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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

following today's news...to say police should not be allowed to arrest women when operating solo

267 replies

RBKB · 29/09/2021 18:36

Just that.... what tragic and terrifying news regarding Sarah Everard's murder. I am so angry as I gather the force minimised earlier reports of sexually deviant behaviour by this appalling man.

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 29/09/2021 19:52

I agree. Too many policemen and indeed men in positions of power use that to abuse vulnerable women. Not always to murder them but in plenty of other ways- look at the undercover police who slept with women under false pretences and the police who took and circulated photos of Sarah Everard’s dead body. And saying he would have done it anyway is nonesense, the fact is because of his badge the poor girl was a sitting duck and willingly allowed herself to be handcuffed before being raped and murdered, and none of the witnesses batted an eyelid. I’m also fucking livid about the shitty coronavirus regulations and idiot politicians backed by the stay the fuck at home mob who managed to mangle the law and peoples’ understanding of it so badly that the poor girl believed that she could be pulled off the street at all.

toocold54 · 29/09/2021 19:53

YABU simply because a policeman is less likely to assault someone when they’re on duty as there’s body cams and stuff so I’m not sure exactly how that would keep women safer.

I would love more police officers patrolling but I’m not sure if it would prevent crimes like this one.

The most dangerous men are the ones in our own homes/family or friends so I don’t think police men are that much of a threat compared to other men.

HeartsAndClubs · 29/09/2021 19:53

"If we want men to agree that women need to be safe we need to word it really nicely and not upset any of them" don’t be so ridiculous. Fact here is that as long as you put out the attitude that all men are dangerous those men who aren’t aren’t going to be on our side. Men won’t approach women to help them ever if it’s automatically assumed that they’re going to rape/murder them.

It’s absolutely not a weird attitude to want those men who aren’t predators and murderers to want something done about those who are. But while you’re alienating all men you’re not going to gain that support.

HarrisMcCoo · 29/09/2021 19:55

There's more to all of this surely than we are led to believe. How he got away with working in the Met all that time is incredibly concerning...it beggars belief.

Huge respect to Sarah's family for facing up to him in court. That must have taken some amount of courage.

Porcupineintherough · 29/09/2021 19:55

Good plan. And as taxi drivers have abducted and murdered women, no lone woman should be allowed to use taxis.

Lockheart · 29/09/2021 19:58

You're obviously oblivious to the fact that Sabina Nessa was killed by a Dominos Driver then - which is the point that was being made....

Fuck me, has anyone told the courts? No need for a trial or investigation everyone, some randomer on MN has cracked a case less than 2 weeks old!

With all the money we'd save on cases maybe we could employ enough police officers to double crew all shifts.

HeartsAndClubs · 29/09/2021 19:58

There's more to all of this surely than we are led to believe. How he got away with working in the Met all that time is incredibly concerning...it beggars belief. I don’t think we can say that. There bsolutely needs to be a public enquiry in light of the previous allegations against him, however I don’t think that anyone could have guessed that he was a murderer.

It could equally be said that the NHS were responsible for the actions of Harold Shipman, but the responsibility for his crimes were his and his alone.

HeartsAndClubs · 29/09/2021 19:59

@ Lockheart have already reported that post.

To the poster who posted it, that is considered contempt of court and should be removed. You might want to request it be deleted as mn will likely do so anyway.

DameAlyson · 29/09/2021 19:59

You're obviously oblivious to the fact that Sabina Nessa was killed by a Dominos Driver

Allegedly. No-one has been convicted.

LateDecemberBackInLowB12 · 29/09/2021 20:01

It’s absolutely not a weird attitude to want those men who aren’t predators and murderers to want something done about those who are. But while you’re alienatingallmen you’re not going to gain that support.

I know lots of really lovely men, and they don't get offended when women say they need to be careful of ALL men, they know they aren't the problem, and they understand that strangers don't know they aren't the problem, so they act accordingly so women feel safe.

Men who feel alienated and don't want to do something about violence against women because they are offended are obviously problematic in the first place.

It is very odd of you to think we need to centre men's feelings on this.

AICM · 29/09/2021 20:03

Doctors have been known to abuse women.

If a woman collapsed in the street and a lone male doctor happened to walk past he should call an ambulance then wait at least 39 yards away. Or even better just walk on.

Naunet · 29/09/2021 20:03

@HeartsAndClubs

As usual this is wanting to use a sledge hammer to crack a nut.

The man was a murderer. If he’d wanted to murder her he would have found a way to do it, he just abused his position to do it, but if he hadn’t been able to abuse that position he would still have murdered either her or someone else.

And statements such as “we can’t trust men” just make things worse. Because the fact is that that’s categorically not true.

We need to change the thinking within the male population. The instant you start saying “we can’t trust any men” you are going to get men coming out and saying things like “not all men are like that,” which is true. And instantly you lose support.

We need to get to the point where men don’t have to express that “not all men” are like that. We need to get to a point where those men who aren’t like that want something done about the men who are, and acknowledge the fact that male on female violence is more common than the other way around.

Yes, never forget ladies, the real victims are men 🤨

Are you really that naive? You think women being kinder and nicer to men will mean they’ll stop feeling the need to say “not all men” and in turn, stop killing us? Do you have the first idea how we won rights in this country? Let me tell you, asking nicely did fuck all.

WrapAroundYourDreams · 29/09/2021 20:04

This reply has been deleted

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Jaysmith71 · 29/09/2021 20:08

I'm struggling to see what difference this would have made to the case in the news, where the victim was not arreseted but abducted.

DeepaBeesKit · 29/09/2021 20:09

Honestly? It wouldnt stop someone like this. I'd prefer to have preventative things to try and weed out individuals - maybe psychological testing at routine periods for serving officers etc to try and pick up high risk people

toocold54 · 29/09/2021 20:09

He was also on dating sites so yes him being a police officer allowed him to arrest her but he could have raped and killed someone off a dating site too.

His position of power definitely manipulated her into getting into the car but seeing as he was off duty then there’s no way that could have been stopped by having police officers go around in pairs.

Naunet · 29/09/2021 20:10

@AICM

Doctors have been known to abuse women.

If a woman collapsed in the street and a lone male doctor happened to walk past he should call an ambulance then wait at least 39 yards away. Or even better just walk on.

Wow, the utter contempt you have just shown towards women to post this. How dare you mock women’s very justified concern and anger about the abuse they face? Do you think it’s women’s job to just accept being abused by men? Shame on you.
toocold54 · 29/09/2021 20:11

I'm struggling to see what difference this would have made to the case in the news, where the victim was not arreseted but abducted.

I believe he pretended to put her under arrest and handcuffed her and put her in the back seat pretending to be taking her to a police station. Which is why she didn’t scream or kick up a fuss which may have alerted someone.

poohaloo · 29/09/2021 20:11

I think it's more to do with women being compliant and law abiding ..... if he'd picked on another woman who wasn't so compliant and knew the law he would've had a fight on his hands. And he knew that.

Original poster
RBKB · 29/09/2021 20:12

@Jaysmith71 because people saw it happen but did not intervene

Because she would have known it was an illegal arrest and resisted it.

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 29/09/2021 20:17

I 100% agree - I would never question authority but now I would ask police HQ to confirm they knew who I was and what was happening. They shouldn't be working alone and, if they are, we aren't funding them appropriately.

Royalbloo · 29/09/2021 20:18

And lots of men are law abiding and cooperative...this cannot ever happen again, to anyone

Royalbloo · 29/09/2021 20:19

toocold54 he used his knowledge, training and power to take someone's life.

Royalbloo · 29/09/2021 20:20

Sorry, wrong tag

Offmyfence · 29/09/2021 20:21

ok, so the rules are as a serving police officer, you cannot arrest a lone woman.......

You also cannot murder them?

So, are you seriously saying if the rule that a lone policeman could not arrest a lone female, that Sarah would be alive today?

That would've stopped him?

Stop being so stupidly simplistic!

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