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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask cleaner why she is being so off with me?

108 replies

TrinidadQueen · 26/09/2021 21:52

She can't look me in the eye.
Is rude in texts. Not saying hi just saying 'That's fine.'etc.

I have asked her to work shorter hours this week but made it clear she will have more next week. I have also let her know the schedule late but explained that was because of my own workplace letting me know late. I know she is experiencing some health issues and do wonder if it is spilling into work. Although I have already told her she can work less hours if needed, she did not seem keen on this idea.
Just not sure how to approach this.

OP posts:

DownToTheSeaAgain · 26/09/2021 21:58

Of course you are not unreasonable to ask if she is ok. What is slightly unreasonable is posting it in AIBU

Clymene · 26/09/2021 22:08

Well if you're cutting her hours and paying her less I'm not surprised she's pissed off with you.

Toomanyradishes · 26/09/2021 22:12

Have ypu just asumed she can work extra next week or did you ask? Because if she has a regular set of customers you could be causing her a lot of aggro to rearrange things to accomodate you.

grapewine · 26/09/2021 22:12

Not saying hi in texts is rude?

But if she's struggling with her health, it'll probably be that. Plus the cut hours, I'd imagine.

SeasonFinale · 26/09/2021 22:14

Messing about with hours. Telling her it's less this week and assuming she can do more next week. And you think it is her that is rude? Wow.

Viviennemary · 26/09/2021 22:14

Its quite cheeky of you to ask her to work less hours if you have agreed on a set number which is the usual arrangement. Now you are messing about with timings. No wonder she is fed up. YABU.

Postdatedpandemic · 26/09/2021 22:16

Most people employ a cleaner on regular set hours. This allows the cleaner to have other clients and to earn a living. Your short notice mucking about with hours is a pain in the backside.

Why does the standard procedure not work for you?

MiddleParking · 26/09/2021 22:17

So you’re telling her a whole load of stuff you know she won’t like and how it isn’t your problem and you’re pissed off that she’s saying “that’s fine” instead of “hi, that’s fine” and you’re considering confronting her for it? Yes, YABU.

Jarstastic · 26/09/2021 22:17

Is she getting less money this week? And only informed late? If so, it’s pretty loud and clear.

Why does your work impact hers? Why can’t she have the same hours at your house every week?

If you really need to have less hours this week and more hours next week (though it sounds terribly inconvenient for her) I hope you are paying the same as usual this week and banking some of the hours for next week.

Marmalady75 · 26/09/2021 22:23

I don’t blame her one bit if you come across as rude and entitled in your texts to her as you do here. You are mucking about with her livelihood and expect her to bow and scrape to you.
OP: Golly gosh my hired help didn’t say hi when I cut her hours and pay by text at late notice.
Mumsnet: YABU and rude!

MrsRobbieHart · 26/09/2021 22:25

You’re messing her around. Fewer hours this week and just assuming she can fit in or cope with extra hours next week. I couldn’t so I would have to swallow the loss. And giving her the schedule late is also crap. I realise you say it’s due to your work but that shouldn’t be made her problem. Why do her working hours depend on yours?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 26/09/2021 22:28

Everything the others have already said.

You're messing about with her hours, I'm self employed and it's such a pain when customers think they can just add on hours like I don't have anyone else to deal with. It causes more problems along the line than you realise, you also didn't help by telling her late.

Jk987 · 26/09/2021 22:28

I hope you're paying her decent money.

MiaMarshmallows · 26/09/2021 22:30

She's fed up and I do not blame her. She does not fit around your needs and your life. She has a life outside of you.
It may not work for her to be paid less one week and more the next even if it does balance itself out.
As for a late schedule that would annoy anyone. You're asking her to be ok with an awful lot.

LSLLM · 26/09/2021 22:31

The poor lass won’t be able to plan anything for her own life. She must be miserable

3scape · 26/09/2021 22:33

You're not a reliable client and you're passing on your employmemt issues to someone who works for you.

Also she's saying "That's fine" and you're reading a whole lot of other words that aren't there. You're under pressure and leaping to conclusions

Futurecatmum2 · 26/09/2021 22:33

YABU - as others have said, that is really not OK, OP (and it’s fewer hours*)

*sorry

listsandbudgets · 26/09/2021 22:35

Did you ask her or tell her OP?

"I'm really sorry bit I need less hours this week but can offer x hours next week and week after if that would suit you. I can still pay full this week and you can make up hours to suit you later if its easier for you"

comes across very differently to

" Please just do half the hours this week you can add them on next week"

AlbaAlba · 26/09/2021 22:39

I think YABU.

Cleaners usually have regular clients, arranged so they group locations together where possible, with limited travel time between each location. If she normally does you for 9-12, she probably has her next client booked in a 12.15 or something. She can't move around her other clients to suit you like this, and providing late notice is also not on.

On top of that, paying her less this week and adding more next week, then even if she can fit it in, she might be relying on your paying her the usual amount this week so that she can pay her rent/food shopping. Next week may not be any use.

You're completely messing her about and changing hours (and thus also pay) like that is not how cleaning services usually work!

Summerfun54321 · 26/09/2021 23:15

How do you think she fits her other clients in if you’re wanting to be flexible with her hours each week? Strange that you’ve assumed this is ok. Mostly cleaners either do regular hours each week or do one off cleans (much higher rate). You’re messing her around.

Kite22 · 26/09/2021 23:17

Not sure which way to vote.

YWNBU to ask her is everything is alright if you have detected that something isn't
BUT
YABU to be starting a thread criticising her when it seems it is you that is not being fair to her.

There is nothing wrong with answering "That's fine" if someone says "Is it okay if..." or "Can I come a bit earlier than you were expecting me" etc
You are messing her about with her working pattern and her income. I don't know her financial circumstances, but, as a rule, cleaners aren't so well off they can afford to drop hours and not notice the impact.

Schmoozer · 26/09/2021 23:24

Blimey - u are messing your cleaner about !
She will have a life outside of you !!!! Be consistent. She should bin u off when she gets a better offer !!

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 27/09/2021 00:00

If your boss phoned you and told you that this week your working hours are reduced but next week you can work more hours than normal or just be paid less.... would you be pissed off?

violetbunny · 27/09/2021 00:24

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey

If your boss phoned you and told you that this week your working hours are reduced but next week you can work more hours than normal or just be paid less.... would you be pissed off?

This. Especially if you're earning a relatively low wage and only just getting by week to week.

Wildheartsease · 27/09/2021 00:36

You should pay her for her regular hours - even if you don't need her this week.

How can she make a living if people stop/start paying like this?

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