Scared of intruders

[Nibblypiggotonabus]

So this has been exacerbated by watching Manhunt but it dawned on me last night that I have spent years panicking and scared to go to sleep straight away for fear of someone breaking into the house. I eventually succumb to sleep but the thoughts and subsequent adrenaline keeps me awake often.

I have no idea where this comes from. Every creak, noise I attribute to some nefarious nutcase.

I'm mid 30's and feel utterly ridiculous for stressing about every rattle of a window or creak on the stairs.

Am I the only one? AIBU?

I can't do a vote as it's on an app...

Anyway, back to the OP. I totally get this. I have spent most of my adult life like this. I absolutely love watching programmes like Manhunt too.
It got to a peak and my dad had to come and sleep in the spare room. I was late 40's!
It got better when I had a dog, even though they were soft as anything. When we were in between dogs I used to leave a water bowl outside by the back patio doors as I'd heard burglars are put off by houses with dogs and go to the next house.
Weirdly, it's got better as Ive got older. But after watching Manhunt I religiously close the curtains from dusk.

And you actually stood on your porch screaming at 3am!! No wonder your child was crying 😐

OP @Henrysmycat is perfect example of what not to do

Oh fuck off, tell us what you did in a similar situation?

I was burgled when younger at uni during the day. I chased & swore after him, I even picked up a maglite & undoubtedly would have hit him. I was overcome with rage & adrenaline, how dare he.

But I’d like to think I’d phone the police and hide in bed till he’s gone.

and what you going to do if he decides not to go?

The OP is never going to sleep ever again now! How spectacularly unhelpful.

Someone already being in has started to freak me out more (that Luther episode with the killer under the bed! ) I don’t have these thoughts often but when I do I check every room, bed, wardrobe…

@RipleyBelieves

The OP is never going to sleep ever again now! How spectacularly unhelpful.

Couldn't agree more !

Have you checked crime statistics for your area for likelihood of being broken into?

Have you checked your property for its weakest points?

Can you afford to install internal or external CCTV cameras and other security measures such as Ring doorbell, security grills over weak windows / doors?

You can buy cameras that don't look too obvious and can be placed on window sills.

Cheaper options - bolts on inside of doors, chain on front and back doors and extra window locks.

Do you leave your bag / house keys / car keys downstairs? Do not leave keys in doors or in view / reach from the letterbox. Don't leave small windows open at night. You can have the securest of homes, but your behaviour can weaken its effect.

Try to rationalise it, it is extremely unlikely that the surrounding houses or people that you know have been broken into so the chances of it happening to you are unlikely.
As PP have said, take measures to make yourself feel more secure; window locks, ring doorbell, sensor lights around the house, maybe even a dog barking sensor (there must be such a thing).
When you are in bed, go through your security measures and think them through logically. Hopefully you will feel calmer about it.

I'm more worried about who is lurking in Westminster.

No, really, plan, plan, plan.

Should also say that YANBU, when I am in the house alone I often think of what would I do if there was an intruder, but in my 40 odd years of life it hasn't happened nor has it happened to anyone I know.

To (hopefully) put your mind at rest OP most break ins will be driven by wanting to steal a car & the goal is to be as quick as possible. You can put your keys or handbag downstairs so if that's the goal they are out quicker. Also break ins are carried out by opportunists so making your home a bit more secure will deter them.

OP I live in a flat and the main door was regularly left open (including in the early hours) by an upstairs tenant for years until my boyfriend fixed the door (you had to really slam it to close it before) It was SUCH a battle with them and the landlord. Nothing was ever stolen, including bikes in the hall, but I used to hate it when I slept alone.

I still worry about being alone overnight in a house but I now feel incredibly safe in my flat. I think if you live in a relatively decent area, the likelihood of you being burgled is super low. Invest in some extra security if you feel it will put your mind at rest, but ultimately this is an anxious and irrational thought process that you need to challenge.

@etherealbeauty

I used to be exactly the same, I would stay awake every night. Then I got a dog and it's stopped completely as I know she would bark like crazy if anyone even got to the door or window

This would be my suggestion. doesn't have to be a guard dog. Just a small yappy type who would know the difference between the floor creaking as it settles or someone creeping in. Even if the dog is asleep it is 10 times more alert and has better hearing. You will sleep well. I do. (Except when Lily wakes me with her barking because the water dish is empty. I am now well trained and fill the dish to the top before I go to bed!)

Can you get some CCTV or an alarm ?
Putting locks on your doors, so that you lock the doors as you go up, is helpful as most break ins are at the back.
Get a door stop and put it in when you shut your bedroom door.
Make sure you’ve got a working phone with you at night.
Make sure the house number is easily seen from the road for emergency services.
And take some to bed with you, I used to take my wooden rolling pin .

This is interesting.

I have never been frightened of this before but we recently moved on to a large new build estate.

On the Facebook group people have been sharing footage of intruders through the night. Trying doors, pulling up on driveways and peering into cars etc. This is in a “nice area” in the suburbs where it is generally very quiet with low crime rates.

I haven’t been able to sleep properly for weeks.

@Nibblypiggotonabus Leave a downstairs light or lamp on and the TV on quietly. Looks like somebody is still up then

@StellaCinnamon

This is interesting.

I have never been frightened of this before but we recently moved on to a large new build estate.

On the Facebook group people have been sharing footage of intruders through the night. Trying doors, pulling up on driveways and peering into cars etc. This is in a “nice area” in the suburbs where it is generally very quiet with low crime rates.

I haven’t been able to sleep properly for weeks.

New build estates are always targets for burglars, new stuff, poor door and window locks usually and once you’re in one you know how to break into them all.

Sorry, I just realised that is really unhelpful! Do you have an alarm or a dog?

Hi all, I had no idea there were so many replies to this thread as it doesn't seem to alert me.
Thanks for taking the time, though I'm pleased I didn't read some of them before I went to bed last night!!
It's also nice to know that it's not just me that feels like this and perhaps I should take some further security measures to feel a bit safer.
It feels like a base fear that we all must have to some extent. Strange really, I'm a very confident person in most other aspects of my life.

I'm very sorry to hear the stories of those of you who have been affected by these things that most of us just worry about. Whichever way you dealt with an intruder is the best way if it means you get them out and you and your family are safe. I suppose that rationally the odds of it happening are so low that if it does, the probability means it never will again, though I'm sure that doesn't often give much comfort if you've had to deal with it.
There really are some bastards out there aren't there.

If you can honestly get a dog
The best deterrent in my experience

Yeah no I can’t get a dog.

I’ll need to have a look at some security type things I suppose

I would get some updated security in place - even a plain old door chain will make a lot of noise if someone tries to get through it. Also, a number of burglars have told me that the number one thing that puts them off breaking into a house is a dog. They don't know if the dog is friendly or how big it is, but more than one has said, if there's any dog, they'll go next door.

I hope you can put some more security in place, and feel safer in your home!

Even if you cant have a dog, get a large dog bowl and fill it with water and have it outside by your back door. I use a really large one, like what you'd use for an doberman! We have a tiny dog in reality but I'd like to think it would make a burglar think twice.

I am terrified of things like this. I think it comes from living in a rough area of south London (not far from the manhunt night stalker stuff actually) and it being fairly common for stuff like that to actually happen. I had one friend who was 24 and living alone when she woke up in the night to find a man inches away from her face. She screamed very loudly and amazingly he just ran off. One of the things that made my blood run cold about it though (well lots of things but you know) was that she was very short sighted and he’d taken her glasses off her bedside table and thrown them from the window so she wouldn’t be able to see. Horrible stuff.

I now live in a very low crime area, but I genuinely think if I didn’t have dh I’d actually fit several locks onto the inside of my bedroom door. Dh always stays up much later than me and is a much lighter sleeper so I’m confident he’d wake up.

Never google or read about the BTK killer in USA. Dennis Raider I think his name is. He used to hide in families cupboards when they went out and then emerge. Just gives me nightmares just thinking about it.