What stupid things do you do that no one else knows about?

[FancySomeChips]

I used to be a party animal. LOVED clubbing every weekend (multiple times a week as a student), would dance for hours and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Tonight I am sitting in my cuddle chair putting chewits down my bra to warm them up before I eat them.
I’m home alone.

How life has changed.

Make me feel better, what weird stuff do you do that no one else knows about?!

When I place books on a bookshelf, I always consider whether the authors pressed up against each other will get on.

Ever since I was two or three years old I've always worried about a rat coming up round the U bend when I was sat on the loo. I was seriously freaked out when I discovered pretty recently this really is a thing.😱

I like applying for jobs and interviewing. I have no intention of taking the job as I love where I work but I love prepping and asking questions and the general interview process.

We also have voices for the cats in our neighbourhood - the local Tom cat is Ray Winstone but our cat sounds like Freddie Flintoff.

@StorminaBcup

We also have voices for the cats in our neighbourhood - the local Tom cat is Ray Winstone but our cat sounds like Freddie Flintoff.

Omg

I have a shocking sense of direction and got lost a few years ago on the way to vote (the polling place was a few mins from my home). I wandered around the same couple of streets for an hour or more and there was a ginger cat in one of the gardens. Every time I went past him I nodded and said 'alright'?

He didn't seem to mind

@ShinyMe - that's brilliant! Love a bit of Tom Jones.

My cat meows a lot. I meow back. This goes on for a long long time. Neighbours must think I'm nuts.

I can't sleep unless I have a bit of quilt scrunched up in front of my face and I hate my knee's touching each other so I have to tuck the quilt between my legs. My quilt looks a mess the minute I get in the bed.

Mars Bars - eat the chocolate off first, then the toffee. So am left with a disgusting looking slug. I can't eat them normally so never eat them in public.

We have chickens and dh ‘puts them to bed at night’ because otherwise they will roost on the roof of their very expensive auto door opening and closing house. He picks them all up one by one, stroked them under their wings and talks to them telling them to have sweet dreams
When he’s not here and I have to do it I just open the door to their run and they walk in and I close it. I am not picking up chickens and they are welcome to sit and sleep on the roof if it means I don’t have to touch them
Dh thinks I’m uncaring about them. He’s kind of right (except I always feed them nice treats etc and buy them toys)

My JRT "speaks" in a french accent, obviously he doesn't really speak but when I have conversations with him he always answers me with a french twang and with quite a lot of disdain!

“I like applying for jobs and interviewing. I have no intention of taking the job as I love where I work but I love prepping and asking questions and the general interview process.”

Do you get offered them? What do you say when you have to decline?

My current favourite is to the tune of 'you are my sunshine' to my boy Fergus. " You are my Fergface, my furry Fergface. You make me happy, la la la la. Your furry tum tum, your furry bum bum, please don't take my Fergface away...

Eddie Murphy did a song years ago... "Party All the Time"
I sing some of it to my dog.... "my doggy wants to party all the time, party all the time...."

I squat to wee without touching the seat. I havent sat to have a wee since I was little! Obviously different for pooping.....

@StorminaBcup OMG me too and a twix!!

… I also may wave goodbye to my laptop when I log off

@StorminaBcup

“I like applying for jobs and interviewing. I have no intention of taking the job as I love where I work but I love prepping and asking questions and the general interview process.”

Do you get offered them? What do you say when you have to decline?

I will say I have taken another position and will let them know if I decide to change in the future and thank them for their time. I’ve been offered a few which is nice but again it’s also good for interview feedback so you can change your process the next time.

Multiple dogs and cat, we have conversations with all of them. It’s not just me but the rest of the family do this too. I always tell the dogs, “Night my girls, love you all, be good, I’ll see you in the morning!” As I shut them up at bedtime and similar before I leave the house, my parents used to do the same.

The animals are part of my family, of course I talk to them and they talk back, but with less sass than my children, usually!

I spend a lot of time worrying about people, as though I somehow think that that will magically make their lives easier. I only realised last week that all I'm doing is giving myself indigestion.

I slightly think I shouldn't have read this thread as now I am afraid of open wardrobes and people with axes under the bed.

I like the heated chewit idea though. That is great.

I toast pancakes til crunchy, let them go cold, and then put butter on them.

I also warm things in my bra. Like mascara.

When alone, I practise accents and impressions, often including physical characteristics (i.e a walk, a dance move, a tic) which I rehearse until I get perfect. Sometimes these are famous people, or "characters" I know in real life. Other times these are hybrids of funny people I've observed on a holiday or at the supermarket and created a character out of like "Angry Mexican Lady at an Outlet Mall", "Drunk Elderly New Yorker On A Cruise", "Pervy Checkout Dad at Aldi".

I have no idea why I do this. Occasionally I'll break an impression or accent out with friends and they will be like "WTF?! That is absolutely uncanny! It was like you were possessed by Kourtney Kardashian?!?!" And I'm just all non chalant, "Yeah...I just easily pick up on weird quirks and accents and stuff. I think I have a good ear or something." They've started going "oh! oh! Do the Grumpy Geordie Park Ranger one again!!!" "Show Katie your impression of when your Mum took too much Xanax in Atlanta! It's hilarious."

I have no other outlet for this "hobby". I don't know why I do it. It's really really weird. And random.

I also have a "hoochy" playlist which is reserved for my regular "dance like a Ho" sessions in the shower. It's a walk in shower/wet room so I won't get injured.

I'm generally quite shy and people can think I'm aloof or reserved.

But when I'm home alone, it's like I'm some sort of variety performer. Totally unhinged. And very serious about it.

I genuinely think I'd be committed if anyone witnessed it.

I pick my cat Cassie up and dance around singing "Baby Cass Do do do do" to the tune of Baby Shark. I ask her questions and reply in her voice, she sounds like a LOLCat.

"Are you a pretty girl?"
"Yes mummy, I is the prettiest girl in the world."

I spent 15 minutes on the way home from work yesterday carefully pspspspsing, talking quietly and blinking slowly at a random cat. I managed to pet him/her so consider it time well spent.

I talk to my robo vac. Scold him for missing bits.

I do an AMAZING Morag from Married at First Sight by the way, especially her high pitched, nasal sobbing. I've been practising that one all week and I'm just waiting for her to come up in conversation so I can give her her debut.

I think she's my finest creation yet.

Oh! I will also play karaoke songs on youtube and have a little concert with myself, I'm really good at "Bye Bye Bye" by N'Sync, will never do it in public.

I will also play songs which have proper dances and do them - Steps, the Macarena, Whigfield etc. learn the dance moves. Most of the first few weeks of lockdown 1 was taken up by "Think About Things", the Iceland Eurovision entry by Daði Freyr.

@slashlover

Oh! I will also play karaoke songs on youtube and have a little concert with myself, I'm really good at "Bye Bye Bye" by N'Sync, will never do it in public.

I will also play songs which have proper dances and do them - Steps, the Macarena, Whigfield etc. learn the dance moves. Most of the first few weeks of lockdown 1 was taken up by "Think About Things", the Iceland Eurovision entry by Daði Freyr.

Have you learned the entire Single Ladies dance yet? It's a great "project". Available on Youtube at half speed for ease of learning. Just sayin...

@Neron

If there's 2 items left on a shelf, that I only need to purchase 1 of - I have to take them both. Can't leave 1, it will get lonely...

I do a similar thing with bananas. I can't bear to separate bananas from their 'friends', so I always try to find a bunch that contains exactly the number I require (even if they are a bit ropey...).

When I see magpies and crows I (quietly) tell them that they are beautiful and gorgeous. Which they are, obvs.

@Nayday your post really made me laugh but I also speak to my dog and she also has an American accent when she speaks back to me. I realise i am completely crazy but she's old and it's a tough habit to try and stop after so long!

If someone completes a jigsaw in our house my youngest child dances on it - it was my way of involving her when she was too young to actually do jigsaws. She's 11 and we still do it. Her older sister said it was only recently she realised other families don't do this.