouldn't have to be sorry for doing their jobs and prioritising their time correctly.

Being churlish about waiting for 45 minutes is just adding more pressure on already overworked professionals that are in increasingly short supply.

Until healthcare services are properly funded and adequately resourced we need to be a more realistic about our expectations. Patient safety is an absolute must, waiting under an hour for an appointment start time is much less important.

"Sorry for the wait." is enough. They don't even have to mean it. It just oils the wheels of interaction. Till operators apologise when it's not their fault either. It's just manners. I'm sure people working apologise to off-duty doctors when they're held up in a queues, etc.
Original poster
homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 19:48

Being churlish about waiting for 45 minutes is just adding more pressure on already overworked professionals that are in increasingly short supply.

I don’t think I was churlish at all - I had psyched myself up to go to the GP with a mental health issue I’ve been battling with for ages. Having to wait 45 minutes was another mental struggle if I’m honest, so by the time I got in there I was feeling quite fragile and upset. I was just hoping for a bit of kindness.

Because of her rather brusque manner I didn’t feel comfortable in the moment and wasn’t able to properly articulate all the issues as I’d hoped. I’m sure that’s not the outcome any doctor would want?

Anyway, at least I got the prescription I wanted, I suppose that’s the main thing.

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 01/10/2021 19:49

@chequerBoard - has it never occurred to you that the patient may also be a very stressed, overworked professional. Every minute of mine my GP practice wastes has to be made up. If my appointment is at 9am and I'm not seen until 9.45 that means I'm not at work until 10.45. Usually I am at work by 8am so that is 2.45 hours that have to be made up for the sake of my clients and if I were as cavalier to them as GPs are to me, I'd be out of a job.

A little mutual respect would go a long way lovey (as your receptionists refer to me so I'm sure you won't mind the same level of disrespect, duckie).

nocoolnamesleft · 01/10/2021 19:53

I would sooner they get straight on with it. If they spend 30 seconds apologising, then either I would get 30 seconds less (out of an already brief appointment) for the actual problem. Or they would be running more late by 30 seconds per patient. So by the end of a say 15 patient clinic, could be running late by another 7 minutes just from apologising for having been running late.

Original poster
homewardbound2 · 01/10/2021 19:58

If they spend 30 seconds apologising

To say “Sorry for the wait” only takes two seconds though.

OP posts:
ChequerBoard · 01/10/2021 20:00

@homewardbound2

If they spend 30 seconds apologising

To say “Sorry for the wait” only takes two seconds though.

As I said though - why should they be sorry, it's not their fault. They are doing their job.
madisonbridges · 01/10/2021 20:02

It doesn't take 30 seconds to say, sorry for the wait. It takes one second. Literally.

Bringonbaby3 · 01/10/2021 20:05

I don’t think 45 minutes is that long to wait for an appointment…GPS are given 10 minutes per appointment and have to write up notes, prescribe and order tests in that time. It’s an impossible task. A lot of GPs are under huge stress because the system is completely overwhelmed. At the end of the day it’s about treating your medical problems and not being a polite greeting service!

madisonbridges · 01/10/2021 20:10

@ChequerBoard. So if I'm late for a doctors appointment by an hour because of being caught up in traffic because of a car accident, not my fault at all, the gp and the gp receptionist would be happy for me to just breeze in without explanation or apology to be seen. I don't think so. And if you can't see that it's rude in both cases, it makes me wonder at what your social interactions are like.

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