What stupid things do you do that no one else knows about?

[FancySomeChips]

I used to be a party animal. LOVED clubbing every weekend (multiple times a week as a student), would dance for hours and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Tonight I am sitting in my cuddle chair putting chewits down my bra to warm them up before I eat them.
I’m home alone.

How life has changed.

Make me feel better, what weird stuff do you do that no one else knows about?!

I put headphones on and dance like it’s the 90s, and I am in a nightclub.

To DH I say I’m going upstairs to do stretching/yoga

I lock the door

I’m kind of not lying, as the sort of dancing I do def involves stretching too

@Overtired201984 oh my I first did this when I was pregnant with my eldest 25 years ago .walkers ready salted and a Kit Kat .... at least once a month I carry on the tradition lol

When I come home and the dog goes crazy complaining how long I’ve been out and that I left him all alone….. I whine back at him (in dog whines). He gets more and more animated and we have a conversation in dog whines…..
I was leaving a message for my SIL once and forgot it was recording as I walked through the door and she heard the whole thing. She said it was hilarious, but she was slightly concerned that at times she couldn’t tell who was who!

I check under the beds for clowns every time I get into bed…. A lay over from watching Poltergeist as a child. Personally it’s just good sense. But I do sometimes wonder if it’s necessary because we don’t actually have any clown toys in the house.

And I clean my bathroom sink the morning of the day the cleaner comes. For some reason I don’t want her to see my sink with toothpaste marks or water splashes in it…..

@ConsulTremas

I have a secret, shameful love for Fray Bentos pies. I don’t do it often but sometimes if I’m home alone and I know everyone will be out for bit, I go buy one, cook it and eat it. I then dispose of the packaging so no-one will ever know.

Now and then I buy a couple of those, for Really Lazy Dinner days. Or to be more precise, CBA to cook days. One each, with frozen peas. Dh never complains - we quite like them.

Frey Bentos pies are lush but in a forbidden way. I indulge now and again
As for stupid things I do - I talk to my cats as if they are humans outside within full hearing range of the neighbours

@pigsDOfly

ShinyMe

Talking to animals is fine, loads of people do that, it's the voice I do for her when she 'answers' me that's the problem and the things she says

You are not the only one !! Sometimes it is the only intelligent conversation you get

@Notsandwiches

If someone completes a jigsaw in our house my youngest child dances on it - it was my way of involving her when she was too young to actually do jigsaws. She's 11 and we still do it. Her older sister said it was only recently she realised other families don't do this.

This is adorable 🥰

@Neron

If there's 2 items left on a shelf, that I only need to purchase 1 of - I have to take them both. Can't leave 1, it will get lonely...

I do this!!!!!!

I have a cactus called Carlos and when I want a second opinion I say let's ask Carlos. Carlos always says 'yay!' with his arms in the air because that's how he's built. To annoy me DS19 calls him Cameron. I also have a beaded Mexican skull called Luis. He doesn't say much but he's always smiling.

@NotMyCat * Not me but my dad
He comes over to do "important DIY"
Really he's sat on my sofa drinking coffee, watching top gear and eating a fray bentos pie which my mum won't have in the house
He also takes out his hearing aids when mum annoys him*

My. dad would do this, Mum used to put him in a diet all the time as she didn't like eating meat so he'd eat a predominately veggie diet, so he would come over to my house, under the guise of 'doing some diy for me' but I'd cook him a bacon sarnie and we'd sit and natter eating our bacon and drinking tea

I buy Nutoka (aldi chocolate spread) for the kids, but Nutella for me which I hide and then eat with a tea spoon when everyone has gone to bed

I frequently perform shows in my kitchen ,with a wooden spoon as a microphone, when I’m on my own. I have a great range too. One minute I’m a rock chick, the next I’m a west end star belting out a classic. In my head my voice is flawless. Not so much in real life though. The dogs are never impressed.

Me and DH have a trio of stuffed animals, with distinct personalities, voices, likes and dislikes

I feel so much better now I’ve read this. I have a teddy that sleeps on the bed. He has a whole life that me and DP talk about. Teddy has a job He has always worked from home and in between taking on legal cases he is also a martial arts expert. He does some dodgy dealings too which we try pretend we don’t know about and worry that one day there’ll be a knock on the door by the cops at 6am and he will be carted off for questioning.). Lockdown hasn’t changed his life at all as he’s always operated from under the duvet.

Sometimes I’ll go in the bedroom to find DP has put the mobile phone by teddy’s ear and given him a pen and notepad. Or DP will sometimes ask what sort of day teddy’s had and I’ll say there’s been some heated sounding pnonecalls and he‘s exhausted and fallen asleep . This all seems entirely normal but as I write it down realise it’s bloody ridiculous. This thread is making me feel less weird about teddy.

I talk to my plants..today it was 'oh there you are you've been ages getting going well done!' About the only thing I have I common with Prince Charles...
also, I always smile at myself in the mirror. Try it, does you the power of good. And when switching the mirror on or off via the motion sensor, ALWAYS jazz hands. Makes you feel epic...

I colour-coordinate my washing when I peg it out as much as I can. It can be a bit problematic though, because I like all the trousers together, all the tops together and so on.

But Fray Bentos pies are the BEST! The contrast of crispy top, flabby pastry underneath Is truly great. It shouldn't be but it is!

Absolutely this. Also talking to animals and doing the animal’s side of the conversation in a silly voice - completely normal.

@LetHimHaveIt the best one is Justin Fletcher's version of the macarena!!

@4BlueTowers

I can't have any part of my body hang over the edge of the mattress when sleeping. I am worried someone with an axe under the bed will chop off whatever overhangs.

I am 49.

Me too and I'm nearly 40 🤣

Not sure how weird this is but I NEED asmr to fall asleep. I listen to people brushing each others hair or stroking a microphone with a make up brush to fall asleep.. Yes I’m unable to get to sleep without my whispery Videos. I have dreadful insomnia and ASMR really helps. After around a decade the silence if I don’t have it playing just seems wrong. I’m glad I live alone. When DP stays over I can’t listen as it spooks him out. He says it’s like listening to a horror film sound track. Nobody else I know gets the ASMR thing.

@EastWestWhosBest

As for singing to your cats, when my friend comes to feed my cat if we go away she will write a song just for her.

“I am a super scooper with my pooper scooper, scooping up your poooooo, like I always dooooo, then you do another pooooo”.

Whenever I hear the place "Leatherhead" mentioned on the radio I have to shout "rubber bollocks"

@MoltenLasagne I do this too 😂 I thought I was the only one hahaha!!

I talk to my two cats and one of them answers back.

@Neron

If there's 2 items left on a shelf, that I only need to purchase 1 of - I have to take them both. Can't leave 1, it will get lonely...

For some reason I can't take the last item, in case there is something wrong with it

I can overcome this is really necessary, but of not I will wait and get it next time.