Aibu to think what’s he doing???

[Brindisi32]

N/c for this. Off and on over the years I’ve caught my partner lurking beside me whilst I’m sleeping. Sometimes he’s stood over me staring and other times he seems to be fiddling about - there’s nothing that belongs to him in the drawers etc. When I’ve asked him later what he was doing he’ll often flatly deny he was there.

Two nights ago he turned my bedside lamp on and then ran off to the bathroom…it’s odd because he has a lamp which is easy enough to switch on. So I asked him and he got very annoyed and claimed he was nowhere near my side of the bed…there have been times when I’ve found things moved or found my bag opened when it was closed. If I’m totally honest it gives me the creeps if someone’s stood over me whilst I’m sleeping and then denies it.

Aibu to feel uncomfortable? Or am I overreacting?

If he's on his way to bed it's highly unlikely he's sleepwalking.
Do you live together? If you do then it seems weird that he would wait till you're asleep to have a snoop, why not just do it when you're out of the house.
I think I'd expire if I woke up to someone standing over me, it's very odd behaviour as is the lying about it.

Crack him one with a baseball bat you've taken to having beside the bed. That should cure him. Thought he was a burglar.
😬Obviously in jest but in reality I would be creeped out entirely. Film him?

Too many suspicious instances for it to be innocent. The first thing I would do is check phone for any spyware.

No, yanbu to be uncomfortable
You are not overreacting
What a weirdo for putting your lamp on and running away. And a wimp for not admitting when caught.
Ltb please?

I wouldn't be able to sleep in a room with someone like that. I don't believe it's sleepwalking. He's gaslighting you as to what's really going on.

Thanks for your replies. I’m glad I’m not being overly sensitive. This is a small glimpse of a very odd situation. There’ve been times when there’s nothing of any interest by the bed but he’s still stood over me. And I don’t think it’s because he thinks I look nice when I’m asleep. I’ve tried an obvious camera and he won’t go near my side when he knows it’s on which is interesting 🙄
Does anyone have any recommendations for a cheap covert camera?

I think instead of looking for a cheap hidden camera you want to get out of that relationship. I know LTB really isn’t always as easy as it sounds but he’s gaslighting you (at absolute best) and god knows at absolute worst.

He's looking for your phone maybe? Is he a jealous type?

Yes to the camera idea. Or maybe pretend to be asleep and listen to what he’s doing and catch him as the bag is being unzipped etc and say right this is fucking ridiculous, what are you doing and why are you lieing about it?

Really odd behavior ! Why turn the lamp on then run off? Just bizarre. I think he's mooching in your things while you're asleep! I second setting up a camera, and I will be curious to know what the footage reveals!

An XBF once woke me up at 3am, wearing my dress, and then said I was dreaming.

Honestly trust your gut, forget the camera, and leave.

Maybe just dump the creep?

Why film etc. End the relationship and get far far away from him.

I think he deliberately disturbs your sleep and gaslights to deny it. As well as looking through your stuff.

Why bother faffing around with secret cameras? He's a creep playing games with you. Just leave.

That's really strange. You haven't just taken out life insurance making him the beneficiary have you? My first thought was he was gonna bump you off....but then I do watch A LOT of murder documentarys.

Creepy as fuck.

Honestly trust your gut, forget the camera, and leave.

^This. I mean, I can understand why you really want to get to the bottom of wtf he is doing, but really... if you've got to the point where you're having to resort to catching him out on camera, this is not a relationship you want to stay in. Besides, you already know he is lying and gaslighting you about it - what further reason do you really need to end it?

Do you smoke? Is he rumaging looking for cigarettes, or something else he thinks you'd say no to giving him? Do you have sex toys in your bedside drawer, or something similar he would feel mortified to be caught with?

Or does he think you're up to something? I'll admit to having looked through an ex's pockets and random crap drawer but I was was convinced at he point he was on drugs, for various reasons.

I wouldn't find doing it creepy, but doing it and then denying it and lying until the bitter end, even after having been confronted about it, yes that's creepy. Is he standing watching you, making sure you're asleep before he does god only knows what else?

I think it's time to LTB.

Leave a note just inside the drawer.:
Fuck off nobhead.

Then make plans to Ltb.

@Brindisi32

Thanks for your replies. I’m glad I’m not being overly sensitive. This is a small glimpse of a very odd situation. There’ve been times when there’s nothing of any interest by the bed but he’s still stood over me. And I don’t think it’s because he thinks I look nice when I’m asleep. I’ve tried an obvious camera and he won’t go near my side when he knows it’s on which is interesting 🙄 Does anyone have any recommendations for a cheap covert camera?

Why are you still with him? It doesn't sound as though you trust him, he's lying to you. Change the locks and get rid!

He sounds creepy and weird, I wouldn't be standing for that shit.

I'd be concerned he was filming you.

Get rid. Never mind cameras.

Surely if he wanted to lool through your stuff he'd do it whilst you weren't there?