Scared of intruders

Nibblypiggotonabus · 2021-09-24T22:30:34+00:00

So this has been exacerbated by watching Manhunt but it dawned on me last night that I have spent years panicking and scared to go to sleep straight away for fear of someone breaking into the house. I eventually succumb to sleep but the thoughts and subsequent adrenaline keeps me awake often. I have no idea where this comes from. Every creak, noise I attribute to some nefarious nutcase. I'm mid 30's and feel utterly ridiculous for stressing about every rattle of a window or creak on the stairs. Am I the only one? AIBU? I can't do a vote as it's on an app...

gardeninggirl68 · 24/09/2021 23:36

im more scared of who is lurking under the bed or living in the loft!

Akire · 24/09/2021 23:44

I used to feel like that but then thought if someone actually broke in I would worry plenty enough right then. All worrying in advance would not make that fear any less. So convinced myself to not worry until there was something bloody worry about!

I live in flat so not as bad as house lots windows and doors. Get some basic door and window alarms and then least you have warning in the very unlikely event of break in.

etherealbeauty · 26/09/2021 06:15

I used to be exactly the same, I would stay awake every night. Then I got a dog and it's stopped completely as I know she would bark like crazy if anyone even got to the door or window

Shoxfordian · 26/09/2021 06:22

Try a door locking routine to convince yourself that you’re safe; do you live alone?

Naaaaah · 26/09/2021 06:24

same but I upped my security big time (cctv, alarms, internal door locks, door jammer etc) and I barely think about it now.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/09/2021 06:24

Get a security system for peace of mind.

lannistunut · 26/09/2021 06:26

This is a common and normal worry.

I have a burglar alarm and this enables me to feel that I can ignore small noises.

What security measures can you take to help you sleep better? I once had an alarm with a remote control, if I was worried I would get one of those again I think.

Henrysmycat · 26/09/2021 06:50

I used to sleep soundly until one night the cats went crazy scratching me. They are docile lazy buggers. At the time, I had a cat camera in the kitchen as I was monitoring which cat was eating what. That camera makes a sound when it adjust from day to night vision and was going crazy. Kitchen is away from the bedroom but at 3am, in a quiet neighbourhood and even quieter house it was audible.
Then I heard someone scrabbling and quietly trying to open the internal door that leads to the garage. I got up and caught this masked man with a torch in his hand trying to run out of the house and pushed a table to block my way sending all the bits and glass bowls smashing on the floor. Absolutely died. Until police and neighbours came, those were the longest 5 mins of my life. Screaming on my porch as his car sped off which was hidden under a big whipping willow tree.
No alarm or outside camera caught him and he was in my kitchen looking for my “keyless” car keys for a company car I had. I think.
All cameras and locks have been upgraded and a year on and I am still in therapy. I haven’t had a decent nights sleep and that is mostly because the police didn’t give a flying fuck because later on in that year they stole over 17 keyless cars in a 3 mile radius. And that why I think it was the car they wanted.
I lost all respect for the police as I had a kid sleeping upstairs crying and they couldn’t be arsed to even take a statement or look at the cat camera video as he was so clearly visible. Only months later and after case was closed they did ask for the video and probably to check with the other cars burglars in the area I assume.

DeathStare · 26/09/2021 06:54

@Henrysmycat

I used to sleep soundly until one night the cats went crazy scratching me. They are docile lazy buggers. At the time, I had a cat camera in the kitchen as I was monitoring which cat was eating what. That camera makes a sound when it adjust from day to night vision and was going crazy. Kitchen is away from the bedroom but at 3am, in a quiet neighbourhood and even quieter house it was audible. Then I heard someone scrabbling and quietly trying to open the internal door that leads to the garage. I got up and caught this masked man with a torch in his hand trying to run out of the house and pushed a table to block my way sending all the bits and glass bowls smashing on the floor. Absolutely died. Until police and neighbours came, those were the longest 5 mins of my life. Screaming on my porch as his car sped off which was hidden under a big whipping willow tree. No alarm or outside camera caught him and he was in my kitchen looking for my “keyless” car keys for a company car I had. I think. All cameras and locks have been upgraded and a year on and I am still in therapy. I haven’t had a decent nights sleep and that is mostly because the police didn’t give a flying fuck because later on in that year they stole over 17 keyless cars in a 3 mile radius. And that why I think it was the car they wanted. I lost all respect for the police as I had a kid sleeping upstairs crying and they couldn’t be arsed to even take a statement or look at the cat camera video as he was so clearly visible. Only months later and after case was closed they did ask for the video and probably to check with the other cars burglars in the area I assume.

I'm sorry you went through this but I really don't think this is in any way helpful to the OP

Spiindoctor · 26/09/2021 07:04

Well he was after the car - if he'd been about to murder you I think the police would be more interested.
Try to rationalise it.
I live in the countryside and DH is sometimes away.
Why would they break in - to steal my jewelry? well it's hidden in the bathroom cupboard and is prob worth 100 quid today, steal the microwave? it's old, the tele, everyone's got one and it's too big to easily steal.
What is worth a lot to them is the stuff in DH's shed, lots of tools etc
So they aren't going to come after me unless there a ?psychotic killer - so the odds of that are millions to one.
We do have newish cars so I suppose there's a chance of that. But not keyless or BMWs.

Globaluser · 26/09/2021 07:11

So you actually went and confronted this person who broke into your house?? Instead of phoning the police and then creeping into your child’s bedroom and waiting in there, you ACTUALLY confronted them??? @Henrysmycat

SoloISland · 26/09/2021 07:13

Blessedly safe here and currently leaving the only door open at night.

Small island. Few residents. One door. No car and even if? They boast in Orkney that they have no car thefts …

Divan bed ( which I curse often as so little storage space)

SoloISland · 26/09/2021 07:15

@Globaluser

So you actually went and confronted this person who broke into your house?? Instead of phoning the police and then creeping into your child’s bedroom and waiting in there, you ACTUALLY confronted them??? *@Henrysmycat*

Yep; and she chased him off. Great stuff

Globaluser · 26/09/2021 07:20

And you actually stood on your porch screaming at 3am!! No wonder your child was crying 😐

OP @Henrysmycat is perfect example of what not to do.

Henrysmycat · 26/09/2021 07:30

No, I didn’t chase him off or confronted him. I walked into the landing from my bedroom to see what the noise was. The landing is open and you can see all the floors including down the garage door. We saw each other and he run off, turning the table on his way out. I only went to the front door to scream for help once he had run off and his car sped off. I told the kid to lock herself in her room when she got up. I had to go and find the landline phone which at the time was so sonfused and couldn’t find as it wasn’t in its cradle.
I was of the opinion of leaving the mobile phones to charge downstairs away from the bedroom and had no other phones nearby. You have no idea how you are when you’re panicked and it’s 3am and just woken up. If any of you behave like a spy from mission impossible then congratulations. I was confused and scared.
Apologies if this was not helpful but I’m in a similar situation with my fears. Things do happen and you just need to be prepared and vigilant.

Shirleyphallus · 26/09/2021 07:37

@Globaluser

And you actually stood on your porch screaming at 3am!! No wonder your child was crying 😐

OP @Henrysmycat is perfect example of what not to do.

Jesus what a horrible thing to say

You have no idea how you’ll react in a situation like that. Plenty of people have thought out how they’d react then it comes to it and it’s the total opposite.

Having a go at a victim for not acting in the way you think they should have done is really shitty.

Globaluser · 26/09/2021 07:42

@Henrysmycat oh, my bad! Yeah obviously you wouldn’t know what you’d do until you’re in that situation. But I’d like to think I’d phone the police and hide in bed till he’s gone.

Globaluser · 26/09/2021 07:45

@Henrysmycat it’s the cat camera that confused me. I actually thought you saw the burglar in your house and then went downstairs.

Gubanc · 26/09/2021 07:47

@Henrysmycat

No, I didn’t chase him off or confronted him. I walked into the landing from my bedroom to see what the noise was. The landing is open and you can see all the floors including down the garage door. We saw each other and he run off, turning the table on his way out. I only went to the front door to scream for help once he had run off and his car sped off. I told the kid to lock herself in her room when she got up. I had to go and find the landline phone which at the time was so sonfused and couldn’t find as it wasn’t in its cradle. I was of the opinion of leaving the mobile phones to charge downstairs away from the bedroom and had no other phones nearby. You have no idea how you are when you’re panicked and it’s 3am and just woken up. If any of you behave like a spy from mission impossible then congratulations. I was confused and scared. Apologies if this was not helpful but I’m in a similar situation with my fears. Things do happen and you just need to be prepared and vigilant.

I don' think you have to justify your behaviour to anybody. I'd have probably done the same, I'd have probably even tried to confront/chase him away even, instincts kick in in these circumstances.

ShesComeUndone · 26/09/2021 07:56

I think the people questioning Henrysmycat probably haven’t been woken up by an intruder. I always thought I would be calm and rational but when I was in my early twenties (before I met my husband and had children) I woke up to a guy in a baseball cap standing over my bed. I jumped out of bed and chased him downstairs with an umbrella and yelled at him. Totally stupid thing to do but I think it was the shock. He had smashed the window to get in. I am always amazed that I didn’t hear it. I struggle to sleep in the house if my husband is away even twenty years later.

PlonkyWillyWonky · 26/09/2021 07:56

@Henrysmycat how scary for you. I think you reacted how most of us would.
It's not something you expected to see

AlternativePerspectiVe · 26/09/2021 07:58

I grew up in Africa and used to be afraid at night, because there not only do they break in to steal what you have, they murder you on their way out as a rule.

Then I moved here and although I always heard noises outside I tried never to give them too much thought.

Until DS came home the other day and informed me that someone had chalked an arrow on our house number.

It coincided with having a knock on the door the day before from some people claiming they were there to talk about energy price rises and could move me over to British Gas straight away if I wanted. They claimed they were from “money expert” which I’m guessing is a rip-off of “Moneysavingexpert” to make them look credible. Coincidence quite possibly, but it’s hard not to over-think.

The police are actually taking it extremely seriously and are coming round tomorrow as I have a disability, have no local support, and am predominantly in the house on my own.

I have bought. Ring doorbell so I don’t have to open the door to anyone, I lock all doors at night, and I have a dog who barks and whose bark would be enough to hopefully deter anyone from breaking in.

It’s worth remembering that an intruder isn’t going to know whether your dog is aggressive or not, the bark will be sufficient.

Am I scared? Bloody right I am. But I have to continue to live here so it is what it is.

Personally I wonder why anyone would want to break into a row of terraced houses when they could break into the ones up the road which are massive and worth £££, but who knows.

wellards · 26/09/2021 08:00

I'm fairly security conscious. We have an alarm & ring cameras on front & back door. Downstairs rooms are locked from the outside.

wellards · 26/09/2021 08:03

and a door jammer so if someone does break in you can keep them at bay. Last year I caught a prowler trying a neighbours door & reassuringly the police arrived in minutes.

wellards · 26/09/2021 08:07

So you actually went and confronted this person who broke into your house?? Instead of phoning the police and then creeping into your child’s bedroom and waiting in there, you ACTUALLY confronted them???

tbf you don't often know how you will react & when you are investigating the noise you are expecting it to not be what you fear.