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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to call dh a panic buyer?

163 replies

Knitwit101 · 29/09/2021 09:12

We have a small electric car we use every day. We have a massive diesel car we use for long journeys with all 5 of us plus dog, and towing the caravan.

We are taking the caravan away on 16th October. Nearly 3 weeks away Large car has half a tank in it, we've no plans to use it, might take it on a 20 mile round trip next weekend if we all go out for the day, probably will just take the small one because its rare for all the kids to want to come out with us now.

Dh went out last night and filled up the tank so we have a full tank for going away in nearly 3 weeks time. Then was lecturing the kids this morning on the stupidity of panic buying when we were listening to the radio.

I said he was a panic buyer, he got quite offended and said he was just being sensible and planning ahead. But we didn't need that extra fuel, we're not going to need it till maybe 15th October when we get organised for going away the next day.

He's a panic buyer, right? He's contributing unnecessarily to this nonsense at the petrol stations then ranting on about the idiots who cause fuel shortages.

OP posts:
Medstudent12 · 29/09/2021 11:35

I do think some people need petrol more than others. I can walk to a smaller nearby supermarket to pick up food, I now work at a hospital much nearer my house. Therefore I haven't filled my car up. Yes it's inconvenient but I don't really need it so I cba to queue and join the chaos.

But I used to work at a rural hospital where most of the doctors commute from larger cities (as they don't want to live rurally when lives are based in a city but we get made to rotate hospitals all the time as junior docs) and many have a 60-80 mile round trip daily as minimum. Hospitals such as that one are stuffed if we have a fuel crisis again, I think they will have to prioritise key workers in that case, or operations will be cancelled/schools will be shut.

I usually run mine down to empty. I'd filled up around a week or two ago luckily and my current workplace is nearby so I'm fine, I also could get a few buses if needed and I couldn't drive, not everyone is so lucky.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 29/09/2021 11:36

@WorriedWishingWell

You are panic buying. I am making a sensible decision to be prepared for all possible eventualities.
Exactly.
thereisonlyoneofme · 29/09/2021 11:37

The five petrol stations in our town were out of fuel yesterday, still people queueing though. A petrol tanker was seen , seemed to be a large convoy following it !

HangingChads · 29/09/2021 11:38

@Rabblesthecat

Not really.

But then we have two diesel cars and never let either of them sit less than 3/4 full.

mainly because we have elderly family 400 and 200 miles away respectively and if we had to go there short notice, the last thing we want is to have to worry about fuel

So we have a rule of filling up at the end of the day if the fuel is 3/4 or below.

But we've always done it

The things you read on Mumsnet!! Shock
Original poster
Knitwit101 · 29/09/2021 11:40

@Practicebeingpatient

It's the age old double standard that we all comfort ourselves with. He is taking sensible precautions but everyone else is a panic buyer.
Exactly.

He was just planning ahead, he's not a panic buyer. Except he is.

We've actually got reasonable supplies around here so our full tank sitting out there on the street is probably not stopping anyone from getting to work but that's not the point. The point is that he just doesn't recognise that his reason/excuse is no more valid than anyone else's.

Human nature is a funny thing, maybe he's got the self preservation instinct that will save us in a real apocalypse while I'm just bumbling along in my wee bubble assuming everything will be okay in the end.

OP posts:
Joystir59 · 29/09/2021 11:42

He fills his car now, he won't need to in three weeks. I can't get aerated about this

Joystir59 · 29/09/2021 11:43

I've been filling my car up as soon as I get down to half a tank for months in response to BrexCovid. So I'm a panic buyer too.

SudokuWillNotSaveYou · 29/09/2021 11:48

I’m really surprised by all these people who don’t understand WHY their area’s petrol pumps are okay. It’s one country (I think this is only an England problem at the moment?). I mean, BP flat out said they were prioritizing diesel to stations in certain areas: on motorways, near motorways, and then (I suppose if you immediately got stations refilled in the village of Bumfucknowhere, near absolutely no motorways) where BP execs live (joking about that last… maybe).

The smart thing, countrywide, is to try to buy just the fuel you need, not be a “panic buyer,” even if your stations are fine, because all areas of plenty and shortage are connected. If there’s less demand in your area, maybe they’ll start delivering again to other posters’ areas.

Oh and if you’re someone in an emergency situation who can’t get to work (this is the only excuse for needing fuel - not because a relative you won’t even probably be able to see in hospital due to COVID might have an accident; unreal that people are using that justification when others might lose their jobs), have a friend who lives near a motorway check the nearest station ON the motorway, perhaps? That’s all I can think of. Ask someone to car share to work. If you send an email to work colleagues and no one offers you a lift when you have no petrol, then you’ve done all you can to get there and hopefully can’t be fired. But it may not get you paid either. Good luck!

middleager · 29/09/2021 11:49

Human nature is a funny thing, maybe he's got the self preservation instinct that will save us in a real apocalypse while I'm just bumbling along in my wee bubble assuming everything will be okay in the end.

But you say this safe in the knowledge your DH has filled up......

Would you be so relaxed if you didn't have an electric car and if you had urgent appointments to get to?

theemmadilemma · 29/09/2021 11:50

I get where he's coming from. I bet he feels calmer now.

But he's the definition of the people that have caused this issue.

fumfspos · 29/09/2021 11:51

He's a panic buyer. It was not necessary for him to fill the tank. You have an electric car which you can use to get around.
And if the situation is still on-going on the 16th October you could cancel your trip if you couldn't get diesel. Anyway, if it's still going on then, would you actually want to drive a long way with the caravan and risk not being able to re-fuel at your destination and not get back?

Strawbsaturno · 29/09/2021 11:57

By his definition all panic buying could just be relabelled as simply planning ahead then?

IamnotSethRogan · 29/09/2021 11:58

I would say it falls on the side of panic buying. He wouldn't of filled up his car at this point if it wasn't for the current worry. It's people making Even these small extra journeys to fill up that amount to the situation we're in now. It is planning ahead but it is also panic buying.

No one who is panic buying will admit they are. They all have some reason why they're not.

daisychain01 · 29/09/2021 12:01

Why pick a fight with your husband, Christ there's enough stress and anger about, without turning on your nearest and dearest. It's one tank of fuel, so yes if you want to hurl accusations as your husband and have an argument about it go right ahead.

Quite frankly it's all being stoked up by the media just like COVID was, and Brexit was, so here's yet another opportunity for family members to turn in on each other, call each other names and grind each other down. Absolutely ridiculous.

namechangetheworld · 29/09/2021 12:02

Eh, I'd personally see it as forward planning.

StellaCinnamon · 29/09/2021 12:04

I have no issue with admitting I was panic buying. I don’t want to miss our holiday next week 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hariboqueen1 · 29/09/2021 12:11

@Oldandcobwebbed

It would be foolish where I live to not change your buying habits. I normally wait until I'm running on fumes with petrol light blinking away at me, thats fine when a petrol station is on every corner where I can put £20 in. However this time I had to drive to 7 different stations, and would have missed nhs work if I hadn't timed a visit by luck with a petrol station being refilled

I'm not saying I would have done it for a holiday in 3 weeks, but people buying more petrol than usual makes sense when access to petrol is limited. In my area you cant chance coming across a petrol station on the journey

No it doesn’t make sense! The reason we are in this situation is because of people like you being ‘sensibly prepared’ don’t you get it?? You are part of the problem! Tomorrow when I’m at empty, I will go and queue up wherever I can and buy my normal £30s worth. Over time more people will start doing that, and that is when we will start getting back to normal. When people stop being sensibly prepared!
Gilly12345 · 29/09/2021 12:23

No I think this is ok and you are making a fuss.

GreenOlivesinGin · 29/09/2021 12:26

Would he have gone to fill up the tank if there had been nothing on the news about fuel shortages etc, and things were the same as before? If yes, then he is not a panic buyer. If not, then his behaviour changed because of the news and he is a panic buyer.

DrSbaitso · 29/09/2021 12:29

Yes of course he is. But panic buyers very rarely think they are panic buyers.

My fuel light was on, so I was OK to fill up, right? They had a limit of £30, that's what I took.

TurquoiseDragon · 29/09/2021 12:32

He's the definition of panic buying.

We would have fuel on the forecourts sooner if idiots like him didn't go and buy fuel that they don't yet need.

My car is on the warning light for fuel, as I didn't hear the news until it was too late and my town is currently dry.

I'm having to go shopping daily on foot, as I'm not using that last bit of fuel until I can be sure of getting more, especially as my dad is ill, and I'm doing his shopping too. I just hope he doesn't need to go to hospital, at least not until I have fuel, its very worrying.

And wazzocks like your DH make things worse.

DrSbaitso · 29/09/2021 12:36

@middleager

Lots of us are hypocrites, whether it's petrol or Covid food supplies, and to be branded a 'panic buyer' seems like the ultimate badge of shame these days. The worst crime in the world HmmOf course people are panic buying, it's human nature.

A FB friend posted in disgust at 'panic buyers'. He said he genuinely needed Diesel for work and posted a picture of his petrol meter at full.
He then lambasted those on school and supermatket runs in their SUVs who clearly didn't need petrol. He absolutely needed petrol though, so that was OK. Clearly thinks Helen who has to get kids to school, go yo work, check on her sick mother and feed the family doesn't. This policing of who 'needs' it isn't pleasant.
(Not talking about emergency services here, talking of day to day living).

I think that's arsehole behaviour.

I've currently no skin in the game as I've been stuck at home with Covid for 10 days and DH filled up last week as usual, but when I'm out of quarantine tomorrow I aim to fill up (my non SUV) as usual so I can get to work and pick kids up, oh and go to the supermarket.

He attacked people for panic buying while posting a pic of his fuel gauge at full? (I'm unclear here since you mention both diesel and petrol.)

You're right, he is a dick.

Oldandcobwebbed · 29/09/2021 12:37

What's the solution though? I need petrol in order to complete home visits as part of my nhs role. Usually I find one between visits. The last time there wasn't any available. It took 7 different attempts and it was pure luck, it would be reckless to put myself in the same position in a week or so by only filling up my usual 20 when my petrol runs low.

It's all very well saying just top up when your running low, but only if there is petrol available at that point. We have staff that can't source diesel so aren't able to complete visits so working at home.

Oldandcobwebbed · 29/09/2021 12:38

That was in response to @Hariboqueen1

Rainbowsandstorms · 29/09/2021 12:42

Yes definitely panic buying and absolutely contributing to the problem. I’m down to a quarter of a tank. I use the car for school runs and popping too and from places. I’m currently waiting to fill up to allow others who need fuel for work etc to get it and in the meantime I’m limiting trips to feed the ducks and go out for coffee further afield etc. I’ll fill up once I’m below a quarter of a tank so I have fuel in case of any emergency trips and so we aren’t limited with what we do but I’m holding off for as long as I can to give things a chance of settling as I don’t want to be part of the problem.