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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To confirm the date with him?

89 replies

Lizzie523 · 25/09/2021 12:57

Met a guy online after many messages/filtering and declining a few requests to meet from others. His messages have been very thoughtful and although I initially went quiet he persevered with getting to know me at a comfortable pace.

He asked me out and I accepted. He asked what time is best for me and I said Sunday (but ended up making it look like I meant Monday). When I clarified he replied saying he'd happily meet on either of those days and that he knew a few nice places we could go.

I then gave him my number, asking him to firm up plans by phone or whatsapp and he said he would add me there. It's Sat now and I've heard nothing since Thurs night.

I still have a good initial feeling about him and still want to see him, but I thought he might have been in touch by now. Plus I want to make other plans if it isn't happening. AIBU to contact him firming up a time and place?

OP posts:

SummerWhisper · 27/09/2021 10:27

I get the feeling that he asked to meet you later so his chances of action would be higher...that was a red flag for me. You have now slept with him. Did it feel equal? I really hope so.

Original poster

Lizzie523 · 27/09/2021 10:34

@SummerWhisper in the end he asked me to meet earlier so I don't think so!

I don't have any regrets.

OP posts:

UltimateBugKilla · 27/09/2021 16:37

Eh, sometimes we just need a bit of fun, hard to remember that deep into a relationship/marriage, glad you enjoyed yourself 😉

Original poster

Lizzie523 · 27/09/2021 19:08

Agreed @UltimateBugKilla ! After lunch we went back to his and are now cooking dinner together. It's been quite a crazy few days but memorable

Felt like I deserved some fun after this hellish year.

OP posts:

Animallover87 · 27/09/2021 19:37

Absolutely, spontaneity is the spice of life. Why not!

Sea62648 · 27/09/2021 20:38

Great update OP. have fun!

optimistic40 · 28/09/2021 18:50

Aw, hope it was all really enjoyable!

Original poster

Lizzie523 · 28/09/2021 21:48

Thanks @optimistic40 - it has given me a huge lift!

He was saying earlier it is strange how it feels like we have known each other for ages even though it has been days.

I stayed over with him, we watched a movie & he made me breakfast this morning. We are both singers and we spent time together working on music after breakfast. It was quite perfect. Before I left he said he is keen to see me again and that he doesn't want this to be like a 'hit it and quit it' thing . I have my doubts about long term compatibility.

In all honesty I'd be happy with both 1) seeing him more often for more intimate times or 2) enjoying that perfect couple of days we had and leaving it there. I don't think I intend to contact him again so maybe now I'll just see if he bothers to get in touch?

OP posts:

Frazzledmummy123 · 28/09/2021 22:05

It sounds like you both have a lot in common. Are you sure you would want to just leave it there just now? Even if you aren't after anything serious, it seems a shame after such a good weekend. I think he will definitely be in touch.

Poonmig · 28/09/2021 22:12

Good for you OP! ❤️

TimeForTeaAndG · 29/09/2021 17:07

It sounds like you've had a lot of fun. What are your doubts with the compatability?

Original poster

Lizzie523 · 29/09/2021 21:45

@TimeForTeaAndG @Frazzledmummy123 we do have a lot in common in terms of our interests and some of our values. It is clear not all of our values match up though & we probably have quite different goals for the future.

But that weekend was probably the calmest/happiest ive felt for some time. I would like to see him again but would worry about leading him on. It was also some of the best sex of my life

He hasn't contacted me since I left yesterday and vice versa. Maybe we are both waiting for the other? I personally couldn't deal with being ignored by making a move, I think it would need to be him!

OP posts:

Frazzledmummy123 · 29/09/2021 21:55

[quote Lizzie523]**@TimeForTeaAndG* @Frazzledmummy123* we do have a lot in common in terms of our interests and some of our values. It is clear not all of our values match up though & we probably have quite different goals for the future.

But that weekend was probably the calmest/happiest ive felt for some time. I would like to see him again but would worry about leading him on. It was also some of the best sex of my life

He hasn't contacted me since I left yesterday and vice versa. Maybe we are both waiting for the other? I personally couldn't deal with being ignored by making a move, I think it would need to be him![/quote]
Ok fair enough. It just sounded so good that if it does lead to anything else it might be a shame. However, if you say you can foresee issues then I guess keeping it casual if anything is probably best.

I would wait for him to make contact now and if/when he does, probably make it clear what you are wanting.

Original poster

Lizzie523 · 30/09/2021 00:14

Yes I'll see if he makes contact @Frazzledmummy123

I almost feel like I dreamt the whole thing! I know that sounds odd but I had this perfect few days and now back to the grind of normal life. In the past i'd have a tendency to obsess over the man but I feel completely content over the whole thing. It feels odd!

OP posts:

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