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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Late kids birthday cards!

93 replies

Maither113 · 28/09/2021 22:47

I think its bad to give a child a birthday card even a day late unless there's a reasonable excuse like illness, hospital efc as the child thinks they are forgotten about! Both my SILs have done it this year to my 15 year old. I have 7 nieces and nephews and manage all there's on time! Ridiculous.

OP posts:
esloquehay · 29/09/2021 19:05

OP, YOU are being ridiculous.

Rubyupbeat · 29/09/2021 19:12

Ffs....some people don't get cards, lonely people.
Dont teach your child to think like you do!

AbsolutelySure · 29/09/2021 19:19

The postal service isn't as fast as it used to be either. You sound very ungrateful OP. My DDs have had cards arrive late all their life, they think it's great they get birthday cards and money on the day(s) after their birthday.

Driftingblue · 29/09/2021 19:25

I used to be really good about mailing cards on time. I don’t skimp either. I make my cards from scratch and they are created lovingly for each person. Then Covid hit. I have completely missed 5 child birthdays in the last 18 months.

DamsonIcecream · 29/09/2021 19:56

You sound like my sister in law. I was astounded when I first started dating my now-husband what a panic he'd fly into making sure his nieces' birthday cards arrived exactly on their birthdays )not a day early or late).

Then I saw the repercussions when a card arrived a day or two late: a long ranting phone call blaming him for ruining the day; that her daughter's self esteem would suffer; that she felt personally insulted.

Totally crazy! Obviously 15 years later we have three kids she sometimes forgets/ is late.

Teach your kids to be grateful for the love they get, and to enjoy a birthday which gets celebrated over days as pressies trickle in. To use a birthday as a stick to beat people with leads only to unhappiness.

Waspsarearseholes · 29/09/2021 20:02

I'm sure the Mumsnet collective are sharing your prayers that your 15 year old daughter's feelings weren't hurt by having to put a piece of cardboard in the recycling bin one day later than all the others.

Takeaway2021 · 29/09/2021 20:02

I agree, what is the point of a late birthday card, you have one day, my BIL/SIl send mine
and my sons card late every year, I put them straight in the bin unopened. If people cannot be organised enough, what is the point? It's the same date every year. We have known them for 27 years!

MiddlesexGirl · 29/09/2021 20:03

Some people are perfect, others aren't. I'm in the latter category.

baggingareaunattended · 29/09/2021 20:06

I agree, my family do this all the time. They see it's someone's birthday then post a card the next day or even a few days later. So a week after the birthday it arrives. Just don't bother.

LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 20:08

I had someone whine to me that I sent a card a couple of days late to her - i wasn't late again, I just stopped sending theM

LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 20:10

@Takeaway2021

I agree, what is the point of a late birthday card, you have one day, my BIL/SIl send mine and my sons card late every year, I put them straight in the bin unopened. If people cannot be organised enough, what is the point? It's the same date every year. We have known them for 27 years!
What a waste! Ask them not to bother sending them if you are going to be that ungrateful
Takeaway2021 · 29/09/2021 20:16

It's not about being ungrateful, it's about the fact that they should have respect for you on your birthday. One day per year!

Ileflottante · 29/09/2021 20:24

Maybe 15 but she's still a child with feelings that I pray were not hurt.

Bit dramatic. You yourself confess she’s only interested in the cash so I’m sure the little money grabber can wait. 😂

Dee1975 · 29/09/2021 20:24

Good for you op. Better than me. I am always late. I don’t do it on purpose. I know I need to get better at it. But I’m sure there is a lot worse I could do in society than send a late birthday card ….

Getyourownback · 29/09/2021 20:25

@Takeaway2021

I agree, what is the point of a late birthday card, you have one day, my BIL/SIl send mine and my sons card late every year, I put them straight in the bin unopened. If people cannot be organised enough, what is the point? It's the same date every year. We have known them for 27 years!
You’d feel a bit sick if there’d been cash in them!
MumofBoys79 · 29/09/2021 20:26

I am terrible at remembering birthdays.

But, I do think there's no benefit in receiving a birthday card after the day, if I'm honest.

Takeaway2021 · 29/09/2021 20:34

Absolutely no chance of cash in them, just a card that arrives at some point in your birthday month

LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 20:37

@Takeaway2021

It's not about being ungrateful, it's about the fact that they should have respect for you on your birthday. One day per year!
Yes one day per year. Which is important to the person having the birthday. The world doesn't stop on that day . OP's DD gets a card with money in it but it arrives a day late. She still gets the money . But OP seems it a disaster of biblical proportions that this happens.

I wonder what would happen if the card arrived on time but with no money? Presumably the OP would be delighted

LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 20:38

@Takeaway2021

Absolutely no chance of cash in them, just a card that arrives at some point in your birthday month
Then tell them. They have bought a card and posted it - save them the money and the hassle in future and at least admit you throw it away without opening it so they know not to bother in future
Laiste · 29/09/2021 20:39

Why does the ''point'' of a card disappear after 12pm midnight?

A card is a physical sign of good wishes from a friend or relative. Why would you fling it in the bin just because it's a day late!?

Would you chuck a gift in the bin unopened as well?
Childish IMO.

LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 20:41

Come on OP - would a card with no money be okay if it was to arrive on the day?

Takeaway2021 · 29/09/2021 20:44

@Laiste

Why does the ''point'' of a card disappear after 12pm midnight?

A card is a physical sign of good wishes from a friend or relative. Why would you fling it in the bin just because it's a day late!?

Would you chuck a gift in the bin unopened as well?
Childish IMO.

It's not though, if they actually cared, they would make sure it reached you on your birthday, again one day per year.
LukeEvansWife · 29/09/2021 20:46

And if the recipient cared that the gesture had been made, they wouldn't chuck it away.

Takeaway2021 · 29/09/2021 20:51

@LukeEvansWife

And if the recipient cared that the gesture had been made, they wouldn't chuck it away.
Late cards are late cards, it's tokenistic at best, oops I forgot, here is a late card.
hairybakers · 29/09/2021 20:52

It's all the drama Mick, I just love it !