DSS accusing me of inappropriate texting!

[ifonly22]

DSS, (14) is claiming that he has seen some inappropriate texting between me and another man. He is now refusing to see DH at our home, or engage with me.
I'm refusing because, it didn't happen and also I'm not showing a 14 year old my phone. DH wants me just to send a screenshot to keep the peace.
AIBU?

Bollocks. 14yo is old enough to know right from wrong

So old enough to be really upset if he believes his father's wife is cheating, even if he is wrong?

For all you know he did genuinely see something and has told his dad

I mean, I would assume OP knows whether or not she has been sexting other men?

Obviously if she has been, and then unlocked her phone and handed it to her SS to examine, my views are slightly different

text some random acquaintance, telling them DSS is an arrogant little twat, and his silly games to split you up with Daddy aren't going to work.
send dss the sceenshot

What on earth are you supposed to screenshot if he can’t tell you what platform it is?

Has he told you what the ‘supposed’ message said?

@ThinWomansBrain

text some random acquaintance, telling them DSS is an arrogant little twat, and his silly games to split you up with Daddy aren't going to work. send dss the sceenshot

🤣😂

How the fuck can you send something that hasn’t happened?!
Surely what goes on between you and his dad, is between him and his dad.

I’d be half tempted to send a fake screen shot setting up a threesome with another man

Nope dh can look and see there is nothing inappropriate on there and tell his son to wind his neck in

No the DH can believe his wife without needing to check her phone and tell his son to stop stirring.

Nope do nothing

Ignore

Tell you dh to either sort his son, or see his son outside of your home

I would be expecting an apology from the child before having anything else to do with him

Well, since it didn’t happen and he can’t cite where he saw this imaginary conversation we can only assume he’s a liar so let him carry on with his accusations and refuse to pander to them.

How about talking to the teen - something has upset him and if the relationship was OK before then work it out.

The comments and name calling on this is ridiculous. People misinterpret things all the time and he needs to know that looking at other peoples phones is not acceptable.

His dad can talk to him. He can start by explaining it’s not okay to shit stir and he’s not letting anyone try to undermine his marriage.

Thank you, I felt like I was going mad. Plan is just to not rise to it. I'm still inviting DSS to things that DH and I are doing - it's up to him if wants a relationship with me or not now. He can come and go at our house as he wishes, see his dad as much as he wants, however I certainly don't feel I should be disrespected in this way by manipulative behaviour or lies. His mum has a pattern causing trouble and the minute things don't go her way going NC with the person. I fear he is learning that behaviour.

Orrrrr the 14 year old genuinely thinks he saw something (and isn't an arrogant little shit) and is obviously confused and perhaps OP should sit down and chat with him and ask him what he saw and salvage her relationship with her step son and stop a wedge between the 14 year old and his dad.
Quite shocked by most of the replies on here.

@RobertaFirmino

Why has everyone jumped to the conclusion that the 14yr old CHILD is trying to stir trouble? Why the need for capitals? (reminds me of WORK!) Are children incapable of causing trouble? Do you think every single child is an innocent little angel? If so, I urge you to Google 'Thompson and Venables'.

I cant believe the nasty comments on here regarding a child - shit stirrer, arrogant, manipulative, its disgusting!
Bollocks. 14yo is old enough to know right from wrong in a court of law.

Do you work at the Daily Mail?

If the ops 14yo daughter claimed she'd seen evidence of infidelity on the ops DPs phone, would posters automatically say she was a liar and that the op should tell her not to stir shit?

But the OP knows she hasn’t been texting anything dodgy.

@ifonly22

What's your DH's take on it?

DH is at the stage that he's just exhausted by it all. A few years ago it was that I was a bully (I'm not), these things cycle round every so often, linked by if DSS's mum is upset with us (for whatever reason) DSS wouldn't come to us last night to see his tutor, he had an 'ear infection' and won't respond to DH on text. I offered to stay late at work, go to the gym or just generally keep out the way but he still won't come. He is happy to see DH one on one, go out to dinner, football etc. but won't see me.
DH has basically said it's up to him, he doesn't need to like/love me, but he does need to be polite and respect his dad's choice that I'm his wife. (Of 8 years)

I think you are doing the right thing .... 🌸

It's just so sad. Pretty sure this is all driven by DSS's mum. We both had to block her via text after reams of abuse and unreasonable demands.
Next day, this happens.

Dss goaded by his dm is trying to make your dh choose...
Him or you...

That's the constant narrative, you always put 'the whore' before your son.

If so, I urge you to Google 'Thompson and Venables'

I’m just waiting for Godwin’s law to kick in

Goodness - imagine how this lad might treat a future gf in a few short years! Best he learn respect for women and girls quickly now from seeing how his DF respects DSM!