Was he unreasonable?

[ButterflyBailey]

I have never posted in AIBU before but need an honest opinion.
So, I went for lunch with a friend. I had a meal that was cheaper than my friend's. He had Steak and a dessert whereas I had no dessert and a reasonably priced meal. I suggested to my friend that we pay for what we had to eat. My meal after a misunderstanding was on the house. I insisted I pay for my meal but the restaurant wouldn't let me. He then said we would go halves. What we were going halves on was just his meal. I felt this unfair as he was the one ordering expensive things from a restaurant which isn't exactly cheap. In the end we did go halves but I feel the he was unreasonable to say that to the waiting staff. I would have paid for the drinks and felt he should have paid for himself since that was originally the idea. Who is unreasonable? What should I do?

My answer would depend on knowing the friend. Would he have gone halves with you if it had been his meal that was on the house instead?

His was about £20 and I don't know him that well.

Why didn’t you say no, OP?

You got fed and presumably you had expected to pay something to get fed, so I don't see the problem in paying £10 for your lunch.

It wasn’t £10 for her lunch though, it was £10 paid for the knob’s lunch.

What was the misunderstanding? Did it inconvenience him in any way? I’ve been out before with a friend and they received the wrong meal, meaning I could either wait and have my meal cold when theirs arrived, or eat without them. Neither were what I wanted. In the end their meal and drink was given free and I had to pay for mine, meaning I paid quite a lot to eat a slightly cold meal on my own, then sit around and wait for my friend to eat when theirs finally arrived, and they had to pay absolutely nothing at all. That didn’t seem fair to me either.

@anotherwayout

What was the misunderstanding? Did it inconvenience him in any way? I’ve been out before with a friend and they received the wrong meal, meaning I could either wait and have my meal cold when theirs arrived, or eat without them. Neither were what I wanted. In the end their meal and drink was given free and I had to pay for mine, meaning I paid quite a lot to eat a slightly cold meal on my own, then sit around and wait for my friend to eat when theirs finally arrived, and they had to pay absolutely nothing at all. That didn’t seem fair to me either.

But it’s up to you in that situation to complain about your cold meal.

I didn't say no as my meal was free. It's fair enough for me to pay half because of that reason. I just think on some levels why do I pay for his though when he chooses to have steak and dessert?

You shouldn’t have paid, OP. You need to be more assertive and less selfless.

I would have paid £8 for the drinks

With a good friend I would definitely offer to go halves on their meal in this scenario.

BUT I suspect that my good friends wouldn't hear of it. I imagine they'd say that if I insisted, I could treat them to a nice ice cream or a drink after dinner.

And for someone you don't know that well, I think it's cheeky of him to have suggested it.

With vouchers for free meals, I'd always suggest pooling the vouchers so everyone paid a little rather than one person getting a free meal.

The misunderstanding was on my part. The restaurant had the name of my meal as one thing and the description as another. I asked if the meal I had was the Goats cheese risotto and they said yes, it's the mushroom risotto then read the description which includes mushrooms but the name doesn't. I wasn't comfortable asking them as I didn't want to come across as complaining when I wasn't complaining. I asked to find out if it was the same. Hence why I insisted I pay as it was the same and still lovely. It didn't inconvenience him in any way or me. They decided themselves to do put it on the house. I had not intended them to do that at all.

You ordered the goat's cheese risotto but didn't read the description that listed mushrooms as an ingredient? So you made a mistake but the restaurant gave you your meal free as a goodwill gesture, even though it was your fault.

In that situation, I would definitely either split the bill in half with the other person or pay the equivalent of my meal, whichever was less. You've benefited from your own mistake so I would share the "good fortune", as long as you actually ate the food and enjoyed it. If you left it because you didn't like it, that is a different matter. I wouldn't share the bill in that instance.

We had our meals arrive at the same time. It didn't inconvenience him at all. I asked about mine they said it was the same and read me the description, I said thank you, ate my meal and didn't think about it as I believed I made the mistake in that situation. They took my meal off which made me uncomfortable so I insisted I pay for mine. They said no, it's fine and they would take it of because I didn't have the food I expected. I paid for my friend's food as I thought I would pay half the bill as it's fair. When I came out of the restaurant I thought I would have done it differently as I didn't eat the steak or dessert but would pay for all of the drinks instead. I'm not irritated or anything with my friend. I am fine paying half as it isn't much more expensive than my meal would be.

So you would have spent £8 on drinks, and ended up paying £10?

No, I would have paid £8 for drinks but paid £14 which I am also fine with. I was asking if it is unreasonable for him to ask. I told the waitress we were splitting the bill and that I would pay first. I paid for half of his food which I didn't eat.

I'm happy either way but asking if it is unreasonable for him to ask me. As I said, I don't mind paying half of the bill.

Two people in my life have said when I didn't eat it I shouldn't pay.

I would have paid half and shared the good fortune of getting a free meal with my friend (unless this amount is more than your original share).

But he didn’t suggest going halves until after he already knew that your meal was free!

£12.95 your meal
£20 his steak and dessert
£8 drinks (I’m going to assume 50:50)

So if you’d each paid for your own and no free meal, you’d have paid £16.95

You actually paid £14. You’re already £2.95 up.

You wanted to only pay £8

You’re taking the piss! What kind of friend says, “I’ll take all the discount for myself, ta.”

Fair enough if they didn’t charge you because they knocked it over you and you still have cleaning charges to pay. But you said yourself - your mistake, and you liked the meal. So of course you share the good fortune of the free meal.

Now if he said, “let’s go halves” before ordering, and didn’t say when the bill came, “Ooooh - halves isn’t fair is it?” then he’s an arsehole. But it’s in your OP that he suggested halves only after your meal was deducted. And you still ended up paying less than the actual original cost of your meal plus drinks. You’re so utterly taking the piss here complaining!

@TempName01 That's what I did

You paid £14 but you would have originally paid £12.95 for your meal plus £4 for drinks if you’d paid for what you had. So in actual fact you saved £2.95 given you said it was your mistake and you enjoyed your meal.

What’s the issue?

I wouldn't have paid half

Two people in my life have said when I didn't eat it I shouldn't pay

But you ate your own food which you said was lovely? I think his wanting to split the bill 50/50 was reasonable, especially as one plate was free.

BUT! Generally I'd be embarrassed to order the most expensive thing on the menu and insist that someone else help to fund it.

I'm fine either way. I'm just asking if he was unreasonable asking