What stupid things do you do that no one else knows about?

[FancySomeChips]

I used to be a party animal. LOVED clubbing every weekend (multiple times a week as a student), would dance for hours and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Tonight I am sitting in my cuddle chair putting chewits down my bra to warm them up before I eat them.
I’m home alone.

How life has changed.

Make me feel better, what weird stuff do you do that no one else knows about?!

No-one else knows because they all assume I’m at home watching strictly

I interview myself and give long detailed responses. Sometimes with an accent.

I will have a full on conversation with my horse. Tonight it went like this ‘Come on pony, hurry up. Are you coming in for your tea? Are you a good boy? No, the people watching you from the path aren’t horse eating monsters. Come here, why have you run away, you silly pony?’ (He’s a horse, not a pony)

He then walked up the lane and I talked to him all the way,, past the taxi driver waiting for someone ‘Are you going to spook at the man because he’s not normally there. No? Oh, good boy, well done! Do you want a carrot?’ The I should probably be locked up. 😳

The only sweets I buy are Lovehearts. I put four in my mouth and suck them for a bit then crunch them. It is my favourite treat.

@Imfinallyhappy1

I like applying for jobs and interviewing. I have no intention of taking the job as I love where I work but I love prepping and asking questions and the general interview process.

Sorry to be the misery on this thread but that's a really dickish thing to do - you're taking interview opportunities away from people who genuinely want/need those jobs.

Libraryghost - nicking Sir Cuddlngton! You do know that the more daft nicknames you give them the more they are loved? :)

Back to my most recent secret obsession (courtesy of a MN post) - Watching episode after episode of kids programme Bluey while playing with the toy version purchased from Arguuus; I’m nearly 50 years of age FGS!

SafeMove I frequently have a plan on what to do if there's a bear attack. I live in London.

@SophieHMS

There are four huge conker trees that I made friends with during lockdown 1 walks. I still pat them every time I pass them now. at least I've stopped hugging them

I say hello to old oaks, telling them how magnificent they are and pat them. If I sit against one I can feel the energy.

@BaronessKareness I used to have a German Shepherd dog and I can assure you they have a welsh accent. German! really that is just being incredibly silly. All Jack Russells have a Glaswegian accent. These are facts.

My two rescue dogs have accents from the places they were rescued, so one has a Scottish west coast accent and the other an Irish accent. Obviously I have to speak for them :)
I've just slightly horrified myself now by realising that I've been speaking up for the dogs for years, and no-one else in my family ever does this! I'm the only dog translator. They are quite chatty too - they never stop talking. Sometimes they argue with each other.

@ArcheryAnnie well London has a zoo and there is a possibility of an escaped bear so I kind of think it is sensible!

@FancySomeChips

I used to be a party animal. LOVED clubbing every weekend (multiple times a week as a student), would dance for hours and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Tonight I am sitting in my cuddle chair putting chewits down my bra to warm them up before I eat them.
I’m home alone.

How life has changed.

Make me feel better, what weird stuff do you do that no one else knows about?!

I used to eat chewits with the wrappers still on!

@BibiBlocksberg You are welcome to Sir Cuddlington but please do not use his full title. Sir Cuddlington of Cuddlemore. I announce it when he comes through the catflap 🤣

@Libraryghost

I give my cat daft names. Right now he is Mr Fatty Fluff. Yesterday he was Sir Cuddlington. He isn’t impressed but it’s how I get my kicks nowadays.

One of mine is currently The Fat Oaf.

@ConsulTremas

I have a secret, shameful love for Fray Bentos pies. I don’t do it often but sometimes if I’m home alone and I know everyone will be out for bit, I go buy one, cook it and eat it. I then dispose of the packaging so no-one will ever know.

I do this with pot noodles! You’ve also just reminded those little Frey bentos puddings you had to steam!

Things must meet their destiny. Food, clothing, electrical items…

I can’t tolerate a remote control pointing at me. I can “feel” the laser and have to move it away. Dp knows about this one, but if I’m anywhere else I have to just sneak it round somehow

I exclaim “Hey you!” at objects when they’re naughty and jump out of my hand/leap off a shelf etc.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

I sing to my cat. About my cat. At the last count, there are 7 different adapted songs and 4 originals. I may need help...

I do this too!

I also do a voice for all our pets, it's the same voice and accent across the board. I then answer them in my own voice. My DDs like it when I pretend to argue with the cats/chickens/guinea pigs/fish, the back and forth can go on for ages.

I also re-wrote "Look Down" from Les Mis to suit our late pet Pug who could never figure out where we had dropped food down for him! Beady eyed mad thing he was RIP.

I refer to all dogs as "good lads" even if all they are doing is sitting down doing nothing right up to stealing food from strangers picnics. Good lads.

We are getting a dog soon I hope! So I can have convos with him too.

@OuiOuiBonjour, you sound fantastic, I want to be your friend! Have you thought about local theatre/drama classes??

When I visit my nan and grandad’s grave I always feel the need to acknowledge Doris who is buried next to her. I sort of nod and make that face, the one you make when you walk past someone in the street that you don’t know but you don’t want to ignore. It’s getting more and more awkward every time I visit.

@4BlueTowers

I can't have any part of my body hang over the edge of the mattress when sleeping. I am worried someone with an axe under the bed will chop off whatever overhangs.

I am 49.

I used to do that too, but it wasn’t chopping I was afraid of. It was that someone/thing would gently and slowly stroke my foot with its cold scaly hand…!

MsWalterMitty

You can still buy Fray Bentos puddings in Home Bargains and B&M!!
Microwave for about 3/4 mins and enjoy their filthy suety stodginess!!
Not that I ever do….😇
No… not at all….

Oh! We did classical condition and Pavlov's dog at Uni last year and lockdown boredom now means the cat comes when I whistle for her.

I talk to myself... a lot. I didn't even realise I did until the other day I thought wtf are you doing.
I also rant to myself if my DP has pissed me off and he's gone to work.

It's like I'm talking to someone but I'm actually not.. .

I also when alone and it only ever happens when I'm alone if I hurt myself or bang my arm on the door, or my bastard pocket catches on a door handle I go into a weird language. To the point, i actually wonder if it's some sort of language I know but not aware I know.. it sounds a bit erm Spanish...

Other than that, I'm pretty sane(ish) .