Nursery and nap times

[Appleofmyeye05]

Hi please can you tell me if I’m being unreasonable or not because this has got my goat a bit.

My son is usually an early riser, this week he’s been up at 5.30 if not slightly before then.

He goes to nursery 8.45-14.30, I usually advise at drop off if he’s had an early morning and if he can please go for an early sleep as their sleep time is 12pm and I think it’s a long time for him to go before a nap.

My son is nearly 2, has been at nursery about 4/5 weeks and his usual nap time at home is between 10/10.30

I have mentioned this to his key worker yesterday about him having early starts and wanting him to sleep and she told me that no other children stay awake so he’s awake on his own and if he seems ok she will push him on, I said in a polite way, no he must go to sleep (or at least try) for 10/10.30.

Thai morning he was up at 5.30 and I advised on the door that he will need an early nap, at pick up I had noted his sleep entry wasn’t inputted and when I asked about his sleep his key worker tried to brush over it and talk about something else. Again I said can he go to sleep earlier if he’s had an early start, she said he was playing so she didn’t attempt his nap.

It might seem really immature and a non issue but my son struggles when he’s over tired or not had enough sleep and has been lashing out physically at home.

I’m tempted to write an email to management, AIBU? Or should I mention it again to her tomorrow at drop off?

Additional info so as not to drip feed:
key worker is early 20’s with no children of her own, I have been told by another staff member in the same room that some children don’t have a nap so my son isn’t awake by himself (and anyway is the children are all asleep, there’s more than 2 staff members available to my son)
My sons bedtime is between 6-7pm

Please help!

Maybe move your child's bedtime to 7pm. This would push his wake up time a bit later. The not napping at nursery isn't abnormal with him not doing a full day there. They can't force a nap and if he's anything like my child he'll be too excited and not want to miss out. Usually the kids go for a nap after lunch where my child is but there are some children who don't bother. The workers in the room can only do so much. Maybe encourage a nap when they come home.

Sorry he is going for a sleep just at 12, and I think it’s too long for him to be going for his nap.

I have tried moving the bedtime but it makes no difference or he ends up over tired and still rises at the same time 🙃 the only way he sleeps in is if he has woken during the night for an hour or so then goes back to sleep and then he will sleep in till 7.30 ish

It is a pretty early nap though for a 2 year old. In toddler room at nursery they do most activities 9-12 don’t they? So if he naps mornings he will always miss out. So if these outside so probably awkward if lack of staff member helping your son nap

FYI my 1 year old is usually up by 6am and naps around 1pm. Bedtime 8pm

My child is nearly 2 and she naps after lunch for about 2 hours. It's pretty normal as pp said for them to have afternoon naps. If your child is napping for a good amount of time isn't that what matters? Could you leave them there longer?

I think it depends on the set up of the room. In the toddler room at most nurseries round here all children nap at the same time and dropping down to one midday nap is a sign they are ready for that room. In a 0-2 'baby room', generally children can sleep when it suits them. Routines will be different at nursery to at home as they have many children to think about. If he can push through til noon it's on their watch to deal with any overtired behaviour. I'd have though a lunchtime nap would help with later bedtime, later wake up too? My 2 year old always went to bed around 8 after an after lunch nap and would wake around half 6. Even now at 3, if they go to bed at 7pm they wake up too early, despite not napping any more.

Sorry I was slow to type all that, had only read your OP.

There's almost no point him going to nursery if he's napping at 10 because he'll miss all the activities.

It's highly unlikely he'll be willing to nap when all his friends are playing around him.

I think YABU (and I have a 2 year old who needs a nap).

If he gets used to a later nap time and subsequently later bedtime then he'll probably stop waking so early.

I don't think nursery can do different nap times for all the children they probably had one time for all of them so they can supervise the asleep children together

If you want completely individualised care for your child then you need a nanny. I'm sympathetic as it's a hard step your child going to nursery and you having to let go a bit but that's what happens. If your toddler is having a good nap at that time then I don't see the problem.

I understand being annoyed about the skipped nap but when he naps at nursery from 12, does it lead to problems for you later on?

If not, even if you feel it’s a long stretch, it might just been that his routine at nursery is different from at home? Depending how long he sleeps, a 10.30 nap for a 2YO is unusually early (even for an early riser!) and quite awkward for lunch so I have some sympathy with the nursery, though they should talk to you about it rather than ignore your request and then avoid having a conversation with you about it!

Also, assuming he’s only having one nap a day, isn’t his post-nap awake time about the same as the awake time you’re unhappy with?

If he’s sleeping at 12, I fail to see the problem? You might think 5:30am until 12 is too long for a nearly two year old, but if he’s lasting until that post-lunch nap like all the others, then it’s surely not a problem?

I think you should push your bedtime back until 7pm if you want a later wake up. He’s waking up early because he’s had enough sleep and 6pm is really early.

Agreed with others that in many 2 year old rooms they all nap on mats after lunch so there wouldn't actually be anywhere for him to nap at 10 as the other children will be using that indoor space for activities and free play.

If he can manage until after lunch then I'd be strongly encouraging that as a nap at 10am is not at all practical for a 2 year old as it then means they have a long afternoon dragging on ahead of them before bedtime.

I’d be annoyed if they didn’t even try to put him down but would accept if they couldn’t spend ages trying to get him to sleep when others awake. But we haven’t started nursery yet so I am clueless on the norms!

Also, assuming he’s only having one nap a day, isn’t his post-nap awake time about the same as the awake time you’re unhappy with?

Exactly this, his early nap is likely leading to the over tiredness that you're worried about.

I agree with you, my nurseries have always worked to our own schedule and would try to get Dd down for a nap earlier if she’d had a bad night or woken up early. If I asked for a certain time they would do it. I have always used smaller nurseries though so maybe there is a difference.

How can 530-12 be too long after a 11.5 hour sleep but 12-6.30 not be? (After sleeping 10-12 presumably?!) YABU.

Little ones tend to adapt to nursery nap times. At my son's nursery nap time is usually around 11:30. He's terrible at naps anyway so if he doesn't have a nap they let him play.
I don't think it's anything to do with her being early 20s but going with the flow of the nursery routine.

My son is 2 and naps at 12 at nursery which is fine. 10.30 nap at home is so early unless regularly waking at 5.30.
I'm bedtime seems to early as well

I think you should be glad they are pushing his nap back and it will help him go to bed later over time and not wake so early.

Kids are flexible and why would he want yo be awake alone and sleep while the others are playing.

My son started to drop his nap at around 2 so I think that while I'm sure your little one needs a sleep he can probably be kept awake for a nap that matches others.

In the grand scheme of things an hour awake at 2 years will.be fine for him if kept busy at nursery. It's not like a 3 month old being forcibly kept awake.

And the 20 something key worker has lots if experience with baby and toddlers!

10.30 is extremely early for a 2 year to nap.

Nurseries operate on fairly consistent routines.

There will almost always be an expectation by age 2 that the children will manage being on largely the same routine, pretty much always an early lunch followed by a nap.

Having been through early waking with my own kids I honestly think it's best to try and push their bedtime back with a later nap.

He is getting so much sleep by going to bed so early....he will never be able to sleep later in the morning.

As long as he is having a sleep then does it matter if its later?

I think if you want this kind of flexibility, a nursery isn't the right place for your child. I have a two year old and he always sticks to nursery's schedule no matter what time he's woken up (which can be 5am or it can be 8am). They're always out doing activities in the morning and come back for lunch at 11.30 so a child having a nap at a different time would be very disruptive to the whole class.

Like everyone else I think that a) their sleep routine is probably more sensible than yours and b) it's probably completely impractical for him to have a mid-morning nap in a toddler room. The one thing I would say though is that their communication about this hasn't been great - they need to explain to you why it isn't possible rather than just try and avoid the subject or fob you off. She probably suspects (it would seem correctly) that you'll be furious and make a fuss if she tells you that actually, they won't try for a 10am nap and this is why.