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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to call dh a panic buyer?

163 replies

Knitwit101 · 29/09/2021 09:12

We have a small electric car we use every day. We have a massive diesel car we use for long journeys with all 5 of us plus dog, and towing the caravan.

We are taking the caravan away on 16th October. Nearly 3 weeks away Large car has half a tank in it, we've no plans to use it, might take it on a 20 mile round trip next weekend if we all go out for the day, probably will just take the small one because its rare for all the kids to want to come out with us now.

Dh went out last night and filled up the tank so we have a full tank for going away in nearly 3 weeks time. Then was lecturing the kids this morning on the stupidity of panic buying when we were listening to the radio.

I said he was a panic buyer, he got quite offended and said he was just being sensible and planning ahead. But we didn't need that extra fuel, we're not going to need it till maybe 15th October when we get organised for going away the next day.

He's a panic buyer, right? He's contributing unnecessarily to this nonsense at the petrol stations then ranting on about the idiots who cause fuel shortages.

OP posts:
MyCatDribbles · 29/09/2021 09:15

If he made a special journey to fill the car up unnecessarily then yeah he is a panic buyer

Rabblesthecat · 29/09/2021 09:15

Not really.

But then we have two diesel cars and never let either of them sit less than 3/4 full.

mainly because we have elderly family 400 and 200 miles away respectively and if we had to go there short notice, the last thing we want is to have to worry about fuel

So we have a rule of filling up at the end of the day if the fuel is 3/4 or below.

But we've always done it

Aprilx · 29/09/2021 09:17

If he wants to fill up for the trip then it is to a point understandable, but he should at least acknowledge that he too has been scared into pain buying and not criticise others for doing as he has.

Aprilx · 29/09/2021 09:17

*panic

Oldandcobwebbed · 29/09/2021 09:26

I've had to fill up my car more than I usually would. I'm usually a leave it 1/4 full person 90% of the time however locally fuel stations aren't faring well and to top up this time I had to try 7 petrol stations, and it took me over an hour.

I've bought more because I know that given an emergency (parents don't live locally, I have a job that needs driving in it) that I can't chance it like I usually do and find a station on the way.

The notion of panic buying sometimes annoys me because sometimes buying more than usual is reasonable. For example over covid I bought more dry food then usual. I'm not talking cupboards full, but I made sure unlike usual when we run on fumes of cobbled stuff from the cupboards for a day or so before a shop, that we always still had a few days worth of food before a shop. My partner laughed and said I was being dramatic but a few times it was essential. Once when we were due for a shop in about a day or so, and had to isolate while awaiting a pcr result for about 3 days, other times when we got sick and there were no food deliveries to be had. Not sure what we'd of done (no local family) in those circumstances without.

Obviously not talking about people who have far more than they will every use

Justcallmebebes · 29/09/2021 09:27

Where did he find a petrol station selling fuel. Ours are all shut

SuperstarDog · 29/09/2021 09:32

How old are the children? My children would have called him a hypocrite if he was lecturing them to not do something that he’d just done.

girlmom21 · 29/09/2021 09:36

How far in advance would he normally fill up?

LtDansLegs · 29/09/2021 09:37

Hmmm I think I sit on the side of planning ahead - to me it would have been panic buying if he'd taken multiple Jerry cans and filled those! There's news that the shortages (due to supply / demand / availability etc) may be lasting for a few more weeks, so IMO I think he's planning ahead so your holiday doesn't get disrupted.

I mean, I'll definitely swap to the "he's panic buying" opinion if you find some hidden Jerry cans buried in the back garden 😂

Embroidery · 29/09/2021 09:37

Very privileged and annoying most people desperate for fuel can't work without it.
I queued until midnight on Saturday as otherwise my DS would have missed playing in his rugby match on Sunday and I wouldn't have been able to go to work Mon to Wed.

HarrietsChariot · 29/09/2021 09:40

Yes he's panic-buying because he's buying fuel when he doesn't need to. He bought it now to be on the safe side, not wanting to risk leaving it until the last minute when it might not be available. That's the definition of panic-buying.

As with the supermarket shortages at the start of Covid, people are masters of doublethink. "Everyone else" is panic-buying, but my reasons are obviously valid. I don't think anyone genuinely believes they are panic-buying themselves, but they are certain nobody else has a good reason.

Triffid1 · 29/09/2021 09:40

yes, he's a panic buyer. You don't need the fuel for three weeks. Theoretically, by then, some of the supply chain issues will be sorted and he would be able to buy fuel as normal. Rushing off three weeks ahead of time is just putting more pressure on the fuel needs today.

basically, anyone who is buying fuel outside of when they would normally buy fuel is a panic buyer. And they can justify it to themselves all they like, but it doesn't change the fact that they are. DH absolutely has to have fuel to get to work. Our tanks are half full. He is NOT panic buying because in normal times he would not fill up at half a tank so even though there's some low level stress that in a weeks' time when he really really does need petrol he won't have any, he doesn't want to contribute to the issue.

We are attempting to be a bit more careful in fuel usage however and thinking a bit more carefully about non-essential journeys. I often work in coffee shops/libraries etc to which I drive but am staying home at the moment to conserve that fuel should DH need to take my car to work in a week or two.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 29/09/2021 09:42

@Justcallmebebes

Where did he find a petrol station selling fuel. Ours are all shut
Most around here are open with short queues for petrol. Lots are low on diesel so when they get a delivery its manic.
Returnoftheowl · 29/09/2021 09:43

@HarrietsChariot

Yes he's panic-buying because he's buying fuel when he doesn't need to. He bought it now to be on the safe side, not wanting to risk leaving it until the last minute when it might not be available. That's the definition of panic-buying.

As with the supermarket shortages at the start of Covid, people are masters of doublethink. "Everyone else" is panic-buying, but my reasons are obviously valid. I don't think anyone genuinely believes they are panic-buying themselves, but they are certain nobody else has a good reason.

I completely agree with this. He's the very definition of a panic-buyer.
Tereseta · 29/09/2021 09:43

@Justcallmebebes

Where did he find a petrol station selling fuel. Ours are all shut
Ours are pretty much restocked now, still have people queueing though Confused
TheWoleb · 29/09/2021 09:44

@Justcallmebebes

My town is totally fine. We had one day were the cheaper petrol was solid out, so only supreme petrol and diesel left. But just for one day. The next day, the pumps were all back on and there hasn't been any queues at either if our petrol stations (we only have 2) since the weekend. Even then, the queues were only a few cars long. No one here has had any trouble getting fuel.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 29/09/2021 09:45

That's definitely panic buying.

jillandhersprite · 29/09/2021 09:45

yes he is a panic buyer...
i haven't filled up since early last week - i did a big shop on fumes yesterday, no luck in finding diesel when i was out yesterday.
no idea what we would do if there was an emergency with the kids or elderly relatives
his 'being sensible' is the pure height of selfishness at the moment
but it doesn't surprise me - most people are selfish and you have to live life assuming that

StellaCinnamon · 29/09/2021 09:46

I kind of get it though.

I don’t want to be a panic buyer but nor did I want to not be able to find petrol for my holiday next week. Fortunately however it hasn’t been so bad here.

holidaynearlyover · 29/09/2021 09:46

Still no diesel around here.
Yes he's panic buying and a complete hypocrite!

EmmaGrundyForPM · 29/09/2021 09:47

Of course that's panic buying and incredibly selfish.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 29/09/2021 09:47

@Rabblesthecat

Not really.

But then we have two diesel cars and never let either of them sit less than 3/4 full.

mainly because we have elderly family 400 and 200 miles away respectively and if we had to go there short notice, the last thing we want is to have to worry about fuel

So we have a rule of filling up at the end of the day if the fuel is 3/4 or below.

But we've always done it

This is so bizarre to me. It literally takes five mins to buy fuel. 200 miles is nothing. 400 miles you'd still get on a whole tank so to have a rule of no less than 3/4 it's crazy to me.
pussycatlickinglollyices · 29/09/2021 09:51

Ours are fine, saw 2 tankers delivering yesterday when we went out early for shopping and DH has driven past a tesco and a morrisons both with fuel and without queues on the way to the dentist this morning.

We filled both last wed and thurs but were on 1/4 tank in each which is as low as we go.

I'd say your DH did panic buy, but it's done now. He shouldn't be lecturing the kids though. That's him being a knob.

Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2021 09:51

DH car has half a tank we don’t really need but my (bigger) car only had 1/4 tank. DH filled mine up last night because we have a longish trip we need it for in a couple of weeks.
I haven’t been able to get fuel for over a week but he popped out for bread last night and on his way out spotted a tanker at our local petrol station so after buying the bread on his way back past he drove straight in with no queues. All the places round here have had huge queues or no diesel
No idea if that’s panic buying (he was pretty chilled if a bit smug) but I don’t care, maybe we could have waited to see if we could get some in a few weeks but as far as I’m concerned it’s just one less thing to think about

GunsNShips · 29/09/2021 09:53

Yes, surely buying before you need because you don’t think it will be available when you do need it is the very definition of panic buying.

My DH filled his car up yesterday. It had 3/8 left (so approx 150 miles?) and I think that was panic buying! We only do local trips as wfh (and he’s taking my car away this weekend so it would have been my problem not his!)

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