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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel left out?

70 replies

pcofmushu · 26/09/2021 18:53

BF is currently out for a meal with his parents, his sister and her partner, and his brother and his partner. I wasn't invited and I'm sat here at home alone wondering why???
Feeling pretty crap about it tbh.

OP posts:
IsDaveThere · 26/09/2021 18:55

That's not nice. How long have you been together? Have you asked him why you weren't invited?

Dinoroaraus · 26/09/2021 18:57

How long have you been together?

mrsbitaly · 26/09/2021 18:58

Have you met his family yet? How long have you been together?

Original poster
pcofmushu · 26/09/2021 18:58

We have been together for 18 months. I haven't said anything to him yet, he is still out with them at the restaurant!

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 26/09/2021 19:00

Yes,is it a new relationship and his siblings partners are known longer?
They could be talking about family things you dont know about yet.

It could be for a million different reasons but you won't know til you ask.

You can talk to your partner.
Could you say how you're feeling and ask why you weren't invited?

Yanbu in feeling left out.

I would be too but I would ask, instead of wondering and feeling down about it.

IsDaveThere · 26/09/2021 19:01

I haven't said anything to him yet, he is still out with them at the restaurant!

But you must have known he was going, why didn't you ask then? Have you met his family before?

Notimeforaname · 26/09/2021 19:01

Ah sorry op. 18 months I see. So not exactly new!

Was it a last minute thing or did you know in advance it was going ahead?

FreshFreesias · 26/09/2021 19:01

It’s very mean.

Original poster
pcofmushu · 26/09/2021 19:01

I guess I won't know until I ask. We have been together for 18 months, the siblings have been in their relationships for 4 and 3 months respectively.
Feeling left out is a horrible feeling :(

OP posts:
nyktipolos · 26/09/2021 19:02

Do you live together?

Do you live close to him?

Theres got to be a reason you haven't been invited.

Macncheeseballs · 26/09/2021 19:02

That's shit, I would say something

Original poster
pcofmushu · 26/09/2021 19:03

@IsDaveThere

I haven't said anything to him yet, he is still out with them at the restaurant!

But you must have known he was going, why didn't you ask then? Have you met his family before?

I was told at the 11th hour "I'm meeting XXX later tonight" - have met his family many times. I was anticipating an invite in the short period that I knew about it but FB pics show them all having a great time!
OP posts:
Original poster
pcofmushu · 26/09/2021 19:03

P.S apparently his mum booked the table last weekend!

OP posts:
Highflyingadored · 26/09/2021 19:06

That is really odd and I dont blame you for feeling left out, I would too.

I think you need to ask him why you weren't invited. If it was just parents and siblings thats one thing but to invite 2 out of 3 partners that is wrong.

Is your relationship ok otherwise? Has he invited you on family dos and things before?

GaryLurcher19 · 26/09/2021 19:07

@pcofmushu

I guess I won't know until I ask. We have been together for 18 months, the siblings have been in their relationships for 4 and 3 months respectively. Feeling left out is a horrible feeling :(
First up, there's nowt wrong with people in a family going for a meal. There's nowt wrong with leaving partners out - provided it's fair.

So they have been in relationships less time than you and your DP?

That makes it less acceptable.

Does the family have any historic reason to dislike you, OP?

Highflyingadored · 26/09/2021 19:07

Just saw your update.... so has his mum excluded you?

If she has why has your partner not called her out on it? If he was dedicated to you then he should have

Original poster
pcofmushu · 26/09/2021 19:08

@Highflyingadored

That is really odd and I dont blame you for feeling left out, I would too.

I think you need to ask him why you weren't invited. If it was just parents and siblings thats one thing but to invite 2 out of 3 partners that is wrong.

Is your relationship ok otherwise? Has he invited you on family dos and things before?

It feels so personal as it has never happened before. I've always been included and this time around I seem to be the only person not invited. It feels really bizarre, and that he didn't think to invite me along either?
OP posts:
RoisinD · 26/09/2021 19:10

So who is posting it on Facebook? That seems cruel. You have a boyfriend problem.

Original poster
pcofmushu · 26/09/2021 19:10

Absolutely! I wouldn't expect to be included in ALL family affairs, but the fact that I'm the only partner not invited is what feels odd. Like, why?
I don't know of any reason why they shouldn't like me, but I guess I could speculate and mull over the slightest things trying to work that one out. Something about this just feels... odd? And hurtful.. I wasn't even invited?

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 26/09/2021 19:25

That’s low. You need to ask him.

Sorry OP.

Amandasummers · 26/09/2021 19:41

Thats bizarre. YANBU to feel like you do.

Dinoroaraus · 26/09/2021 19:41

I'm wondering if it's your boyfriend who didn't want to bring you. Is everything OK otherwise in your relationship?

Kite22 · 26/09/2021 22:00

You need to ask the boyfriend.

At best, it could be a misunderstanding.... he thought it was the 5 of them, and then his siblings turned up with their partners ??

But if not, and he didn't pass on an invitation, you need to ask why not.
Or if his parents asked him to come alone (seems unlikely if newer boy / girlfriends are there), then you need to ask him why.

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 26/09/2021 22:31

I think you have a boyfriend problem

pelosi · 26/09/2021 22:33

That’s really bad.