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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to call dh a panic buyer?

163 replies

Knitwit101 · 29/09/2021 09:12

We have a small electric car we use every day. We have a massive diesel car we use for long journeys with all 5 of us plus dog, and towing the caravan.

We are taking the caravan away on 16th October. Nearly 3 weeks away Large car has half a tank in it, we've no plans to use it, might take it on a 20 mile round trip next weekend if we all go out for the day, probably will just take the small one because its rare for all the kids to want to come out with us now.

Dh went out last night and filled up the tank so we have a full tank for going away in nearly 3 weeks time. Then was lecturing the kids this morning on the stupidity of panic buying when we were listening to the radio.

I said he was a panic buyer, he got quite offended and said he was just being sensible and planning ahead. But we didn't need that extra fuel, we're not going to need it till maybe 15th October when we get organised for going away the next day.

He's a panic buyer, right? He's contributing unnecessarily to this nonsense at the petrol stations then ranting on about the idiots who cause fuel shortages.

OP posts:

TyrannysaurusXXrightshoarder · 29/09/2021 10:53

Ours are pretty much restocked now, still have people queueing though

Where are you? Wish I was there too, it’s been the worst day so far here. School busses have so far been unable to get children in to the city, for school, from our town as the roads have been blocked.

Frazzled2207 · 29/09/2021 10:53

@Aprilx

If he wants to fill up for the trip then it is to a point understandable, but he should at least acknowledge that he too has been scared into pain buying and not criticise others for doing as he has.

Exactly this

Wife2b · 29/09/2021 10:54

No I don’t think he is a panic buyer. He is thinking ahead, going away can be stressful getting things done etc. Whilst you’re not panic buying, other people may well be and what you don’t want is to be stuck with closed petrol stations around you the day before you go. At the end of the day you’re not buying fuel that you don’t need, the people who are filling up Jerry cans are the panic buyers IMO

WorriedWishingWell · 29/09/2021 10:54

@Embroidery

Very privileged and annoying most people desperate for fuel can't work without it. I queued until midnight on Saturday as otherwise my DS would have missed playing in his rugby match on Sunday and I wouldn't have been able to go to work Mon to Wed.

Unless your son is a professional rugby player I think you've contradicted yourself there

SusieBob · 29/09/2021 10:56

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

If someone is making a dedicated trip to the petrol station, knowing they don't need that fuel for 3 weeks of course they are panic buying. That fuel is just sitting there for no reason when others who actually need it might be struggling.

Does that apply in normal times as well? I filled up before we went away a couple of weeks ago even though I knew I wouldn’t need the car for over a week. I did it so I wouldn’t have to bother when I got home. It was obviously before all this happened but I’m now wondering if people judge others for how much petrol they have normally!

Did you do it knowing full well that there is/was an impending shortage of fuel?

This isn't hard to work out. If there is a (potential) shortage of a resource to purchase that resource when you don't need it and especially when others need it more that is the very definition of panic buying. If supplies are as normal then it's not.

Frazzled2207 · 29/09/2021 10:56

@StellaCinnamon

I kind of get it though.

I don’t want to be a panic buyer but nor did I want to not be able to find petrol for my holiday next week. Fortunately however it hasn’t been so bad here.

I get it too but the op’s husband is criticising panic buyers while contributing to the problem!

WorriedWishingWell · 29/09/2021 10:59

This govt and every person who voted for it and Brexit is the cause of the shortage. Tory ideology is based on looking after the individual and ones family, not thinking about the common good in times of crisis, so entirely logical to meet ones own needs ahead of thinking about others.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 29/09/2021 11:04

There was a psychology guy on the news this morning talking about exactly this. Nobody will ever class themselves as a panic buyer. They will always justify the decision to themselves to load up on fuel in a way they don't normally do, or stuff the garage with loo roll. It's everyone ELSE who is the problem and who is panic buying.

TheOrigRights · 29/09/2021 11:09

@Rabblesthecat

Not really.

But then we have two diesel cars and never let either of them sit less than 3/4 full.

mainly because we have elderly family 400 and 200 miles away respectively and if we had to go there short notice, the last thing we want is to have to worry about fuel

So we have a rule of filling up at the end of the day if the fuel is 3/4 or below.

But we've always done it

Maybe you would not have defined filling up as panic buying when you have 3/4 of a tank because it's something you've always done.

But maybe you could have been a bit more flexible under current
circumstances and NOT filled up, leaving supplies for those will more pressing needs than "maybe we'll need to see elderly family".

And unless you have a teeny car 3/4 of a tank will get you 400 miles.

DeepaBeesKit · 29/09/2021 11:11

Dh suggested trying to fill our second car yesterday. I pointed out we had 3/4 tank in the big one and wouldnt normally fill it in these circumstances. Then went and lost ~hid~ the keys so he isnt tempted.

MargaretThursday · 29/09/2021 11:16

Depends. Would he normally have filled up early or done it on the way?

If he'd normally have filled up early, then he hasn't changed his methods so that isn't panic buying.

Dh said I was panic buying toilet rolls about this time last year (so when there was no shortage). No I wasn't. We had about a week's worth left, and we do the shopping once a week, so I bought the next packet the same time I always would. He otoh would leave it until we are all but out, which occasionally means we are actually out, which I hate. I would call that bad forward planning.

You also have to potentially play in that if you couldn't get petrol then would you be going? Probably not. So you've got everything packed, ready to go, then stop for petrol on the way. No petrol. Do you continue in the hope you can find one on the way to buy from or risk running out?
In which case knowing you can go is probably sensible.

If you find he's packed several cans of petrol to take with you, then yes he is panic buying.

And I would have thought next week was plenty of time too.

Jux · 29/09/2021 11:17

Yes, he is of course.

Our petrol pumps are pretty much OK now, but if we get another spell of good weather over a weekend, we'll be full of tourists again and who knows what'll happen then?

blobby10 · 29/09/2021 11:18

YANBU and I agree that your DH is a panic buyer. My colleague filled his car up last night - in normal times he never lets it get less than 75% - yes 3/4 full - so filled up a quarter of a tank. He says he never know when he might need to take his elderly parents to hospital during the night - they live 4 miles away and then another 4 miles to the hospital............!

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 29/09/2021 11:19

I agree with you. It wasn't an essential or a normal trip to get fuel. He wouldn't have made that trip if he wasn't worried about a fuel shortage. Hence panic buying.

Bit more worried about your Diesel engine if you use it so infrequently. Don't they need regular long trips to keep them running properly?

Councilworker · 29/09/2021 11:23

We had to collect our daughter on Saturday from my mother in laws. Car was estimating We had 20 miles left in the tank. We got to a petrol station that had diesel and we just put 1/4 tank on that would be enough to get us there and back and then cover us for a week as DH works from home and I commute by train. The station didn't have any limits on how much to buy but it would have been a dickmove to fill up when the knock on effect is that another person might then not be able to get to work. If everyone did this maybe my sister in the South West would be able to get some diesel before she's due to travel for work on Friday (not do-able by train)

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/09/2021 11:23

Maybe you would not have defined filling up as panic buying when you have 3/4 of a tank because it's something you've always done.

But maybe you could have been a bit more flexible under current
circumstances and NOT filled up, leaving supplies for those will more pressing needs than "maybe we'll need to see elderly family".

There’s no way I would have risked not being able to see my elderly parents

And unless you have a teeny car 3/4 of a tank will get you 400 miles.

I have a normal car and I get 350 to a full tank and DH gets less than me!

MasterBeth · 29/09/2021 11:25

@Rabblesthecat

Not really.

But then we have two diesel cars and never let either of them sit less than 3/4 full.

mainly because we have elderly family 400 and 200 miles away respectively and if we had to go there short notice, the last thing we want is to have to worry about fuel

So we have a rule of filling up at the end of the day if the fuel is 3/4 or below.

But we've always done it

So you are long-term panic buyers.

Fairyliz · 29/09/2021 11:26

Yes he is a panic buyer but I’m ashamed to admit so am I.
I won’t go into details of why I might need a full tank because that’s just excuses. But I bought petrol on Saturday when normally I would have carried on driving until Thursday/Friday. So definitely a panic buyer.

middleager · 29/09/2021 11:27

Lots of us are hypocrites, whether it's petrol or Covid food supplies, and to be branded a 'panic buyer' seems like the ultimate badge of shame these days. The worst crime in the world Of course people are panic buying, it's human nature.

A FB friend posted in disgust at 'panic buyers'. He said he genuinely needed Diesel for work and posted a picture of his petrol meter at full.
He then lambasted those on school and supermatket runs in their SUVs who clearly didn't need petrol. He absolutely needed petrol though, so that was OK. Clearly thinks Helen who has to get kids to school, go yo work, check on her sick mother and feed the family doesn't. This policing of who 'needs' it isn't pleasant.
(Not talking about emergency services here, talking of day to day living).

I think that's arsehole behaviour.

I've currently no skin in the game as I've been stuck at home with Covid for 10 days and DH filled up last week as usual, but when I'm out of quarantine tomorrow I aim to fill up (my non SUV) as usual so I can get to work and pick kids up, oh and go to the supermarket.

Practicebeingpatient · 29/09/2021 11:28

It's the age old double standard that we all comfort ourselves with. He is taking sensible precautions but everyone else is a panic buyer.

middleager · 29/09/2021 11:29

@Fairyliz

Yes he is a panic buyer but I’m ashamed to admit so am I. I won’t go into details of why I might need a full tank because that’s just excuses. But I bought petrol on Saturday when normally I would have carried on driving until Thursday/Friday. So definitely a panic buyer.

There are worse crimes, but on MN you'll be hung, drawn and quartered for even mentioning it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/09/2021 11:30

Yes he absolutely is!

Medstudent12 · 29/09/2021 11:31

@Oldandcobwebbed that's what caused shortages during the first wave. It's not a few people stockpiling. It's when lots of people all buy a bit more than they need, it adds up, supply chains aren't designed for people panicking and adding an extra pack of pasta or two into a weekly shop.

Oldandcobwebbed · 29/09/2021 11:33

It would be foolish where I live to not change your buying habits. I normally wait until I'm running on fumes with petrol light blinking away at me, thats fine when a petrol station is on every corner where I can put £20 in. However this time I had to drive to 7 different stations, and would have missed nhs work if I hadn't timed a visit by luck with a petrol station being refilled

I'm not saying I would have done it for a holiday in 3 weeks, but people buying more petrol than usual makes sense when access to petrol is limited. In my area you cant chance coming across a petrol station on the journey

AntiSocialDistancer · 29/09/2021 11:34

@Aprilx

If he wants to fill up for the trip then it is to a point understandable, but he should at least acknowledge that he too has been scared into pain buying and not criticise others for doing as he has.

Completely agree.

It's sensible to fill up your car with fuel if you need it, and you've been told it's in short supply. People berating "idiots" don't realise most other people are all people that are reacting reasonably to what they're being told.

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