To have told two nannies they were being lazy?

[Fireandsand]

I was at playground with my 2 year old DS earlier. It was quiet, just us, a man with his twin boys and two women, who I assume were nannies, with one boy each.

As soon as we got there, the two boys with the nannies started to follow my son around. Everything he went on, they went on and they would push past him. I told them to stop pushing a few times, they ignored me so DS and I just moved to another piece of equipment.

I looked over a few times to see if I could catch the eye of one of the nannies in the hope they might actually pay attention to the kids but they were deep in conversation.

To get some peace, my son and I went to the far side of the playground. Within a minute, the boys were there again, they chased my son and pushed him over. I told them to stop and go away and they laughed.

I went over to the nannies and told them what had happened, they shrugged and one said 'boys will be boys', so I said they were lazy and incompetent and that while they may not care If the kids grew up to be bullies, I'd hope the parents feel differently so if I ever see them, I'll be sure to let them know how useless their employees are. They said I was over reacting and should get used to it because that's just what playgrounds are like.

AIBU to have told them to do their jobs?

Can you tell us why you assume they were nannies?

Yanbu to bring incidents like this to their attention.

You assumed they were nannies? Do you don’t even know if they were nannies?

How do you know they were nannies?!

You weren’t wrong to bring attention to the issues with behaviour but I doubt the additional rant was needed.

Because the kids called them by their first names and the two women were talking about a friend who was looking for a new family to work for.

@WheelieBinPrincess

You assumed they were nannies? Do you don’t even know if they were nannies?

Well no, I don't have concrete evidence but made a pretty reasonable assumption based on the situation.

Ok, I’m a nanny and this totally wouldn’t be how I ran my show. But like all professions, you get a huge range of standards. I think bringing it to their attention was fine but laying into them like they were naughty school children was a bit off.

You're fine, they should be watching the kids.

Boys will be boys can fuck right off too. They shouldn't be in charge of children if they believe that misogynistic shite.

IME nannies have more about them. Sound like au-pairs to me - little to no training / experience.

God are people STILL saying "boys will be boys"!!??

YANBU, they should have been dealing with their charges.

I would have been tougher with the little shits though.

Yeah and good point- not everyone who has care of a small child should be considered a nanny. Could be au pairs or mother’s help, and you get what you pay for.

They actually said boys will be boys?

If 2 older boys were hurting my toddler and the adult responsible for them was laughing it off, I would be a dick too.

YABVVU

I never want to hear “boys will be boys”. Honestly I don’t know how people even think like that these days.

It’s always annoying when people aren’t supervising the children in their care, nanny or otherwise. A few times when I’ve been to the playground I’ve ended up with an extra kid sort of attached to me and my son.

YANBU to say something.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

If 2 older boys were hurting my toddler and the adult responsible for them was laughing it off, I would be a dick too.

Well this is how it was for me, I probably was being a bit over the top for telling them off but they were letting two kids run wild and my toddler got hurt.

@Cakecrumbsinmybra

God are people STILL saying "boys will be boys"!!??

Sadly yes, it’s just constant crap spouted do attempt to justify downright shitty behaviour.

Post the nannies behaviour e.g. not watching their charges on your local Facebook group with a description of all their hair colours plus the children's approximate ages.

I'm sure the children's parents would like to know how the nannies aren't doing their jobs.

Can’t believe anyone still says “boys will be boys”!

I totally agree with you going and saying something. I might not have put it in the terms that focussed on them being nannies but I’d have been very firm about them keeping the kids under control and how it’s hot your job to mind their kids/ charges.

At our local playground this summer, there was a boy (maybe 8/9) who was a horrendous bully/ pain in the neck there every day - butting into other children’s games (fine to join in obviously in a park) and trying to make those games aggressive and competitive. Sometimes hitting and pushing other kids. No adult to be seen.

Eventually transpired he came with his grandmother who would take herself away and sit on a bench about 70-100m from the actual playground so that she had no idea what he was doing and couldn’t supervise at all. I think she lived with a view of the park, as it seemed they were looking out for others, ie unpaid babysitters, to come to the park and then coincidentally arriving…didn’t have the guts to say anything because she was older but probably should have!

YADNBU

If your little boy was pushing the twins - believe me it would have been a completely different scenario.

I don’t think that was an unreasonable reaction at all, or that you were ‘being a dick’ as some PP unfairly said.