AIBU to think DH is being a selfish arse about DDad

[CandyFair]

My Dad has just come home from bowel cancer surgery, where he has a temporary stoma. He is single, but my brother stays with him semi permanently. My brother is pretty useless so although he provides the company he offers very little practical help.

Whilst dad was in hospital his washing machine broke, I told dad this and he said he has a service plan insurance cover for it he will contact when he gets home.

So he gets home Monday, I see him monday. machine not working, service plan are crooks essentially and have to jump through a few hoops first so still waiting for repair. I'm working Tuesday and Wednesday so couldn't see him. Meanwhile dad had a problem with his stoma Tuesday night so had to change his bedsheets Wednesday morning and put the sheets in the basket ready to wash (he told me this over the phone)

I'm due to see him today (Thursday) but yesterday was explaining this problem to DH mainly really talking about the service plan crooks, how he's not got a working machine etc etc

DH was relatively sympathetic about the service plan crooks, but in the same breath said 1) Can't believe he paid 175 for a service plan on a 200 machine (agreed). 2)
he'd be better off just buying a new machine online as these crooks will take forever (agreed). 3) "I don't want his shitty sheets in my washing machine if that's what he's waiting for" .... I was stunned.

I would OFFER to do his DM washing if it was me
Yeh I get it's not nice having any faeces in your washing machine but seriously?

For bladder support the District Nurses are responsible for my brother.
Ask them about Incontinence Laundry advice.
All through the pandemic Nurses turned up to every appt. Always smiling.
DNs are wonderful, ask my Bro.

@saraclara

I guess you're right.

@Djifunrsn what impact is it going to have on DH to have some soiled sheets go through the wash? If OP had an accident overnight would he refuse to allow those sheets to be washed?

Surely with family, or anyone really, if you can help out then you do so.

TimeForTea - I don’t know - perhaps he has a phobia of other people’s turd. I’ve cleaned my mum’s off the floor so I personally wouldn’t care about human turd in the wash but I do think the op’s dh is entitled to not have it in his washer, particularly due to the fact that the problem could be solved with a next day delivery.

I’ve also cleaned my fil’s turd off a radiator

I hope you told your DH to wind his neck in!

Your poor dad, I wish him a speedy recovery.

If finances allow I suggest also a few cheap sets of sheets & new washing machine - IME once they've broken once they'll keep on breaking.

Sorry! Didn't rtft

Awful. I really hope he apologises to you.

All best wishes for your dad and a speedy recovery